Any other ADHD families out there? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 16 Old 07-23-2012, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
Oliver'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hello, I'm new to the SNP forum, but have been on mothering for awhile, so I thought I'd introduce myself.  My husband and I both have ADHD, and DS1 was just diagnosed with ADHD, SPD and general anxiety disorder.  We suspect our DS2 is also ADHD, but he just turned 2. 

 

Are there any other families out there where everyone has ADHD?  DH and I have a really great relationship, but we do frequently make impulsive decisions together, forget to pay bills, etc.  Also, we all have a really hard time making and keeping friends.  DH is currently on adderall, which helps him a lot, and we're planning on treating DS1 through diet and environment before we seek out meds.  I feel like I could really use the help meds would offer, but I'm still nursing DS2 and I have no insurance.

 

I don't know where I'm going with all of this...having a hard time gathering my thoughts.  Just thought I see what other people's experiences are.  Most days I feel pretty overwhelmed and lonely with my kids, and my own issues.  Play dates usually end in meltdowns or me putting my foot in my mouth.

 

Let's share our ADHD family experiences here!


Enjoying life with DH since 05/04 and our two boys Oliver 02/07 and Theodore 07/10 
        
Oliver'sMom is offline  
#2 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 04:53 AM
 
SpottedFoxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Philadelphia Area
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi!  I have ADHD, my husband has ADHD as does our son (7).  DH takes adderal, DS and I both take vyvanse.  


Walking to raise money for Apraxia - feel free to join me if you are in the area or donate http://www.apraxia-kids.org/southjerseywalk/juliefoxx
SpottedFoxx is offline  
#3 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 06:01 AM
 
BlueStateMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New England
Posts: 3,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi!!wave.gif I'm on Adderall and my son (almost 9) just got his Concerta dose doubled this summer (decline at the end of the school year - we initiated an IEP process for his with 2 weeks to go and the team was amazing - signed to final plan earlier in the month)  My daughter (7) shows no signs and I thik my DH may just be flaky and lock his brain in the desk drawer when he leaves the officewink1.gif


Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.

 

BlueStateMama is offline  
#4 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 07:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
Oliver'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi all!  Thanks for the response!  Ds1 starts kindergarten in the fall and his school said we'll have to wait and see how he does in class before they can see what help they can offer him.  Preschool was a disaster (three different preschools)...we also tried homeschooling/unschooling this last semester which didn't go too well either with my lack of organizational skills. 

 

I'm really thankful actually that dh and I have adhd and have therefore been able to recognize the signs early on with ds1 (and probably ds2).

 

What treatments have you found most helpful in your family?  Dh and ds1 both receive behavioral therapy, and ds1 also has OT.  I've done really well with therapy and meds in the past.  I've found some free local adhd support groups through our local hospital that I want to give a try.


Enjoying life with DH since 05/04 and our two boys Oliver 02/07 and Theodore 07/10 
        
Oliver'sMom is offline  
#5 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 08:54 AM
 
SpottedFoxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Philadelphia Area
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Removing food dyes from my son's diet has been a huge help as have the meds.  We waited until 1st grade to do the medication (because we wanted to be 100% sure (or as close to that as possible) that his diagnosis was correct.  The medication made a HUGE impact in his quality of life and education.   

 

Therapeutic riding has been the best investment and therapy we have done to date.  He loves animals so it seemed like a natural fit and we were right.  He rides beautiful and has learned impulse control and better self management through riding.  We also had him enrolled in a social skills program based on legos - they have a "franchised" program called bricks for kidz that may be in your area.  http://www.bricks4kidz.com/  


