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#31 of 47 Old 05-14-2010, 06:18 PM
 
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My son is 15. He has been on Prozac for about 16 months, and is working toward reducing his dosage (very gradually). Lately he has developed some school anxiety issues, and has been taking Ativan on school days. This has made a big difference for him. I don't really expect he'll take it when school's over, but it's good to know that he has it if he needs it.

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#32 of 47 Old 05-15-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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The sessions with both of DS's therapists went well this week. Both emphasized journaling which DS does not want to do . To deal with this he has agreed to email his school guidance counselor every day and one of the therapists created a worksheet with the basic CBT questions (What triggered this? What are your thoughts? Your feelings? What new thoughts can you have?) that he can use in class or when he has to leave class. He seems willing to use it. DS and the therapist also talked about the core issue of how DS takes his intellectual knowledge from treatment and uses it in life. So I have some hope things will shift

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#33 of 47 Old 05-17-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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Glad to hear you are having a better week!

My son refuses to journal - after a couple of months, his therapist stopped bringing it up - there was not point in arguing about it. He has been really good about adopting the strategies she taught him, so she felt journallig wasn't worth the fight.

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#34 of 47 Old 07-28-2010, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is going to see a new therapist today. My dh and I met her a few weeks ago and really liked her. Our insurance will not cover it and I have no idea where we are going to come up with the $180 a session it is going to cost but it needs to be done.

Since I wrote last, dd suffered a big set back. After school let out, she was fine for about a week but then just fell apart. She had new symptoms and was getting very little relief, if any, between episodes. We went to CA for two weeks--a work trip for me and vacation for all--and she was very very scared about getting on the plane. We have a long history of someone always getting sick on vacation and she got sick the last time we went to SF. I was afraid she wasn't going to be able to get on the plane. She did and she was great. It didn't help that there were two little girls sitting directly behind her that were vomiting the whole way there. She didn't really notice until the plane landed and she could hear them. I was aware the whole time and I was so upset. Really? Of all the planes? Of all the rows???

She got stronger in CA. She was with other family that she loves very much. She was busy and active all the time. She still had episodes but they were not as often and not as severe. When we got home, she was a mess for several days but recently has seemed great. No questions about getting sick. No debilitating attacks. It's been such a relief. But, obviously, she still needs the therapy since we have no idea when it is going to come back. And maybe it will be even worse the next time.

One of her symptoms seems to be that she is no longer comfortable touching other people. She will in play but not deeper--like no more hugs goodnight or goodbye. She hurt herself yesterday and was crying and I tried to put my arms around her and she was rigid and pushed me away. This seems mostly directed at me but I can see that her physical reactions to other people are also very orchestrated and abrupt. Has anyone else experienced this?

Mama to two wonderful daughers: 02/03/03 and 10/19/05
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#35 of 47 Old 07-29-2010, 07:18 AM
 
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That flight would have done me in!

I've not heard of rejection of touching being related to anxiety - but we're all such complex creatures it could be so. I'd wonder about three things:
1. Germ/illness anxiety (it may not make SENSE that she can touch you in play, but anxiety isn't logical)
2. General "getting older" separation stage (that hopefully is short-lived)
3. Is she angry at you (or at something else and projecting it on to you?)

The third one is interesting. I had DS (10) in for a psychological evaluation this spring, and one thing the psychologist said really stuck out for me. He said (in effect), that one of the things happening with DS was "cognitive dissonance." I.e., he *loves* his mom so much AND he gets so angry with his mom that he thinks these horrible things - and then gets irrational fears because even though he *knows* thoughts can't cause anything to happen, on some level he thinks *they just might* and it would be all his fault.

So we're working on me giving him more autonomy and independence and respect... and I still would like to find a therapist but am so conflicted - but that reply is a post that could go on forever, so I'll stop now!

Hang in there.
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#36 of 47 Old 08-09-2010, 07:24 AM
 
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What a wonderful thread. Can I join?

My son is 9 YO, and has no diagnosis. Looooong story, but I won`t bore you with the details. But he is very, very troubled with anxiety. (Since the persons evaluating him didn`t AT ALL bother to believe what we, his parents said about him being anxious, and he would rather die than talk about it with them himself, they decideed he "didn`t have any anxiety". But, it is very, very clear to everyone who bothers to get to know him properly, than he is very anxious on several levels.)

The biggest problems for him: Being alone. And the dark. These fears are VERY big, and they are very much making his life difficult.
Small examples:
He has never, ever gone to bed alone. He needs someone there, holding him/stroking him until he is fast asleep. And he needs to sleep WITH someone during the night. Even then, he wakes up with panick attacks in the middle of the night when he is having a bad day/night.

