what do you think? Asperger's? Processing delay? Totally normal? LONG, sorry! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 02:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OR an auditory-processing delay....if there is such a thing. I'm really not sure if that exists or if it is a word I have fabricated to attempt to describe what I see with DS1.

OR is this a child who is just fine, but is introverted and as the oldest who is not around "older" kids, a little slower to mature socially? (but does that make sense given that his entire preschool experience, starting at age 3 years, 2 months, has been in a mixed-age 3-5? Also mixed ability, so some IEP, some typical kids.)

I'll tell you what I see, give me some insight please. (I don't typically compare my children as much as I do in this post, I'm doing it here to try to illustrate what I see with DS and how it is different than what I am seeing with DD--who has no SN.)

to give you a little background, I have worked with early-childhood IEP classes, so I have seen a few children on the autism spectrum. I know exactly what that means--that word really told me very little until I met the individuals.

DS has attended preschool on an IEP since a couple months after his 3rd birthday. (category "developmental delay")
The reason I took him in for testing was that at the age of 3, I thought he should be able to make simple choices "Do you want a red or a blue popsicle?" not repeat back "red or blue?" and look at me blank. (with me holding out both options so it's not like he couldn't just take one) He could COMMUNICATE, he just seemed unable to comprehend and answer the question. (I.E. he could come to me and say he wanted a popsicle. Then I'd ask him to choose and I'd get this blank look.)

He also did not find things in pictures till, I don't remember how old. But I do remember thinking it was odd he couldn't show me where the puppy was in a book at 18 months. Now that I have two other children, I KNOW this is not typical. (My youngest is 16 months and has been doing this for awhile.)
Again, if he was looking at the book and he wanted to show me the puppy, he could! If you said, what's a puppy say? He'd bark.

I met his kindy teacher tonight at registration. I told her about his IEP and she asked what it was...I explained this "language delay--a comprehension delay" using the color-choice example. She immediately said he sounded a little like someone in her class currently who has Asperger's. (This was not a shock to me, I've thought it...) But then she asked me a few other things, and they really didn't seem to fit.


But....he's been reading for about a year now, and he was 5 in Oct. Not unheard-of early typically....but that is something I've also heard associated with autism-spectrum. (*I* also read early.)

Here's another thing that I don't know if this is personality or what...if you ask him what he did at school, most often you get "nothing" right away. SOMETIMES if you get specific enough like "What did you do in the gym?" you will get an answer.

And if you ask him what was for lunch--the last thing of the day--he *has* to go get the lunch menu and read it. DH thinks he honestly does not remember.
I think he likes the fact that he CAN read it and so chooses to read it to us. DH has tried to insist that he tell from memory, he absolutely won't. (is this a fixation?! I see a few little things that *could* be construed that way. But they could also be explained by the fact that he's young and he likes doing it that way--he's proud of his ability to read. He, like most kids, likes his routine.

Here's another thing--he doesn't do things like melt down if I drive a different way to school. He notices, sometimes he'll comment, but he doesn't melt down.
But certain other things, like watching a TV show before bed--last night, I tried to send him without it partly out of a consequence and partly out of me needing to go out after they were all asleep. With the show--even a 10 min. short show--he's asleep literally 5-10 mins. after hitting the pillow. Last night he was dinking around in his bed awake until almost 10 PM! 2 HOURS! It's not that he was not tired, it is like he is so fixated on missing that little piece of his night that he *can't* go to sleep.
Is this a kid who thrives on routine like many do? Or is this abnormal?

OK and yet another thing. Sorry.

I took him to a restaurant with baby DS and some friends of ours last week. He got up and started running around the table and at one point was 'doing magic tricks.' When my friend's kids (7, and just a few months younger than mine) did this, she said "Hey, do you see anybody else running around? Restaurants are not the place." or something like that and they stopped.
When I tried that line on MY kid, he said "Yes, they are"...but he did stop. Just before I was ready to remove him.

