If you receive services in your home, do you offer food/drinks??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It just occurred to me after the evaluation today that we probably should have offered them something??? I am not a natural host and get very nervous in general but especially about offering things... partly because we only keep "weird" (by mainstream, at least) food/drinks in the house & partly because most of our cups and plates are chipped & stained. lol.gif

Do you offer something? Is it expected or optional?

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#2 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 03:55 PM
 
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I don't claim to know the full answer to this, but I remember years and years ago when the state commission for the blind sent a couple people to my mom's house (I was 21 and still living with my parents) to show me how to use a cane. My mom had something little - a plate of pretty-looking store-bought cookies and some tea, maybe - and the commission folks were pleased but also surprised. They told me it was nice, and mentioned that nobody ever served them anything before.

 

I too am not a natural host (and I'm extremely cheap these days to boot) so I'm not the last word on this, but I didn't serve the EI folks anything when DD got PT.

 

Also, the way I see it, they are on the job. Imagine if everybody served them food and drinks? They would be stuffed pretty quick, wouldn't they :) So I doubt that it's standard, even if people do sometimes serve or offer food.


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#3 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 05:26 PM
 
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I often offer something and am always politely refused. Generally if I'm making myself coffee or something I'll offer to make some for them, or get something else to drink, but invariably they say no. So I don't think it is expected.That they all say no every single time makes me think taking food or drink while providing services might be discouraged or even not allowed.


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#4 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 05:43 PM
 
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I would personally offer a glass of ice water if it is particularly hot, or maybe a cup of coffee in the winter if you have just brewed some for yourself, but I would not offer more complicated food/drinks than that.

 

maybe a cookie on your son's birthday.

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#5 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 06:56 PM
 
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I never do but DS gets therapy at 8am so I figure everyone is good that time of day. 


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#6 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 07:11 PM
 
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I'm a natural hostess and offer pretty much any one coming into my home for any reason a drink, even the cable guy. orngtongue.gif


However, nearly all people who are doing a job of any sort politely refuse. I believe in most situations, they either aren't allowed or are struggling discouraged from accepting things, even a glass a water.

 

So if you don't want to offer, don't offer. They would most likely have to say "no" anyway. Just be yourself and try hard to relax (think about relaxing your shoulder blades down your back and take a couple of deep breaths). They really are there to help, and most likely would prefer to not make you feel nervous or uncomfortable in any way.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#7 of 25 Old 05-16-2011, 07:20 PM
 
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I actually discuss it with providers as part of the process.  We had a woman come to our house to work with our son twice a week for the summer last year. She arrived at 9 and stayed until 10:30.  The timing was a little off-too late for breakfast, to early for lunch. When I asked her she said would love to have coffee so I made sure to brew an extra pot before she came. 

 

While certainly not  "guests" I still want them to feel comfortable in our home but also don't want to interfere with their job. I think by asking them up front you can avoid all the awkwardness.

 

Now for a one time visit? I might offer them something to drink but unless they were coming and staying for a stretch of time that crossed a meal time that would be the extent of it. 


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#8 of 25 Old 05-17-2011, 04:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Wild Lupine View Post

I often offer something and am always politely refused. Generally if I'm making myself coffee or something I'll offer to make some for them, or get something else to drink, but invariably they say no. So I don't think it is expected.That they all say no every single time makes me think taking food or drink while providing services might be discouraged or even not allowed.



That has been my experience too. I offered the first couple times the worker came over but then stopped offering.


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#9 of 25 Old 05-17-2011, 04:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Phew I am relieved to hear this. That takes a big burden off. So I guess if I happen to be making something or feel comfortable offering, I will, but otherwise I can just relax and not worry about it... I was so reluctant to have people in my home in the first place and then I thought I made a big faux paus...

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#10 of 25 Old 05-17-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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I too offered and am always refused. I usually only offer now if I am actively making myself something, like a cup of tea, while they are there. I expect them to say no, but I just can't get myself something and not offer. I wasn't raised that way. ;) 

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#11 of 25 Old 05-17-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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I had EI services for DS for almost 2 years.  I only offered a drink and was usually refused.   I also had EI services for ODD for a couple of months and offered coffee or water.   Sometimes she took me up on the coffee!!!

 

I never made anything special for any of the evals or the actual sessions.  

 

ETA: that once the therapist that came for DS did stay for lunch a couple times.  We got to know each other well, and it was more of a friendly casual thing. 


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#12 of 25 Old 05-25-2011, 09:01 AM
 
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We have had some services in the past at home.  I didn't offer anything because it was only for an hour.  If it were longer I would at least ask if they would like a glass or ice water or tea or coffee.


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#13 of 25 Old 05-25-2011, 10:42 AM
 
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For people coming for an hour or less?  No.  They aren't like typical "guests".  They are at work, and take lunch breaks, ect.  Now if it were stifling hot and the person looked overheated I definitely would.  But I don't as a matter of course.

 

We have nursing in the home though and these are people I've grown close to.  I offer food constantly.  Anything I bake, they can have some.  They know if they ever walk out of their house without their lunch, they are welcome to use some of my bread or whatever to make a sandwich (they do this from time to time, but usually choose to order donatos LOL). They work anywhere from 6-12 hours a shift so I want them well-fed and happy so they can take better care of my DD.

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#14 of 25 Old 05-25-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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Nope, we don't.  I know if DS saw it, he'd want something and any therapy would go down hill quickly.  Meetings are usually around our table and if we offered food/drinks, there wouldn't be room for the papers.

