The day arrives and it is bittersweet... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-31-2010, 10:56 PM - Thread Starter
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I am a longtime poster but haven't contributed for awhile. My now eight year old son has ASD. I had my third son three years ago yesterday. (My first son was born four months premature, multiple sever handicaps).

When my baby was born, I was seized with a complete and overwhelming fear that he would have ASD. His horrible colic and food issues didn't seem to allay those fears. I was consumed. I prayed and dreamed of the day when he would turn three and be NT.

That day has arrived and while I feel great joy, I also feel immense sadness. He is an amazing child. Incredibly verbal, aware of everything and in the middle of it all. Full of love and smart as a whip. I couldn't ask for more.

And yet, it makes me so sad. So sad for my other two who will never experience these things. So sad for these things that I missed with them. Sad that I see him growing and progressing where the others don't. He will grow up, leave me and go on with his life.

The other two? My oldest, I will be changing diapers for life. So smart but non-ambulatory. My middle. I am fighting like heck to get him to be on his own but who knows?

I guess is full of unknowns for all of our children.

For anyone who remembers my saga, this ending has a NT ending. Thanks for letting me share.

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#2 of 6 Old 01-31-2010, 11:52 PM
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Just wanted to give you a big

Nena, Wife to S since 1995, mom to G (my wonderkid) since 2000 and R since 2006 (my snuggley boy who was diagnosed with mitochondrial disease in 2007)
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#3 of 6 Old 02-01-2010, 01:38 AM
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from me too.
I didn't have the time frame but have experienced similar stuff with my two. Every milestone Caleb hit that Andrew might never was certainly bittersweet. Still is but time has helped.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

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#4 of 6 Old 02-01-2010, 09:14 AM
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I understand. Boy do I understand!

In my case, it's not ASD, it's a genetic syndrome. My third baby was not "planned" because we feared we'd have another baby with the syndrome. Thankfully, he appears totally healthy. He is already doing things, at 4 months old, that my middle son never did. It IS bittersweet! I had actually forgotten what "normal" infants did.

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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#5 of 6 Old 02-01-2010, 06:38 PM
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Hugs to you and glad to hear your 3rd son is NT - I can see how it could be bittersweet.

I had my special needs guy last and it is sad remembering what the older ones did at his age - things he cannot do. I worry wondering what he will be like at their ages. They are very active and have tons of friends and are pretty much happy and carefree. Will he be sitting here alone with me with no friends? That is a distinct possibility and it makes me sad.
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#6 of 6 Old 02-02-2010, 01:22 AM
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Hi, Raquel, we both had our colicky babies in the same week in 2007, and we exchanged some e-mails. I'm very happy to hear that your DS3 is doing well. I remember how concerned you were! My little guy is also doing well, he's even off his reflux meds. I know how bittersweet it is to see your toddler surpassing his big brothers in developmental milestones.

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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