This could be explained by the fact that I can count on ONE HAND the number of times my kids have eaten in sit-down restaurants, with a 5, 3 and 1 year old, it usually just is not worth it. I don't like to waste food or take people out if they are disruptive.

Also at home, he CONSTANTLY bounces at the dinner table. EVERY SINGLE DAY I have to literally park his butt in his chair and scoot him up to the table. EVERY DAY he will try to eat a mile away from the table, or sideways or something. (DD, who is THREE, will ask for help scooting her chair up, *usually*, if she needs it.)

The thing that makes me the most sick about mealtimes is he does not do this at school. Ever. I have eaten with him at school and he does not do this. I have asked his teacher and she says he eats fine there. (also the food at school has made him pickier about the food at home, don't like that either....but they are not allowed to bring lunch.)

Sometimes I feel like it is ME like maybe there is no issue at all and it's entirely my parenting that is to blame because his teacher adores him and does not see any of the behavioral things I see.

___

Nobody at his current preschool has ever even mentioned Asperger's or autism. *I* have not mentioned it because 1. I don't want to seem paranoid, like I'm *searching* for a label. and 2. I just don't know that it fits entirely. A *lot* of what I see can be explained in other ways.

The way his development has typically happened is his teacher and I will come up with new IEP goals for him, and almost immediately, he will reach them.

He did have one social-peer goal on his last IEP involving entering a group of kids who are already playing. It was written in early Dec. I think it was. His teacher came for home visit last month and said he's met it, he's doing *much* better.

She thinks he just needed the extra year to mature. Which I can see too. And it makes sense to me that an introverted-by-nature kid might take a little longer than some others to *want* to make friends and start using those skills. (Until about halfway through this year, he was choosing to play alone a lot--puzzles and writing, or interact with adults.)

--unlike my daughter who is already at 3, an age where they still play alone a lot--choosing older girls to play with and wants to 'play pretend', and begging to go do the Y gym daycare alone--but she is another post.-- The difference between these two is if you put them in the typical preschool room, my son at age 3 would've gone over to the puzzles. 100%. My daughter would most likely join the group of older girls over in the kitchen area.--

but that is *personality*

So before this goes any farther into not making any sense whatsoever.

Oh and for an added detail, I am taking one little bit of advice from the kindy teacher--I am going to request that he ENTER kindergarten still on an IEP, even if it is very minimal. She told me if he goes off and then she finds he could benefit from it again, they would have to do all the original interviews and paperwork AGAIN.
Whereas, if he enters kindy with the IEP, all it means is the resource teacher will check in with her on his progress and they can eventually decide one of three things--to leave it alone, to add to it, or to get rid of it.
(His preschool teacher told me before the testing that she felt he would not qualify to stay on an IEP. She did not GUARANTEE this, but she's worked with him for 2 years, she knows him, she knows the qualifiying guidelines.)

_______________________________________________

I have another behavior quirk to ask about. This same scenario has played out a few times in his life, so I'll stick with the most recent example, again it's the best way to get a feel for what I mean.

We were at the grocery store. We paid. NOTHING unusual happened. I mean NOTHING. They had a treat in the checkout. They KNOW the rule is we walk out together. (We held hands on the way in.)
DS1 takes off running out the door. I come behind with DD and the groceries, yelling his name and "come back!" There's no way I'm catching up. He runs out the second door, through the parking lot, all the way to our van. HE KNOWS THE RULES!

The *only* thing I can think of is that maybe he wanted to do it himself, not hold hands. but then WHY NOT STOP? This just seems like something I'd expect out of my 3 year old, not my 5.5 year old.
(on a typical day I'd be more than willing to let him have the chance to show me he can walk near us without holding hands. but on a typical day he does not object to holding hands in the parking lot either--sometimes his sister over me, I think it makes him feel bigger to help her.)

So then I went home instead of to the promised trip to the Y. Because I absolutely refuse to take anyone downtown who runs away from me. It's just plain NOT safe.