He needed someone to stand outisde the toilet when he used it until just a few months ago. Still does on bad days.

He has never been to a friends house alone. (This is due to his worries. He has lots of worries everyday, that makes him unable to do normal things out of fear that something is going to go wrong. "I can`t play with the ball, I am too afraid it will blow away/fall in the river/get taken etc." Or "I can`t say what I wish for for my birthday, because I might change my mind later."

The other very big problem is that he just does. not. learn. from. his successes. At all. So even when he DOES manage to do something he was very afraid of, it doesn`t matter the next time. Back to square one every time. This makes things extremely difficult when trying to ease him into things.

Pressuring him also backfires every time. Making him do the things that he has anxiety about is just not working. (Like, pressuring him to sleep alone is just not doable. He gets totally absorbed in his fear, and will cry/stay up all night. Literally.)

He had an accident on his bike a week ago. Nothing major, but it scared him. So now, he will not use his bike. At all. He gets a panick attack when I (or his father) tries to help him try the bike again. He starts screaming, crying, hyperventilating etc. And he just can`t let it go until he is told he doesn`t have to try. So, on top of the big areas, he "makes" small things into big problems, too. And they can stay that way for a long, long time. Sometimes they turn into OCD`ish behaviour, too. He had a period last year where he was sooo afraid of "loosing" things. Small pieces of paper, straws of hair from hsi head, cookiecrumbles etc. Everything, For a long periode he wouldn`t go out, or do anything out of fear for losing stuff. It came to a top when he started to hold his breath for as long as he could, because he didn`t want to "loose" the air he breathed out. Luckily, this behaviour was just a reaction to him being so, soo worried over something else, so it stopped pretty quick.



So he has some big anxiety-areas, and then lots, and lots of worries all day, everyday. School has been utter hell for 3 full years. we had to homeschoolhim the last 6 months of 3.grade. He hadn`t been in his classroom at all since third grade started. He just refues. He was scared and worried all day, and sat in the hallway at school, either crying or just being sad and embarassed. Oh, and I had to be at school with him for all of first and second grade. That was the only way for us to get him there.

And still, the therapistpeople decided he had no diagnosis. (Because he himself NEVER said anything to them about his fears when he was with them. Ofcourse he didn`t. He was six years old at the time, and his biggest fear was admitting he was scared. And since the therapists decided that what me and his father said didn`t matter, they had only the school to rely on. And the school said that he was doing well. Yeah, he was. Because I was there!! And because they NEVER followed him out of class the million of times he just got up and left during those 2 years. If they did, they would have found him under a chair/table in the room I sat in, hysterically crying or hyperventilating.) Yeah, funtimes. Sorry, I gave you the details anyway.

Anyway. I just wanted to join this group. Talking to others who struggle with anxious and overly worried children is very helpful to me. Big hugs to everyone.

*Single, attached Norwegian mama to my LoveBug, 2001*
 
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#37 of 47 Old 08-09-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Harper, your daughter sounds emetophobic. I am 35, and a recovering emet. I have had emetophobia since I was 7 years old. I have had therapy, medicine, CBT, you name it, and the ONLY thing that has helped my emet is my getting hyperemesis in my pregnacies. Where you are pretty much sick allllllllllll the time. It gets you over emetophobia pretty freaking fast.
I am not saying there is no hope for your daughter, I am saying here are things that helped me (as an adult) as child, nobody cared and didn't even try to understand my anxiety, which I think made it worse as I got older.
Good for her for going on the plane and dealing with the vomiting girls on the plane! AT that age, I would have probably tried to jump off the plane if I heard/saw vomiting....I hated being trapped anywhere.
You can get her sea bands as a comfort tool..i found if i had a comfort stash of anti nausea medicine(prescribed by my dr) that I knew if I got sick I could take, it helped my anxiety tremendously. Maybe not meds for her, but sea bands, they have cute ones now that look like braceltes, you could explain how they work, how they help with nausea, this may reassure her as a comfort item. There is an amazing website emetophobia proboards, google that and you must register, they have so much information on emetophobia anxiety. You can also find pictures of vomiting rating from cartoon characters vomiting to actual full blown pictures of vomiting that may be administered to her very slowly. I think the earlier that you try to treat this phobia, the more likely she will get better with it with time. The main thing is that when someone is sick, is not to make a big deal about it....I had to try so hard not to pass my emet down to my boys, when they were throwing up i had to be all calm and tell them its okay to throw up, its nornal, your body is doing its job........so its not looked at as gross, rather than a natural body function like any other. You can look up on a kids website why people vomit, which may be helpful to her. I feel so bad for her, and you I know how frustrating this type of anxiety is. It can make you want to stay home and in a bubble, cos you cant escape vomit. But that is the worse thing for her.If you want any more info, feel free to pm me anytime.

