DS1 has a speech and understanding delay. We're in the process of getting him evaluated and an official diagnosis, but at the moment it appears that he has Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder (MERLD). He is 3 with an extremely small vocabularly (easily less than 50 words), and he also understands very little. For example, you can say "Hand me the train" and point at a table with a train and a couple of other objects. Even though he plays with trains every day, he doesn't understand the word or connect it to the object. He will understand from the context that you want something on the table, and will bring you each object in turn.
This makes discipline extremely difficult. DS1 has a very hot temper and is very sensitive and emotional. We want to help him understand and work with all of this. At the same time, he needs effective discipline. It seems impossible to accomplish any of this with the normal AP/gentle discipline techniques. Whereas with a developmentally normal child, if they got angry and threw a bowl of water, we would say something like "You're angry. It's okay to be angry, but you may not throw water. Let me show you how to punch a pillow to let your anger out" for a first offense and explain that he may not play with water for the rest of the day for a second offense. With DS1 his lack of understanding makes any sort of naming emotions or offering alternatives or consequences impossible. We currently do warnings first, then time outs, but that feels sort of arbitrary.
We would feel much better if there was some way of addressing his emotional needs and helping him understand the consequences of his actions instead of just punitive discipline.
Does anyone have advice or suggestions? They would be greatly appreciated!
This makes discipline extremely difficult. DS1 has a very hot temper and is very sensitive and emotional. We want to help him understand and work with all of this. At the same time, he needs effective discipline. It seems impossible to accomplish any of this with the normal AP/gentle discipline techniques. Whereas with a developmentally normal child, if they got angry and threw a bowl of water, we would say something like "You're angry. It's okay to be angry, but you may not throw water. Let me show you how to punch a pillow to let your anger out" for a first offense and explain that he may not play with water for the rest of the day for a second offense. With DS1 his lack of understanding makes any sort of naming emotions or offering alternatives or consequences impossible. We currently do warnings first, then time outs, but that feels sort of arbitrary.
We would feel much better if there was some way of addressing his emotional needs and helping him understand the consequences of his actions instead of just punitive discipline.
Does anyone have advice or suggestions? They would be greatly appreciated!