So then I had to go outside probably 15 minutes or so after we got home (I put the groceries away, unbundled DD--who is THREE and was disappointed, but she UNDERSTOOD!) And I had to unbuckle his seatbelt, drag him out of the van, carry him into our place, and hold him on my lap until I finally felt like he actually would not bolt back out the door. (I gave him several chances to do these things himself, I counted, usually that works pretty well. I also tried asking him "Are you going to stay in the house?" as he's screaming at me to let him go. He never did answer me.)

Is this typical?! The running is something I've seen fairly often in kids on the spectrum.....

This is NOT something he has done at school, only with me. lucky me.

________________________

OK so now I guess if you have read this far! congratulations! And I am asking for your vote.

Is this:

1. Asperger's or something like it? (kindy teacher said without meeting him she really could not say but that the language-processing as I described it sounded like it could be)

2. An auditory processing issue? (his physical hearing is fine!) Oh and the preschool teacher said she *does* see this seeming inability to understand questions, or did at the beginning of this year, it is another thing she thinks has improved.

3. A typical, introverted child who needs to work on social skills and on managing his emotions and expressing them with words? (the running, there's obviously some emotion there but don't know what since he doesn't tell me. In the example from last week, he was too upset by my immediate "now we are going home!" to talk about anything other than talking me out of that. Which did not work.)

_______________

This is really hard. I don't want to be seen as "that parent" looking for a 'label' for a kid who is on an end of the spectrum of "normal." I don't want my kid to have a label that is inaccurate.
And yet, I don't want to miss something that IS accurate and could HELP him.

help?

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#2 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 12:24 PM
 
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DS1 sounds like your child, but it was a language delay, not an autism spectrum disorder. His current diagnosis is mixed expressive-receptive language disorder. He is currently in speech and language therapy and doing very well. He's making huge progress.

Last year, we had assessments done. We went to our pediatrician, a psychologist, a pediatric neurologist, and a speech-language pathologist. Their conclusion was it is a speech delay, not an austism spectrum disorder, not OCD, and not ADHD.

As he has received speech and language therapy, a lot of the symptoms that looked like ASD are going away.
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#3 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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I think your child needs a real evalution. Teachers are not qualified to figure these things out.

<< (kindy teacher said without meeting him she really could not say but that the language-processing as I described it sounded like it could be) >>

no no no no no. Kindy teacher can't dx this stuff. They can say what they think something "looks like," but that is VERY different than the kind of testing and evaluation and expertise that goes into a real dx.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#4 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 04:11 PM
 
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I agree with Linda, you need to get a real evaluation done. My son (8) has Asperger Syndrome, and some of your son's behaviours sound familiar, whilst others sound like a typical contrary 5yr old! I know it is tough, but please don't blame yourself for any of this. I spent too many years doing that.

BTW, I don't think Asperger can be diagnosed before the age of 7, but a non-specific Autism spectrum syndrome certainly can.
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#5 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Adding voice to chorus that it sounds like he needs an eval, by a qualified assessor.

Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.

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#6 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that yes, there is such a thing as an auditory processing delay. It happens to me. Not severely, not all the time. But sometimes it takes me a few to figure out what was said, even though I clearly heard it. Drives the husband nuts when I'm supposed to find a radio station in the car, because I'll leave it on something horrible until I can actually figure out what it is, even if it's pretty obvious... just takes my brain that long to catch up to my ears!
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#7 of 21 Old 03-17-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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Auditory Processing Disorder is a real diagnosis, and is usually not assessed for until the child is 8. It can manifest in any number of ways.

http://www.ldonline.org/article/Unde...rs_in_Children

http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical..._auditory.html

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#8 of 21 Old 03-18-2010, 02:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I view a teacher as someone who has seen a lot of children and can suggest an assessment be done, not as someone who can make a diagnosis.

My gut instinct, having taken a day to really digest everything going through my mind and knowing my own child is...
that there very well *could* be some sort of auditory disorder

and that he is introverted, which explains his choices to play alone

and that he is both more mature and very comfortable at his current school, and that's why we have seen *major* gains in the social dept. in the past few months.

