I'm on my last straw with my 5 yr old DS who has aspergers. He litterally all day long is trying to chase and push his 2yr old sibling down. He is destroying the house, will take a stack of books and through them across the room, then laugh about it, I can't leave him unatteneted for a second or he his trying to run the dog over with his bike (intentionally) Its constantly intentionally trying to hurt or destory something. I have been putting him in his room for a break to "get centered" he laughs thinks everything is a joke, he will go right back to being crazy or it will through him into a 2 hour raging meltdown where he is clawing me, bititng me he is 55lbs and Its getting rough to restrain him. I have NO control in this house he is running my entire life. He has no motivation to do anything, I try to set him up with activiteis or even heavy work activites and he just has no motivation. He contstanly wants to be destructive or hurting something. We are on the waiting list to get some help with a therpist but its a 16 month wait. What on earth am I suppose to do with him? Any ideas? Thanks
I am not certain. It sounds like a lot for you. Are you alone with him? Is there someone who could also trade off duties with you when he is melting down? Is there a medical school in your area? Maybe they would also offer a program that could assist you. Also is there a family or children's organization in your area that also offers services?
I have no idea if this will work, but try the Bach's Rescue Remedy Pastilles. I know they helped to calm my dd down at a very pivotal point in her life.
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What are his interests? It sounds like he needs a lot of redirecting, which is exhausting for you, but will help. My son is similar. I find that he gets into the destructive rampages when he is bored, stressed, doesn't feel well, or is agitated in some way. Helping him to redirect his energy is what snaps him out of it. Taking a long walk, getting him focused on something (for him, it would be taking apart an electronic object, building some kind of contraption, playing with water, etc).
I sympathize. It's very strange when they do nasty things and then smile about it. When I saw this trait in my son at a very early age, it scared me a little. He still does it, but it's manageable. I think the actions come from a feeling of agitation or sensory overload within him. He is 7 now and in first grade. I'm about to try eliminating some foods to see if that helps.
I'm also curious to see what other responses you get to your question.
Sorry I don't have much advice, but I am in almost the same situation. Today was a really bad day. I hope you get some good advice.
Same here, and it is very tough to be constantly redirecting especially with a little one. I also find that he goes on his rampages when I am paying attention to anyone except him. Especially his little brother (8 months).
I think the actions come from a feeling of agitation or sensory overload within him.
I agree with this as well. And this week has been terrible for us.
DS laughs too. I think he likes to get the emotion out of me. When he does something and gets the attention (however negative) he's been craving. Its like a game to him. A game to play because he is bored and it seems he gets a rise out of making people react.
He is also very very sensitive. He will listen to me say "please don't do that" a million times and laugh but once I start getting mean he will immediately start crying and saying that I hurt his feelings. I find it very hard on his self esteem.
Wife to - Mama to DS 6/08 and DS 9/11
I've been there. Though by 5yo the whirlwind of destruction was happening mostly at school--I still had the attitude and marathon tantrums at home. Kindergarten was horrible, horrible, horrible .
Is Asperger's the only diagnosis? I ask because ds' first diagnosis (shortly before K) was ADHD-Combined w/disturbance of emotion and conduct. Six months later he had a hospital evaluation and was determined to be on the boarderline for Aspergers (due to his age and co-morbid conditions); this year his school eval found he qualified as Autistic under IDEA and we are still trying to get a follow-up with his developmental ped. We started him on Concerta for the ADHD which resulted in a huge improvement in his behavior overall, but after a couple of months his impulsivity and aggression became worse. We switched to Vyvanse which worked better for him, but he didn't demonstrate much improvement in behavior therapy until we raised the dosage for the Vyvanse; his therapist noted a sudden improvement and I realized that the improvement coincided with the dosage change. His teacher worked with ds on developing empathy and he made some improvement in this area by the end of 1st grade. Now, he is a fairly typical 2nd grader - his behavior issues this year are "peanuts" compared to Kindergaren, or even first grade.
I don't know what type of therapist you are waiting on but you may want to consider OT (I guessing there are sensory issues going on) and ST; there are several facilities in my city that offer OT and ST and have various OT equipment.
Hi, that brings back memories of my son when he was 2 1/2 and I had a new baby. He was reckless, dangerous, willful and I was terrified of him! Me an adult! Is your son on any meds at present? I found something my son was on at the time called Singulair nasal spray ended up giving my son horrific side effects. It was in sheer desperation one night at 2 am I found a parents forum in US about this med and the side effects their kids were suffering. They could have been talking about my son. After 9 days of withdrawl symptoms, the horrific behaviour disappeared and he bacame more maneagable.
If he isnt on meds-is he reacting to his internal environment? Is he better outdoors, somewhere else? Try to detach yourself and brainstorm x
We are on the GAPS Diet have been almost a year now. he has been off all supplements for 2 months, but I'm begining to think the supplements were making a difference, they are just so darn expensive.
What else could be going on?
We just went and saw our ped this week, and he was so disconnected in the appointment that she thinks he was misdiagnoised and he has autism, not Aspergers and not nearly as high functioniong as our psych report says she also said something about sensory processing disorder, and she is pushing to have him medicatied because he is so out of control. I have no idea what is happening I thought things were ok and I feel like in the past three weeks we have regressed worse than where we were before. The only changes is I recently went back to work part -time but he is home with dad, we are also purging a ton stuff in preparation for a big move so its a little chatic in the house. But that and the lack of supplements are the only things that have changed.
Any Ideas? and what do I with him all day, what do we do when I can't get him to focus on anything. I can't get him to connect.
Sounds like quite a bit of tension in your household and a lot of change. Add that to the removing of supplements and that's a recipe for disaster. :(
I might try going back to the supplements for a month before caving to medicate (but I'm not particularly pro-med so that that for what it's worth)
Hugs, mama. I remember 4yo with my Aspie. It had me looking at Reactive Attachment Disorder books.
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