Just sad. And need to post where someone understands. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 06:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is just a petty vent....I'm just sad that I had to leave another event (baby shower...that I, against my better judgement, brought DD to at the urging of the mama-to-be) early, because of a meltdown (DD, 4.5....SPD, articulation disorder....more, but no dx), with people staring. Meddling MIL trying to 'help'. And then feeling incredibly jealous of the parents-to-be and how happy they are. It's just been a rough coupla days.
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#2 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 06:44 PM
 
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I totally understand. I'm sorry it's tough.

Wendy ~ mom to VeeGee (6/05), who has PRS, Apraxia, SPD, VPI, a G-Tube, 14q duplication, and is a delightful little pistol! I'm an English professor and a writer.
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#3 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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sorry mama, sounds pretty sucky.

try to remember that you and your family are the # 1 priority and other people come second. when making decisions think: is that gonna be the best possible decision for me? my kid? if yes then consider what the other people want if, no... well they don't really matter that much.

I've been there too. I'm sure there were people there who understood and wished to help and nbot only the others who we dont want to know what they were thinking.
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#4 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 07:09 PM
 
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Big hugs to you, mama. Been there, felt that, many times.

Nena, Wife to S since 1995, mom to G (my wonderkid) since 2000 and R since 2006 (my snuggley boy who was diagnosed with mitochondrial disease in 2007)
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#5 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 11:38 PM
 
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but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#6 of 16 Old 08-14-2010, 11:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gilamama View Post

try to remember that you and your family are the # 1 priority and other people come second. when making decisions think: is that gonna be the best possible decision for me? my kid? if yes then consider what the other people want if, no... well they don't really matter that much.
great advice, something I need to make a priority.

To the OP, I've been there so many times.

 knit.gifmama to my boy autismribbon.gif (9/06) and my girl (3/09) and surprise 1sttri.gif due in May!
 

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#7 of 16 Old 08-15-2010, 07:05 PM
 
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#8 of 16 Old 08-15-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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I have been there. I do believe that people understand, but in the moment if feels like everyone is judging. With my daughter, aunts who I swear thought I was a terrible parent, told me that my dd is lucky to have such patient calm parents I am sorry you had to miss the rest of the shower.
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#9 of 16 Old 08-15-2010, 11:23 PM
 
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Sigh, I can totally relate. It seems like there isn't a day that passes that DS1 doesn't totally loose it in a public place and embarrass me. People can be so judgmental, but everyone here understands.
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#10 of 16 Old 08-15-2010, 11:31 PM
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(((hugs)))

Been there many times with my ADHD/SPD sensory seeker. Other people really don't understand and the "help" can seem very judgmental even though it may not be meant that way.

Everyone here can relate, I think.
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#11 of 16 Old 08-16-2010, 12:00 AM
 
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Hugs - BTDT - just today - and it is soooo tiring. . .

Hang in there beachbaby.

Samm
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#12 of 16 Old 08-16-2010, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone.
I'm feeling better now. It's just such a mix of emotion....embarrasment, jealously, exhaustion (just wishing it could be easy for once), and sadness for DD that she feels so overwhelmed. She melted down partly because of sensory stuff and specifically because, in her words, because she wasn't getting any presents. "Why does the baby get presents and I don't?" She feels everything so intensely.
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#13 of 16 Old 08-16-2010, 02:13 AM
 
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If it helps, age 4-5 is a really hard age for kids to watch others get presents, whether they're typically developing or not. Having SPD probably intensifies things and makes it harder.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
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#14 of 16 Old 08-16-2010, 02:18 AM
 
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That really sucks. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you two.
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#15 of 16 Old 08-16-2010, 02:20 AM
 
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Just stumbled in here from new posts, and wanted to let you know that I've had to do that a number of times and my kids have no special needs or other issues, aside from being kids. Everyone should have been understanding, and if I were there, you would have had my utmost sympathy, not judgment.

Mommy to kids

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#16 of 16 Old 08-19-2010, 03:04 AM
 
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I've totally been there and I'm sorry, it's no fun at all. My ds is 4 1/2 also and we go almost no where with him cause of the constant meltdowns, it's awful and I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Hugs to you!!!
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