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Special Needs Parenting > vent
crunchy_mommy's Avatar crunchy_mommy 07:52 PM 11-20-2011
I'm not sure this belongs in Special Needs but it doesn't fit anywhere else & I really need to vent (and maybe get some advice??)

I just don't know what to do with DS. He'll be 3 in a couple of months. I can only classify him as 'high needs' -- nothing else quite fits. We just stopped receiving Early Intervention services (EI therapist & OT) because they don't know what else to do for him and he has no measurable delays (he's ahead in most areas) but they agree that he's... different. He has made a lot of progress over the past 6 months & is much more social and also able to tolerate 1 minute away from me now but I feel like we are still really struggling. EI recommended a consult with a child psychologist or something, and we're looking into that but I'm not holding out much hope. I really don't know what to do with him.

He needs constant stimulation & constant social contact (preferably with me, but he'll sometimes accept DH). It's hard to play with him and it's hard to do other activities with him too. He'll be excited to try something but then won't stick with it for more than a minute. He seems to enjoy fine motor activities most, so I've been trying lots of things with him, but -- say I give him beads to string, he'll string 2 of them and then say, "You do the rest," and it's really hard to get him to finish. It's not that he's distracted though, he just doesn't want to do it. Same thing with practically everything else, whether it's puzzles or taking a walk outside or whatever. I don't know if he's bored or overwhelmed or what. He doesn't want to run around or dance or play or anything. He rarely plays on his own... he's into cars a bit at least, he likes lining them up, pretty much he's obsessed with cars and driving. Other than that, the only things he really loves to do are listen to music and have us read to him for hours and hours and hours. But he's so much better when we're out (usually, though often he'll just sit in my lap for an hour or two and hang out with the adults).... I don't know. I'm not sure why I'm posting all this, I just need to vent I guess. I'm tired of him being miserable and I'm frustrated & out of ideas.

We are having toilet-training issues and he intentionally pees on the floor. And his anxiety is through the roof. He is scared of everything and I'm always on edge that something or someone will scare him. He's scared of noises, toys, decorations, animals, he's even scared of DH. He cries and frantically clings to me about 3 million times a day because something scared him. He runs screaming from DH if he so much as tries to put on his socks or something. He is working on his last molar but it's taking weeks to come all the way in so I'm hoping things will improve a little once that tooth is through but I'm worried that won't help. I don't know what else to do, no one can help and no one seems to have dealt with a kid like DS, I feel really alone. greensad.gif

Emmeline II's Avatar Emmeline II 08:13 AM 11-21-2011

I would look for a clinic like this in your area; EI is limited in what they can do diagnostically and may just not have the right tools to understand how to help your ds. But he did make progress smile.gif so I'd try to continue those services privately while you investigate other providers/treatments.    






crunchy_mommy's Avatar crunchy_mommy 08:44 AM 11-23-2011
I think that is similar to the place I want to bring DS. They don't have a very good website though so I can't tell for sure. Unfortunately we have insurance issues... none of this would be covered (whereas EI was free) so I'm hesitant. If I knew without a doubt it would help him somehow, I'd definitely do it no matter what the cost, but I don't want to go into debt over useless appointments and therapies.

I won't say EI wasn't helpful, but I think it was more helpful in supporting me and DH (and... getting DH to finally listen to my suggestions, since they were now coming from someone else!!) I think the majority of DS's improvement just happened to coincide with EI, not really due to it, so I'm not sure continuing those services privately makes sense for him.

If DH manages to find a job then we should have decent health insurance and be able to pursue options more aggressively... I will at least contact the clinic and find out more about costs & services, see whether we can swing it & if it might help! I just feel so discouraged...