so i found out last night that dd (3.5, asd) was denied for ssi - for the second time. they said her case is "severe," but not enough to interfere with age appropriate activities
. so for almost the last year now, i've been going in further debt- thinking ssi would surely come through. now i just don't know what to do. i feel so crushed, so angry, so tired of fighting for what she needs. it seems my only options now are to go back to work, and to put her in school. i can't afford an in-home caregiver. i KNOW, though, that she will be that kid (the one i read about on these boards all.the.time.) who cannot take school right now, and will be kicked out (or whatever the pc term is for asking a little one to leave -lol.). she's already been in group situations, been in early intervention school class, etc. i wish dearly that she did fit into a school, that she did thrive, that it did meet her needs - but i feel 99.99% sure that it does/will not.
this system is so f***** up. a kid with a physical disability would never be forced to run track if it was incredibly difficult for them. why should a kid with a social disability be required to be surrounded by noisy peers all day??
i just feel like quitting- like saying, "fine, you're all right. special diets are crazy. supplements are crazy. the social skills training we intertwine into our daily lives is crazy. she'll LOVE school. she just needs to be pushed more. needs more discipline. yes, all that."
thanks for letting me vent. i can act as if i'm angry to the core, but really more than anything i'm just sad. really sad. this doesn't seem quite right.