Need help with school issues! eek =[ - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 04-12-2012, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
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Having some issues with the school so i felt it was time to write a letter to the principal. I hope you guys could take a look and tell me how it looks or if you have gone through this also!




Mrs. ****
I am writing you to inform you of some problems we are having with our child’s teach Mrs. ***. I feel my son ***** needs removed from this classroom asap. We were willing to wait for the end of school but events have made us change our mind. Either way *** will no longer be attending ***** elementary in the fall 2012/2013 school year. I will be listing our issues below so you can have a better understanding of what is going on. 
1) A few weeks ago our son got off the bus chewing on his backpack string and crying for food. As we were hugging him we noticed his belly growling and could tell he was EXTREAMLY hungry. I am not confident he is being fed every day while at ***** elementary.
2) We have noticed he is not making that much progress at school but has been picking up learning things from us at home. We are not 100 percent sure he is getting the learning experience he deserves.
3) While out for a 2 day dental procedure a school worker was called by the teacher. The school worker told us they did not have our contact information so they needed her to come and check us out. I find that hard to believe because of the call we got the next day about our son having problems. She also told us the caller had told her our daughter (who is not even a ***** elementary student ) was very disabled and was a mute. These allegations are not true **** has anxiety and is not a mute and is NOT severely disabled. Talking about my daughters medical history, you have not met will not be tolerated with me.
4) **** cries in the morning and says to us “No school” if only I would have listened sooner.
5) My last straw was today when the teacher called me and threatened to suspend my son for being upset over a sore on his foot. This is extremely disappointing and after letting all the other issues go and try to stick it out I realized this school is failing my son and his education. Later that day a DCF worker came over after we had been reported the allegations were “*** has a blister on his foot and his feet are dirty, **** comes to school dirty” After looking at his foot and the house she agreed it was not a blister but a rub because of how he drags is right foot due to his CP. She also said she met with all the kids and none looked dirty and had no cause for concern. The also told her he baths every other night and that we check him every morning. We did discus how he has been wearing sandals and dirt can get on his feet but was still not a problem. She talked with us about how things seemed extreme and we were talking about other schools we can send **** to. She commented on how nice all our kids were dressed up and she said **** “Did not look dirty and of corse his foot will be dirty he is a 9 year old boy” The case worker was told **** did not talk but soon realized he does talk very much at home and has a big vocabulary for him but his true potential is not being reached in the classroom. I can understand calling dcf for a real issue but this sort of thing could be taken up directly with me however I am glad they were called because After talking to her reinforced that this situation is not right and **** needs to be removed from this classroom for the remainder of the school year or released from ***** elementary
The one thing I wish is I would have not let things go on for so long. I feel guilty for making my son go through this. I do appreciate your help in working to resolved what is wrong and please know we hold no bad feeling towards ***** as a school but we do need to do what is best for our son.
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#2 of 8 Old 04-12-2012, 08:58 PM
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Does your child have a diagnosis? Does he have a IEP or 504? Are those being followed?


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 8 Old 04-13-2012, 07:02 AM
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I was wondering that as well.


If you have him registered at another school for next year I would start the school evaluation/IEP process as soon as possible before school lets out.


I recommended reading "Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy"; the information from the book can be found on their site as well (Table of Contents). Reading "Wrightslaw: Special Education Law, 2nd Edition," would be a good idea as well). This book also has advice and examples on writing this type of letter.



Under IDEA/IEP, if your child has a disability that adversely affects educational performance, your child is entitled to an education that is designed to meet the child's unique needs and from which your child receives educational benefit.


A 504 is helping your child get the same education that everyone else is getting--more for a student that needs accommodations to help them learn (like sitting next to the teacher) or for behavior, and that they are not punished for things that they cannot control due to the ADHD (like needing to work standing up or not sit inside a group).


[A IEP or 504 is not an escalation or punishment for the teacher/school. It's more about getting all appropriate parties involved and on the same page. The student, parent/legal guardian, teachers, principals, Pupil Services administrators, support staff (i.e. nurse, counselor, psychologist, language/speech pathologist) as well as the student's physician or therapist may be involved in the placement process including the 504 meeting.]