Also I think that like with a baby, sometimes major gains in one area happen then others----so last year, he learned to read. He was choosing to focus on that. Now he is choosing to focus on the social stuff, and he is doing well.

the teacher has never expressed any concerns about his social interaction skills.
He DOES talk and interact, my gut instinct says that he is just introverted and slow to warm up.
Which....a *lot* of the things I've read about high-functioning ASD (which is not a lot) strike me as things that could also be explained as someone fitting that personality type.


If a parent wanted an eval, either for a processing disorder or an ASD how do you get one?

also thanks for the links! will be reading

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#9 of 21 Old 03-18-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peaceful_mama View Post

If a parent wanted an eval, either for a processing disorder or an ASD how do you get one?

also thanks for the links! will be reading
I'm in the US. I checked my insurance and then made an appointment at the speech-language clinic at a children's hospital. My insurance paid for it. I called around for recommendations for a psychologist and then made that appointment. I paid for that cash.

If you need help paying for this, your local department of public health and local school district can direct you to resources.
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#10 of 21 Old 03-21-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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If your ds was older, I would have said ADHD by the time I was half-way through your OP.

Impulsivity and hyperactivity are kind of hallmarks of the 5 year old boy though (I'm thinking particularly of the restaurant, grocery store and dinner table examples), especially one that might be a little bit behind maturity-wise.

I didn't get an autism/Asperger's flavour at all from your posts. Although you have had to set some behavioural and social goals for him, he's met those goals with ease, in a timely fashion.

I think it's very astute of you to separate that as a personality trait rather than a disorder trait!

Autism, even high functioning autism can appear to be about personality traits, but the difference is that a personality trait can be altered through learning and 'training'. An autism trait can't, they're hardwired into a brain that functions with significant differences from the 'typical' brain.

I'd start with your PCP and ask for a referral for evaluation, preferably to a developmental Paediatrician, paediatric Psychologist/Psychiatrist or a NeuroPsychologist.

Good luck!
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#11 of 21 Old 03-21-2010, 07:09 PM
 
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The trouble with episodic memory ("What did you do today?" "I don't know.") sounds a lot like my older son. He also has trouble stopping some impulsive behaviors and frequently misunderstands questions. He was diagnosed with Asperger's about 6 months ago, and we knew it was coming for about 2 years before that. What I've heard in general and from a developmental pediatrician acquaintance (friend of my BIL, in another state, so we couldn't use her) is that it cannot be diagnosed reliably until age 6. Nonetheless, we were advised to start reading about it before the official diagnosis and I've heard other people say that there are some kids who do not officially have AS who benefit from the same interventions. In other words, it wouldn't hurt to look into it even before an evaluation.

In our state, there's one clinic that handles the medical diagnoses, but most school districts have a team that can give an educational diagnosis. The latter entitles kids to services via the school, the former is more comprehensive, may get you some things through your insurance (though ours specifically rules out SLT for autism), and is portable. Our son was diagnosed both ways--we self-referred to the clinic and had the district evaluation while waiting.
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#12 of 21 Old 03-22-2010, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is, he can't (or WON'T--this too could be an 'introverted personality' trait, not wanting to talk about school immediately after school.) say what he did TODAY. but he can tell about all kinds of stuff he remembers. Like when I said we were going to the town my friend lives in--we actually were not planning to see her but he remembered last summer and wanted to go play with her DS and go to the river.

The more I think about it and really look at him, the more my gut instinct says I am looking at someone who is introverted and who needed that extra year to mature, especially socially, before kindergarten.

(and the more I think I see things simply because I spent a long time before I had children working with kids who were ASD and other special needs....I think it makes me a little extra-cautious not wanting to miss something.)

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#13 of 21 Old 03-22-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by peaceful_mama View Post
The more I think about it and really look at him, the more my gut instinct says I am looking at someone who is introverted and who needed that extra year to mature, especially socially, before kindergarten.
When is his birthday compared to the cut off?

In general, red shirting is not a good idea for kids with special needs because they aren't going to outgrow their issues in a year, it just puts off the problem and makes them older and bigger but it doesn't solve anything.