Walking to raise money for Apraxia - feel free to join me if you are in the area or donate http://www.apraxia-kids.org/southjerseywalk/juliefoxx
SpottedFoxx is offline  
#6 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 11:07 AM
 
dlarbus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 4
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

hi everyone, i have posted from time to time in these forums but it's been awhile.  i came today looking for support and guidance for adhd -- my DS is about to turn 6 and has been diagnosed ADHD, primarily inattentive, and also ODD.  his therapist is also going to start testing for what she suspects is a language processing disorder.  he's very bright, energetic, sweet and affectionate, but definitely stubborn and with a mind of his own.  he also has trouble completing tasks, is easily distractible (i'm with him on that one -- and i'm like, hey, show me the person who isn't!) , etc. etc.  he will begin first grade in sept.  he's not on meds and i am trying hard to find alternative treatments that might help before we go to meds -- i'm not as anti-med as i used to be, but i don't want to go there unless there's no other option.  he's already been on a gluten-free diet for a year (more below) and i can definitely tell when he's had wheat -- he's not allergic, but he is sensitive, and responds by being irritable and antsy when he eats wheat foods.

 

my partner's DD is 12 and has profound ADHD, ODD and also some serious LDs and other psycho-social issues (she was adopted at birth, diagnosed a few years ago as FAS, so there's a whole buffet of associated issues and disorders).  i find her in some ways easier to deal with -- she can be more cooperative and understands why some things just have to be, like the need to wear pants in public (*eyeroll* that's a daily battle here with my little one).  she can also be really nasty, cruel, bad-tempered, critical, harsh toward my kids -- all of which i try to understand as sympathetically as i am able (i know a lot of this is beyond her control) while enforcing good boundaries, appropriate consequences, etc.  she also has incredible episodes where she just utterly melts down -- throws/breaks things, screams obscenities, tries to hurt herself.  fortunately these haven't yet occurred in front of my two children; she seems to have these only when she's been working overtime at keeping herself together and then is in a safe place (home, with her mom, or her dad and me (soon to be step mom!).  being overtired, overstimulated, etc also definitely contribute.  she is on ritalin for school, and it makes a huge difference in her ability to focus.  she's also prone to a pronounced rebound effect, late in the afternoon, once the meds wear off.  i would love to find a way to adjust or change her prescription to help with this, because the rebound is so hard on her.

 

the challenge i have with both kids is undermining exes.  at their other parents' houses, both kids get few limits -- no bedtime is enforced, for example.  my DS's dad has him 40% of the time and refuses to follow the gluten free diet because it's "inconvenient".  he may or may not give whatever supplements i provide; usually not.  i don't want to put a 5 year old in the middle of this power struggle so i just have to let it go.  my DSD (is that right?  is there an acronym for stepdaughter to be? :-) ) is very anti-medication and actively campaigns to her daughter about how taking meds will stunt her growth and she can focus just fine on her own, etc (demonstrably untrue since she just flunked sixth grade).  the mom is basically refusing to admit there's a problem -- it's something she'll grow out of, or she just needs to try a little harder. it's a little bit maddening because both of their "other parents" reject and undermine pretty much anything we try to do to help with the adhd, including simple things like making sure the kids get enough rest.  and then despite saying no to therapies or whatever, they have no alternative suggestions. 

 

ok, whew, rant over, thanks i feel better!  i'm here to do what i can for them, in every way possible.  we're doing fish oil and trying to figure out how to add the minerals (zinc & magnesium) that adhd kids tend to be deficient in.  i'm very interested in everyone else's experiences have been, what you've tried, etc.  for example, i'm curious about accupuncture.

 

glad to be here.  let's talk!
 

cheers,

michelle

dlarbus is offline  
#7 of 16 Old 07-24-2012, 11:58 PM
 
Triniity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

we are a full blown adhd family, DH diagnosed, will start Ritalin soon (as soon as he manages to actually see the doctor  uhoh3.gif )  

 

DS and DD both diagnosed just started OT last week and are on summer holidays now, which leaves me, undiagnosed but waiting for an appointment plus a highly active high need DD2. 

 

And I am totally at my limit - I don't know how to survive the three weeks holiday with the kids - we live pretty rurally and there are no summer programs that would take both kids in. And the ones that would take DD are soo far away. 