Eligibility under IDEA for Other Health Impaired Children

Key Differences Between Section 504, the ADA, and the IDEA.



If you decide to request the school do education/learning disability testing, you need to "start the clock" in your letter of request; the school has 60 days from the date they received parental consent for evaluation to do one; your written request should note that this letter is the consent for evaluation. (And, if you did not do it in writing, it never happened!).

Determining Eligibility: How Many Days is 60 Days? - Wrightslaw

The Art of Writing Letters by Pam and Pete Wright - Advocacy ...


Key Differences Between Section 504 and IDEA



"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#4 of 8 Old 04-16-2012, 01:49 PM
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If your child is over a specific age (usually six), you can not legally pull the child out of school, no matter how many problems you are having with the school, until you get him/her enrolled in another school, otherwise they can go after you for child neglect (neglecting educational needs) and right now it seems like this teacher just might do that.  You could also be charged for "failure to send" in juvenile court for not sending him to school.


If you really do not want him to go back, ASAP write out the papers to do home schooling, or contact an on-line school and get enrolled before pulling your child(ren) out of school.

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#5 of 8 Old 04-16-2012, 05:02 PM
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This breaks my heart.  What worries me more is what methods of discipline was used at the school that the child us unable to speak about?  I know of a non-verbal child who was secluded at school for several days for picking his nose and, at the time, the school was not legally required to notify the parents.  Son also indicated that he did not want to return to school.  They eventually pulled him out and began homeschooling him.


I am interested too on whether he has an IEP or 504 plan.



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#6 of 8 Old 04-18-2012, 03:59 PM
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So sorry to hear about this mama.  Hope it gets resolved.

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#7 of 8 Old 04-22-2012, 08:04 AM
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You need to check your state laws.  Some states say you need 2 weeks notice to pull your child, others say differently.  I would find out and give notice.  I would also ask for evaluation, in writing, if you haven't done that already. 


lastly, I would attend school with my child for the last few days he is attending.  If they have a fit, just let them know that as a parent, you are allowed to observe your child in the classroom.

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They're not typos. . . I can't spell!
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#8 of 8 Old 04-25-2012, 09:53 AM
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OK, I want to start be saying that when we feel our children are not getting what they need, we tend to go all mama bear on them, and that is totally OK.  However, In this instance, I do not think that this letter will get you what you want.  There are a couple of issues I would like to have clarified, since I am not sure if your child is in a special ed classroom, or if he is mainstreamed.


1.  Not Eating - Do you have an IEP in place that has someone supervise his meals and offer snacks?  If not, you need to add this.  I have had my non-delayed child come home from school hungery because he only ate the graped out of his lunch.  He said he was not hungray at the time (they eat at 11 am), but by 4 pm he was starving.  If you do not have meal times in the IEP, the staff do not watch the children to see what all they eat.


2.  Moving your son out of the class - This is a reasonable request, but you need to only list problems concerning his teacher (the sore foot, not learning, etc)


3.  Next year - I would not state you will be pulling the child out next year.  If they know you are leaving, they have no reson to move your son or create any more work for themselves.


I would send the letter to the principal (and the special ed dept), and discuss those 3 things only.  I would also formally request an ARD.


I am afraid I do not understand the issue with the school worker, if she called you she clearly had your contact info, so what did she mean by check you out?


Finally, although the call to DCF was spurious, there is really no use complaining about it (and it kills me to say that).  Teachers are bound to report any SUSPICION of abuse or neglect.  It is very hard to prove someone did not have a cause for suspicion.  I have a neighbor who's child goes to private school and has been reported on more than on occasion for scabby knees and bruised shins.  It takes DCF to tell the teacher that their findings are spurious.


Focus on what is most imporatant, getting your child in a new class.

Wife to M , Mommy to DS aka Captain Obvious  (06/06) and DD aka Lissalot  (03/09, anoxic brain injury)
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