And, if he is in prek as part of a school based program, they most likely will not let him have another year of pre-K.

Based on the variety of flags in your post, I would recommend getting an evaulation whatever you decide about school.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#14 of 21 Old 03-22-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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The thing is, he can't (or WON'T--this too could be an 'introverted personality' trait, not wanting to talk about school immediately after school.) say what he did TODAY. but he can tell about all kinds of stuff he remembers. Like when I said we were going to the town my friend lives in--we actually were not planning to see her but he remembered last summer and wanted to go play with her DS and go to the river.
My son's memory is similar. He can't tell me what he did in math that day, and he gets very frustrated if we push for details. But he remembers all sorts of details from old events--he's afraid of swimming lessons because of the time he slipped under the water and the teacher didn't see him immediately, and that was almost four years ago!
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#15 of 21 Old 03-23-2010, 01:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No, he's not being red-shirted. He already got the extra year, and I do see where he has made HUGE strides socially. He is now actually choosing to play with the other kids mostly and do all that pretend dramatic play.

He turned 5 on Oct. 8th. The cut-off for K here is 9/1.

His IEP transition to K meeting is Friday. We'll see. He has an experienced pre-K SPED teacher, so I am really interested to hear what she has to say.

Do your kids have difficulty with what seems like the simplest stuff? Like we do not wear shoes in the house. Yet I have to remind him and it turns into a fight about the shoes. (His sister does that once in awhile too though...but she is 3.)

I just don't know sometimes I think he is just a kid who took a little longer to mature and sometimes I think his sister acts older than him, even though she is two years younger.
Their language skills are actually about identical.

BUT...how much of that is just the fact that they are two different people?! A boy and a girl? The oldest versus having an older sibling and a baby after you?

And there are things about her that drive me crazy too like the fact that *he* was fully day, night, in public, anytime using a toilet at this age and she seems to have little ability to "hold it" despite using a toilet now for a full year. grrr that is another post.

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#16 of 21 Old 03-23-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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A lot of what you describe sounds like my dd who is 6.5 and on the cusp of being diagnosed with Asperger's. (they don't like labeling here) She entered K with an IEP and currently has one in 1st grade still, her dx for that is a speech and language impairment based on her low pragmatic language scores.

Oh, and differences in potty training are common. I have 5 children and so far they are ALL different when it comes to timing, the age, frequency, nighttime, everything!! You just can't compare that because there is a HUGE range of normal.

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#17 of 21 Old 03-23-2010, 12:02 PM
 
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I replied on the other post about your DD and the potty thing. Your older two sound a LOT like mine, except about 1.5 years younger.

My oldest is now 7 and has an educational diagnosis of being autism spectrum, more like PDD-NOS. He too did special needs preschool (although he did not start till he was 5 because I did not know to have him evaluated till then), then last year was partially mainstreamed into K, and is now fully mainstreamed in first. The way our school district does K for SN kids is that they are still officially in the PPCD (preschool) class for the year where they would be in K, but are mainstreamed for as much of the day as they can handle, and if it is too much, are then brought back to the preschool room for the rest of the day. So he started out only doing a few hours a day in the K room (lunch, recess and specials -- art, music, PE, library), and by the end of the school year was spending 3/4 or more of the day with the K kids. So K is kind of a transitional year. Seemed to work pretty well for him too, as he is now doing AWESOME in first (even got a 100 on his last spelling test! sorry, proud mama moment ) I wonder if a year like that is possible in your school? His IEP still does include some accomodations like preferential seating, extra reminders from the teacher to stay on task, extra individualized help from the regular teacher or resource teacher on as needed basis and speech therapy once a week.