Me and my wonderful husband serve God. Blessed with twin girls 2/11/11. <3

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#38 of 47 Old 08-09-2010, 11:28 PM
 
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Hi, haven't been around much but wanted to check in because school starts in 2 weeks and I am worried for DS. He has had.a.GREAT.summer

He has a friend who is a girl - briefly a girlfriend but he freaked her out by telling her how much she meant to him and they backed away from being together. But he has been hanging out with her and her friends and another kid from school. And he is so relaxed and confident and even happy. He got a mohawk 6 weeks ago and he loves it, I love it because he is so happy with it. He has seen family and friends and gotten involved in a card game that he has played since second grade.

BUT school starts soon and I don't know how he will do. He decided to stay in 8th grade instead of trying to skip to 9th to get out of middle school. So he will be in this immature environment that triggered his anxiety all last school year. He isn't on any anti-anxiety drugs, I have tried some of the natural remedies but he hates them. I wish there was a way for him to start well, I wonder if his psych would give him a few anti-anxiety meds for the begining of the year.

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#39 of 47 Old 08-10-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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My son has generalized anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder (as well as bipolar). (My youngest has them as well but isn't diagnosed yet) We believe in treating mental health conditions the same way we would treat diabetes or cancer - with medication. As a child who grew up with these issues, but was unmedicated, I would never consider leaving my child unmedicated when the symptoms are as severe as my son's are. I think it is hard when you are outside the situation (as the parent). You look at how it is affecting your life, you look at how you percieve it to be affecting your child's life but you may not really be able to grasp the full extent of it. Our children get only one childhood and it is unfair for them to have spend it in the grip of a mental illness that is treatable with medication. I am not saying therapy doesn't have it's place but I am a big believer that therapy is useless until the mental illness is in place. It is like trying to talk to someone who's mind in unable to deal with what you are saying. When the medication is in place and the child is stable then therapy can teach them way to deal with their issues. Without medication (for real anxiety disorder, not just minor issues) I think there will really be no long-term improvement. I know that's an unpopular opinion here, but that's my opinion. I would actually go so far as to say that withholding medication from a child with a mental illness is just as bad as withholding medication from a child with diabetes. It is a medical condition and thank goodness medications have been developed that can help.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#40 of 47 Old 08-12-2010, 06:46 PM
 
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I am joining in on this thread. My DD is 7 years old. She has anxiety - always has had some issues - mostly specific fears - but things really started to peak in response to Halloween last year combined with bullying at her private democratic school. Not good. We saw a therapist for 6 sessions over a few months because that's all the insurance would cover. She seemed to get better. We decided to go back to homeschooling.

Fast forward to this summer - DD has been processing the bullying from earlier in the year. Her anxiety has been making her feel sick a lot - especially at night. She's been showing signs of depression for a long time (in hindsight) which really peaked this past two weeks. She's been crying a lot and saying very negative things. She seems to be doing a little better now but it's really just an ebb and flow thing for her. I am concerned about her inability to deal with changes. We are trying to get more routines in place in hopes that more regularity in general life will help her deal with other changes that come along.

DD also seems to be hoarding more things. Not terribly so, but I am concerned. I have OCD (non-hoarding) and have been treated for panic disorder and depression as well. DD seems to have the obsessive thoughts at times, but not necessarily the OCD rituals. (Though as a child, I had rituals that were not visible, so it's possible.)

We made another appointment with the same therapist. I think having her see DD weekly will be more effective than spaced out to deal with the insurance company. Apparently, WA just had a mental health parity law go into effect that means even people who have private insurance are no longer limited to a certain number of visits. This is a huge relief for us because we had no idea how we were going to be able to pay for it.

Our appointment is Saturday.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#41 of 47 Old 08-12-2010, 06:51 PM
 
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LoveBugMama - I have no idea how the medical system works in Norway, but is there a way to get a new evaluation for your son?

It really sounds like he would benefit from treatment.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#42 of 47 Old 08-12-2010, 08:17 PM
 
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I would actually go so far as to say that withholding medication from a child with a mental illness is just as bad as withholding medication from a child with diabetes. It is a medical condition and thank goodness medications have been developed that can help.

