Join Date: May 2009
Location: On a pilgrimage to Canterbury
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My almost 3yo DS (SPD) has been pee trained for a year now, but he still has a lot of anxiety about pooping and needs very strict conditions to actually do it. He has to be in a diaper, upstairs by our bed, with some cars that he usually lines up while he's pooping. He then panics every single time about being changed. Sitting on the potty scares him. If we are out or he is with someone else, he will hold it for as long as it takes to get back home to his pooping place.
I get that some people have to be in the right place to poop, but this seems extreme. He often won't tell us until he's been holding it and panicking over everything else. I know he needs to poop, but he will often refuse the diaper until I wrestle him into it and set up his cars on the bed so he can be reminded of it.
We have talked about how the poop is made, that everyone does it, etc. I've told him that I feel good after I poop, that it makes me feel better, etc. I've tried just not saying anything about it at all and letting him choose, and that turns into a big panic fest all day. I don't know what to do. He doesn't want a diaper or to be changed, but he doesn't want the potty either. He absolutely will not consider pooping any way other than his current way. I have tried my very hardest not to put any pressure on him about the potty. I don't really know how to give him any more control over the situation either, since he is really unable to take any part in the diapering/changing process (beside flushing his poop, and the sound often scares him).
What do I do? It's been a year and I have no idea when he's going to be ready to use the potty.