Also, I can definitely relate to the very introverted boy who would go for the puzzles or cars vs. the more extroverted girl who would go straight to the other girls at the play kitchen. DS also used to just go blank sometimes when we would ask him a question (still does, but is getting better as he matures), and he tends to want to look at his hands and pick the skin on his fingers instead of pay attention to the person he is talking too. I can actually have more of a conversation with him if we are driving in the car or laying next to him in bed at night before he goes to sleep. Mine also has to have his routines, and finds it difficult to adjust things at night too. He also tends to "act up" more around home than at school. My theory on that is at school they are putting a lot of energy and effort into trying to learn, process all the sensory input around them, behave appropriately, etc. that when they get home, they are tired and "let their hair down" where they are comfortable and know they are loved no matter what. So I see it as proof of a good attachment/relationship with mom that they can let go around us.

But I agree with the others...if you feel that something is just not right, and you feel he could benefit from services, definitely have him evaluated. Can't hurt, and coud help you have more information to better make decisions or get him any assistance he needs.

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#18 of 21 Old 03-25-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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You need to start in a place of knowledge. At your IEP meeting, you need to request a re-evaluation. ALso ask your ped. for referrals for evaluations or go to your local Children's hospital for private testing. Then after you have the results, you can make some more informed decisions.

However, just reading your post, I think that he is completely out of line in his sensory input. Definitely auditory, but possibly visually and other ways as well. His sense of time is off (can't tell yesterday, from last week.) Wanting to wear shoes is a sensory thing, also. I don't think he is simply an introverted kid. I think he is possibly living too much inside his own head; hence running to the car without "hearing" you.

But realize that this doesn't mean he isn't OK. 25 years ago he would have been labelled a trouble maker and stupid. Today you are all going to get some help to manage life better. And he will go on to do very well, I am sure of it. He has you to help get him through. His experiences and point of view could change our world some day.

But trying to pretend it isn't so, won't help. Keeping him back another year, I don't think will help.

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#19 of 21 Old 04-02-2010, 01:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We had the meeting. He does not qualify to continue on an IEP. All of his scores were well within "normal" range. This is good!

This is his 3 year re-evaluation. A teacher came in and did several early-childhood developmental tests with him. The school psychologist also came and worked with him. He did an IQ test, which they said was *very preliminary* at this point, and it's well within 'normal' range--also, his test scores are near or above that IQ score--he works to his ability. The psychologist saw no concerns with how he behaved, nor did the other person testing him. It was an excellent report!

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If your ds was older, I would have said ADHD by the time I was half-way through your OP.

Impulsivity and hyperactivity are kind of hallmarks of the 5 year old boy though (I'm thinking particularly of the restaurant, grocery store and dinner table examples), especially one that might be a little bit behind maturity-wise.

I didn't get an autism/Asperger's flavour at all from your posts. Although you have had to set some behavioural and social goals for him, he's met those goals with ease, in a timely fashion.

I think it's very astute of you to separate that as a personality trait rather than a disorder trait!

Autism, even high functioning autism can appear to be about personality traits, but the difference is that a personality trait can be altered through learning and 'training'. An autism trait can't, they're hardwired into a brain that functions with significant differences from the 'typical' brain.

I'd start with your PCP and ask for a referral for evaluation, preferably to a developmental Paediatrician, paediatric Psychologist/Psychiatrist or a NeuroPsychologist.

Good luck!
Yes, this! He has *flown* through the social goals set for him. To me, it seemed like it happened completely on its own...like my baby learning to walk and then exploding with new words--first, he focused on learning to read, now he's really "into" this social stuff. I see light-years difference in the way he plays with the neighbor kids this spring versus last October/early Nov. (It's been a LONG, COLD winter, NO children were outside to interact till like last week.) He's joining and actively involved in organizing dramatic play--negotiating who's going to be the "pirate captain" for example.

Gut instinct....I'm not ruling *out* a possible auditory processing issue. But it appears that assessment is not done until a child is at least 8. I am guessing this would be due to a wide variation in what is "normal" for children under the age of 8. So that is something that needs time to determine.

I do honestly think that he's an introverted personality type who is drawn first to quieter, less "social" activities--puzzles, which he's loved since about age 3. Reading. Writing. Computer games. *I* am that kind of person.