I would agree and disagree with you on this statement. Mental illness is a medical condition and it is wonderful that medications have been found that can help people with these illnesses. I treat her physical and mental conditions with the same level of care. She is currently required to take 2 medications for her medical conditions and will be having surgery in 2 weeks. Her medications have side effects and I worry about the long-term consequences of her taking them. Having to have surgery will obviously be difficult and painful for her. In consultation with her doctors though we have made the decision that the potential side effects of these medications and surgery are far outweighed by the potential damage of not doing these things.

In the case of her anxiety I have read up about the anxiety medications. They have their own potential side effects. For now we've decided that the potential side effects outweigh the current impact on her life from her anxiety. If we find later in her life that this balance has shifted then we will re-examine the medication decision.

Your posts on this have struck me. I wonder if you realize how your sound, frankly. They sound as if you think the parents on this thread are not constantly working to make the best decisions for their children. You have made the decisions that you believe to be best for your own children. As the parent of children with special needs I'm sure you've struggled with parents second-guessing those decisions and you don't appreciate it. I respect your right to make the decisions for your own children and I would ask that you respect my right to do the same. I don't appreciate the suggestion that I and the other parents on this thread are mistreating our children.
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#43 of 47 Old 08-15-2010, 03:02 AM
 
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Do your children have phrases that they are stuck on? Questions that they ask endlessly? How do you respond?

A book that was recommended to me was Freeing Your Child From Anxiety by Tamar Chansky. I read it awhile ago and really need to get back to it.
I'm going to look for that book. My DD is 4.5 and has had severe separation anxiety since early infancy. We literally can't leave the room without her coming to find us. She comes to the bathroom with me. She panics if she can't find us. Leaving her at daycare for 5 months last year involved a special ritual good-bye and she still cried. Same for preschool. She worries we won't come back. She has developed unusual fears recently. She obsesses about possible dangers - being hit by a car, cut by a knife, etc. We have to be VERY careful when we talk to her about safety or it becomes fodder for another fear.

I was intrigued by your question about questions. My DD asks questions about certain things as a way of comfort-seeking. She asks what we ate for breakfast, what day tomorrow is, what day today is, over and over. She only talks to adults and when she does, she goes through a mental list of questions about what their name is, what their mom and dad's names are, if they have a pet, what it's name is, what they ate for breakfast, what they'll eat for dinner...

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#44 of 47 Old 08-15-2010, 03:24 AM
 
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LoveBugMama, you have described my 4.5 y/o DD almost to a tee. She has almost all the same anxieties as your son. We have to sleep with her. Until very recently we had to hug her while she pooped. Still have to sometimes. Severe separation anxiety. Doesn't gain confidence from successes. Can do a thing once, twice, three times then the fourth time she's afraid all over again and won't do it. Gets totally put off by a bad experience or failure and won't try again. Hasn't got friends b/c she can't play with kids b/c they are too scary to her. When we do play dates, she has to have me with her all the time. Can't play alone at home - we must play with her.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *LoveBugMama* View Post
What a wonderful thread. Can I join?

My son is 9 YO, and has no diagnosis. Looooong story, but I won`t bore you with the details. But he is very, very troubled with anxiety. (Since the persons evaluating him didn`t AT ALL bother to believe what we, his parents said about him being anxious, and he would rather die than talk about it with them himself, they decideed he "didn`t have any anxiety". But, it is very, very clear to everyone who bothers to get to know him properly, than he is very anxious on several levels.)

The biggest problems for him: Being alone. And the dark. These fears are VERY big, and they are very much making his life difficult.
Small examples:
He has never, ever gone to bed alone. He needs someone there, holding him/stroking him until he is fast asleep. And he needs to sleep WITH someone during the night. Even then, he wakes up with panick attacks in the middle of the night when he is having a bad day/night.

He needed someone to stand outisde the toilet when he used it until just a few months ago. Still does on bad days.

He has never been to a friends house alone. (This is due to his worries. He has lots of worries everyday, that makes him unable to do normal things out of fear that something is going to go wrong. "I can`t play with the ball, I am too afraid it will blow away/fall in the river/get taken etc." Or "I can`t say what I wish for for my birthday, because I might change my mind later."

The other very big problem is that he just does. not. learn. from. his successes. At all. So even when he DOES manage to do something he was very afraid of, it doesn`t matter the next time. Back to square one every time. This makes things extremely difficult when trying to ease him into things.

Pressuring him also backfires every time. Making him do the things that he has anxiety about is just not working. (Like, pressuring him to sleep alone is just not doable. He gets totally absorbed in his fear, and will cry/stay up all night. Literally.)

