high needs/spirited baby - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 12-17-2009, 12:09 PM - Thread Starter
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I guess we have come to the conclusion that Kayla is high needs. I have heard colic, GERD, you name it they said she has it. She has been hospitalized twice since she was released from the NICU for reflux issues. Each and every time, they say nothing is wrong with her, she is just high needs.

She is way ahead of her milestones, supporting head at birth, cooing at a month, sitting up at 3 months, learning to crawl at 4 months, ect. She was also born premature at 35 weeks.

That is all great, however the downside to it she cries all day unless she is being held, facing out looking at everything. She has been very alert since she was born. Nothing makes her happy unless she is overly stimulated. She gets bored with all her toys, her swing, jumparoo. The only thing that makes her sleep (now that is one thing I am lucky for is she has slept 8-12 hour stretches since 1 1/2 months) is going for a car ride. Now that she is at her 4 month sleep regression well she wakes every 30 minutes or so.

Anyway, has anyone else been though this/going through this? Any advice?
Her constant screaming is driving me insane, it makes me question whether I was even meant to be a mother. Noone wants to be around us, not even her father. The Dr keeps telling me, just relax and one day your high needs baby will make you millions. At this point I doubt she will ever be happy.

Jenn, single, wahm, to Kayla Rayne born 8-18-09 and Gunnar James who was born sleeping @ 39 weeks 1/12/2011
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#2 of 5 Old 12-17-2009, 08:33 PM
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I couldn't read and not reply. DS1 was exactly like your DD, also hospitalized for reflux at 6 weeks, and cried non-stop, even as a toddler. Things gradually got better, though. At 3, I would still describe him as high-needs (needs constant stimulation, likes to engage me all the time) but he's also very bright, affectionate and HAPPY!!!! Yes, happy! I never thought the day would come were he'd laugh more than cry, but it has, and I love it! Hang in there.

Mommy to The Boy (August 2006) and Another Boy (November 2009)
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#3 of 5 Old 12-18-2009, 12:41 AM
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Is there anyone who can hold her for an hour so that you can take a sanity break? Will she let you wear her (I suggest something like an Ergo so that she can be upright)? I was so happy that I survived to my DS's first birthday that I went out and bought myself jewelry (cubic zirconia, nothing pricey, it was just a little celebration for me).

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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#4 of 5 Old 12-18-2009, 01:45 AM
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BTDT. MY 4yo who turne dout to be a bit more than HN. Not sure where you are in S nj,but theres a great LLL in Toms River. I bet that would be a good spot for support for you. Feel free to PM me.

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#5 of 5 Old 12-18-2009, 02:59 AM
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my 2nd baby was EXACTLY like that. (hugs!!) it is NOT easy having a high-needs baby. hat is VERY high needs. it's more like incredibly high needs baby. I totally get that. my 3rd one is better but he's surely high needs. he wakes every 30mins to 2 hrs usually. al night long. he wants to be held a lot of the time facing outward etc.

my first daughter has pretty moderate ot severe SPD (sensory processing disorder) and we didn't find out until she was 15 mos. her babyhood was exactly like wht you describe your baby's as - screaming all the time. she also was in the hospital for reflux/gerd and has all sorts of specialists baffled. nobody knew what was wrong until I got her evaluated by an OT. finally someone believed us that she wasn't just a GERD baby!

anyhow we really benefitted from a couple of things to help us condition her to be happier baby. first off - I'm on a seriously strict diet - this helps more than anythig. it doesn't take it away but t cuts in half or more. secondly we do some therapies the occuptional therapist helped us come up with. and thrdly we used supplements for things like cod liver oil and magnesium etc.



and a book called "the out of sync child" helps you to get an idea on how to help them fell more comfortable.

((hugs)) again... a mama with a high-needs baby can't get enough hugs!!

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