It makes sense to me that somebody who is more introverted might take a little longer to be motivated to interact with the dramatic play at preschool--someone like my daughter, who is *not* in the *least* introverted, is making a *beeline* for those super-social dramatic play things at 3. You'd expect, because she *wants* to participate, that she would quickly develop the skills necessary to do it.

On the other hand, someone who is introverted, like my son, he didn't show much interest in joining the group dramatic play games till this year--at age 5. It's not that he NEVER did these kind of things. He did. It just was far from his first choice, to go up to a group of kids and join some active, loud game.

The difference that I see, in my--though I will say it is LIMITED--experience with kids of this age--is that your "introverted, shy" child will *eventually* come out of their shell and first, be motivated to join in the "dramatic play" and second, will quickly learn the social skills necessary to participate and have fun. This is what I see happening with DS1. I've seen a few others like him in my past work.

Your kids on the spectrum somewhere....don't. I've seen preschoolers who can fit in beautifully as far as doing structured activities with the group, but they're not participating in the dramatic-play scenes at "free-play" time. (or at least not as their first choice thing to do, and not without some adult help)

Some kids just NEED that extra year to mature, whether it's socially--like my case, or being ready to sit and participate in an all-day structured school setting--which I want to point out AGAIN, he has had through *this year* of preschool--simply because his birthday fell after the 9/1 cutoff. I don't get the 'choice' to hold him back another year, and I would not take it if I did. He has grown up *a lot* in the last year.

Maybe someday I'll be back to say I was wrong in this, everything *changed* in kindergarten, his pre-K teacher was catering to him, whatever.

But I live with this kid, I see a big picture--not a couple of isolated incidents I point out here--and what I see in the overall big picture is a kid who is somewhat introverted, attached to his bedtime routine like many kids are, and sometimes, like many kids, he has moments where he behaves much younger than his age. Is *any* of this atypical? No. Not to me. Not when I put together the whole big picture and look at it without analyzing little specific incidents to death.

I am on the record agreeing at this point with his preschool teacher (who is a 4-year degree special ed/EC teacher with years of experience, not a random un-degreed person in charge of a group of children) that he is one of those kids who really benefitted from his birthday being shortly AFTER the cutoff.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#21 of 21 Old 04-02-2010, 02:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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However, just reading your post, I think that he is completely out of line in his sensory input. Definitely auditory, but possibly visually and other ways as well. His sense of time is off (can't tell yesterday, from last week.) Wanting to wear shoes is a sensory thing, also. I don't think he is simply an introverted kid. I think he is possibly living too much inside his own head; hence running to the car without "hearing" you.

But trying to pretend it isn't so, won't help. Keeping him back another year, I don't think will help.
I re-read every post I've made, and nowhere did I say he *can't* tell what he did last summer from last week or last week from what he did in school *today.*

He CAN tell me what he did in school today, it just takes more than the general "What did you do in school today?" That will get met most often with 'nothing'...
"What did you do in the gym?" "What did you read a book about?" "What did you do at 'free play' time?" THOSE kinds of questions will get answered, usually.


The running away thing does concern me...nobody *else* seems to think it's abnormal as an occasional experience. It's by far NOT the 'norm' for our life, it's happened a handful of times. But, it did happen a couple weeks ago and at that point, I thought we *really should* be PAST this at 5....*sigh*

The shoe thing--it's more like he runs in the door and is excitedly showing us what's in his backpack, immediately grabbing the remote to turn the TV channel to what he wants, does not want to stop all this to take off his shoes first. I don't know though, I would think by NOW, espeically since he *can* do the school routine of immediately come in, take off backpack and coat, hang them up, all that...that he could also do this. No, I don't always IMMEDIATELY stop him at the door and remind him, I have other kids and *stuff* that stops me from doing that *every single day*---unlike his preschool teachers who have nothing to worry about but sending them all back to do it *right then* so they 'get it'....but even so I'd think by NOW...

but again impulsivity and a 5 year old boy....

Again when I quit analyzing every little tiny piece and look at my whole picture, I'm not seeing "abnormal!" I'm seeing variations on being 5.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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