He had an accident on his bike a week ago. Nothing major, but it scared him. So now, he will not use his bike. At all. He gets a panick attack when I (or his father) tries to help him try the bike again. He starts screaming, crying, hyperventilating etc. And he just can`t let it go until he is told he doesn`t have to try. So, on top of the big areas, he "makes" small things into big problems, too. And they can stay that way for a long, long time. Sometimes they turn into OCD`ish behaviour, too. He had a period last year where he was sooo afraid of "loosing" things. Small pieces of paper, straws of hair from hsi head, cookiecrumbles etc. Everything, For a long periode he wouldn`t go out, or do anything out of fear for losing stuff. It came to a top when he started to hold his breath for as long as he could, because he didn`t want to "loose" the air he breathed out. Luckily, this behaviour was just a reaction to him being so, soo worried over something else, so it stopped pretty quick.



So he has some big anxiety-areas, and then lots, and lots of worries all day, everyday. School has been utter hell for 3 full years. we had to homeschoolhim the last 6 months of 3.grade. He hadn`t been in his classroom at all since third grade started. He just refues. He was scared and worried all day, and sat in the hallway at school, either crying or just being sad and embarassed. Oh, and I had to be at school with him for all of first and second grade. That was the only way for us to get him there.

And still, the therapistpeople decided he had no diagnosis. (Because he himself NEVER said anything to them about his fears when he was with them. Ofcourse he didn`t. He was six years old at the time, and his biggest fear was admitting he was scared. And since the therapists decided that what me and his father said didn`t matter, they had only the school to rely on. And the school said that he was doing well. Yeah, he was. Because I was there!! And because they NEVER followed him out of class the million of times he just got up and left during those 2 years. If they did, they would have found him under a chair/table in the room I sat in, hysterically crying or hyperventilating.) Yeah, funtimes. Sorry, I gave you the details anyway.

Anyway. I just wanted to join this group. Talking to others who struggle with anxious and overly worried children is very helpful to me. Big hugs to everyone.

Weary SuperMama superhero.gifto my  amazing neurodiverse 6 y.o. DD hearts.gif and to my on-the-go neurotypical 3 y.o. DS wild.gif

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#45 of 47 Old 08-15-2010, 06:03 PM
 
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LoveBugMama, you have described my 4.5 y/o DD almost to a tee. She has almost all the same anxieties as your son. We have to sleep with her. Until very recently we had to hug her while she pooped. Still have to sometimes. Severe separation anxiety. Doesn't gain confidence from successes. Can do a thing once, twice, three times then the fourth time she's afraid all over again and won't do it. Gets totally put off by a bad experience or failure and won't try again. Hasn't got friends b/c she can't play with kids b/c they are too scary to her. When we do play dates, she has to have me with her all the time. Can't play alone at home - we must play with her.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Thank you. It`s "nice" to know someone understands.
We have had a wonderful summer. He is at his best when he can be home with me all day, visit his father whenever he wants to, stay in his fathers summerhouse (I`m there, too) and play with his cousins who are also at the summerhouse. No pressure, no school and almost as important: very little darkness. The sun is up until very late, so his extreme fear of the dark is a lot less troublesome.

But, even though things have been very good, he has lots of things he worry about. He wants me and/or his dad by his side at all times. Every morning he wants me to go with him to grandmas house next door to the summerhouse, where all his cousins are. It is literally two houses in the same garden, but he needs me to be there with him. This last week he has actually been there alone for a little while several times.

He also worries so much about what people are doing. It`s like he needs everyone to do the same thing. Anyone experience this? We have been around 20 people in the two houses combined, and he "nags" endlessly, because he wants everyone to play/do the same thing. Like play volleyball. And he asks the same people over, and over and over again. Like he needs to ask 5-6-7-8 times "to be sure" they are not fooling him, or to be sure that "yes, aunt x and uncle Y and cousins 1,2,3,4 and 5 WILL play volleyball with you in a few minutes.

It`s kinda sad. The other cousins look at him and just don`t understand WHY he does these things. Why does he ask about the same things so, so many times etc.

But, all in all, summer has been good.
How about the rest of you?

*Single, attached Norwegian mama to my LoveBug, 2001*
 
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#46 of 47 Old 10-28-2010, 01:47 AM
 
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It looks like this thread has died...

I just found it after starting my own thread looking for support.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1274789

Anyone care to join me over there?

mumma to sweet 7 year old girl
and darling 2 year old guy

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#47 of 47 Old 11-08-2012, 02:37 PM
 
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could you expand more on the link between the sickness and anxiety NightOwl with Owl?

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