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#15 of 25 Old 05-27-2011, 05:56 PM
 
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Don't. Most aren't ethically allowed to accept. From that perspective, I get very uncomfortable if a family keeps insisting I have something to drink, eat, a gift, etc. as it is unethical to accept, but having to repeatedly say no makes me feel rude. If it's a hot day and they're outside running with your child, maybe water if you really feel the need, but usually we're prepared with our own.

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#16 of 25 Old 05-27-2011, 10:22 PM
 
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I always offer drink when my youngest DD's OT comes out to the house.  It is the type of person I am so it is just natural to me.  I did ask her on the first visit to my home if she was allowed to accept refreshments when in my home and if she would like the chance to decide if she would like something I was having if and when the situation arose.  She told me yes and that no she wouldn't mind if I offered on a by case basis.  I hope this info is helpful for you.

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#17 of 25 Old 05-29-2011, 01:37 AM
 
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I usually don't come to this section but a family member had in-home care for a while and what they chose to do was always offer bottled water. I know many on here are anti plastic etc but the nursing staff appreciated the offer and usually took a bottle.  I *think* what made it ok was the bottle was sealed and it was from the store.  (I'm not sure if that was company policy or just the staff preference of who they were assigned).


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#18 of 25 Old 05-29-2011, 02:21 AM
 
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I never offered food or drink because our appointments were right after lunch.

She did, however, ask if she could use the restroom. Since she drove all day from appt to appt, she didn't have a bathroom to use regularly. She normally had to stop at a gas station or whatever so our bathroom was the one "nice" one she got to use.

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#19 of 25 Old 05-30-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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I provide services in people's homes, and for the most part I am not offered and do not expect anything.  I work in the city, and sometimes if it's ridiculously hot and I've walked a couple blocks from the nearest parking space, I've had people say "Oh, it's so hot, would you like a glass of water?", and I had one kid who preferred to work at a table in his backyard, and when it was hot his mom would bring us both water, but I wouldn't expect anything more than that. 

 

I did have one parent who, on the first day, showed me where the bathroom was and asked me to please wash my hands each time I came.  I loved that, partially because it kept the child safe, but also because it gave me a gracious way to use their restroom when I was running between clients. 

 

ETA:  The work I do in people's homes is a side job, and I'm self employed so there are no "rules" for me about accepting stuff.  EI may have rules, I don't know.

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#20 of 25 Old 05-30-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leighmars26 View Post

Don't. Most aren't ethically allowed to accept. From that perspective, I get very uncomfortable if a family keeps insisting I have something to drink, eat, a gift, etc. as it is unethical to accept, but having to repeatedly say no makes me feel rude. If it's a hot day and they're outside running with your child, maybe water if you really feel the need, but usually we're prepared with our own.



Really? That kind of sad. Like a cup of coffee or a cookie, a simple kindness, could be construed as offering a bribe or accepting favours. I always offer. And, like most other offerers, am usually turned down. But it just seems polite to me. 

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#21 of 25 Old 05-31-2011, 03:28 PM
 
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I live in California.  My son's child development therapist told me that her agency prohibits her from eating/drinking anything offered.  Agency workers were also not allowed to use the restroom in the home.  I think it's sad, too, but I understand the logic behind it I guess.

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#22 of 25 Old 06-05-2011, 06:20 PM
 
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We had services in our home for three years, and never offered anyone anything. I feel like a jerk now. crap.gif I did clean the bathroom tho. 

 

Having said that, I did occasionally pick up this or that from yard sales or the like if I knew our OT was looking for something, and I did send our PT flowers because we were so grateful for what she did for our son. 

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#23 of 25 Old 06-05-2011, 07:29 PM
 
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We had services in our home for three years, and never offered anyone anything. I feel like a jerk now. crap.gif I did clean the bathroom tho

 

Having said that, I did occasionally pick up this or that from yard sales or the like if I knew our OT was looking for something, and I did send our PT flowers because we were so grateful for what she did for our son. 


lol.gif That cracked me up! (the cleaning the bathroom that is!) And honestly, I'm sure whoever was your service provider did appreciate it. Not everyone cleans their bathroom! I've been told over and over again by people who do OT and such, that just knowing they are appreciated is huge! I think the things you did were incredibly thoughtful! Son't beat yourself up!

 
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#24 of 25 Old 06-07-2011, 04:10 PM
 
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I've also found they politely decline each time, so I've stopped offering. I think some have been trained to decline and, honestly, one worker said she is accustomed to visiting extremely low-income and unkempt homes where she wouldn't want to even use the bathroom (this was a foster worker who visits homes before a child is removed for neglect, so it's a different story). One worker would say yes if my daughters offered a cookie they had helped make because she seemed to know it made them feel good. She always said she would eat it in the car on her way home.

 


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#25 of 25 Old 06-09-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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I've worked in EI and had them in my house with my son.  When I worked there, I was rarely offered anything with the exception of some of my families who for cultural reasons were really insistent on feeding me.  We were always told by our agency that it was a strict no-no.  It actually made me uncomfortable in some situations to have to say no.  Now that I have them at my house, I never offer.  I assume they're given similar "rules" by their agencies and don't expect it.  I didn't clean my bathroom either ;).  We were also told not to use client's bathrooms so I never did.  I would have felt weird about that anyhow for the most part. 

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