 

I am so overwhelmed that I am not really able to pull a summer program out of my own. don't know what to do about it...


Trin with DH , DD(7)  and DS(5) ,  DD(2) ,
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
Triniity is online now  
#8 of 16 Old 07-25-2012, 11:57 PM
 
heatherdeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Everywhere... thanks, technology!
Posts: 4,888
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

We are an ADHD family, too.  We just got dh off of a decade of various meds (that included Adderall, Ritalin, a short stint on Daytrana patch and several years on Vyvanse) using intensive dosing of fish oil.  It's been a few months now and we're really happy with it.  Ds is 8yo and it's kind of hard to tell where he is.  Since he's now 8, we will look harder at it being bona fide ADHD and not something he'll grow out of.  He didn't respond to Feingold for the ADHD although both he and I had reactions to salicylates--so we are now free of those (among other things--I think they're in my sig).

 

I have the "works best when overwhelmed" variety of ADD but I think mine must be milder than normal because I've never been medicated for it and I'm finding that I don't overwhelm myself to be productive like I've had to do most of my life (where I have occasionally overwhelmed myself right into a workman's comp leave of absence from my prior career and/or totally dropped everything under the weight of the amount of crap I took on yikes2.gif).  I don't know.  Maybe it's just in some sort of remission.  I'm just glad it's not like that anymore because it was pretty disruptive.  I was the ocd-organized type where dh and ds are the "holy heck--how do you find the floor in this mess" type.

 

So with my subsiding symptoms and dh being functional 24/7 rather than when meds are in effect, we're just coping with ds.  He's definitely a challenge.  We're working our way through the list of alternatives.

 

dlarbus, here are some things you can try to rule out before getting a diagnoses (that present like ADHD):  

 

http://www.heatherdegeorge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/HC_Gimme5-ADHD-Rule-Out-1.pdf

 

And here are the first few things you can try to handle it without meds:

 

http://www.heatherdegeorge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/HC_Gimme5-ADHD-Management.pdf

 

The second link refers to some additional supplements in the last point and top of that list would be magnesium.  Hope this helps.


Heather - Wife , Mommy  & Health & Wellness Educator, Speaker & Consultant 
 
Dairy, soy & corn free with limited gluten... yes, really. And journeying towards peace.  Blogging about both.
 
Let me guide you to find the food and lifestyle choices...
heatherdeg is offline  
#9 of 16 Old 07-26-2012, 06:13 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Triniity View Post

And I am totally at my limit - I don't know how to survive the three weeks holiday with the kids - we live pretty rurally and there are no summer programs that would take both kids in. And the ones that would take DD are soo far away. 

 

I am so overwhelmed that I am not really able to pull a summer program out of my own. don't know what to do about it...

 

When ds' ADHD was at it's worst (before diagnosis) we moved into a newly built house. From that day I insisted to dh that we needed a playgym w/swings in the yard ASAP to maintain my sanity. It was kind of like a "barn raising" where dh's parents and his sister/children/dh came over and they guys built it in a day. I was able to put the children in the fenced yard (gates locked) and watch from the windows; fortunately it wasn't summer then because I'm in TX. Another good occupier is a water table (or a sand table filled with water), they would play for hours with it; sprinklers are great too. My children also love playdoh and have a lot of playdoh toys but ds compulsively eats it so I haven't had it out for awhile. We also keep waking/sleep times within an hour of what we do when school is in session; part of it is for us so we can have some quite time in the evening, part of it is keeping structure for them, and part of it is giving ds' medication early enough that it won't affect his sleep.

 

This summer has been busy. I kept them in their "after school" activities for the summer (gymnastics for ds and dance for dd). Ds has math tutoring twice a week, and had a social skills class for 6 weeks for an hour, then they've both had swim lessons this month. I also take them to our community pool 3x's a week; nothing like a pool to keep children happy.


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#10 of 16 Old 07-26-2012, 06:26 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:

Oliver'sMom

I don't know where I'm going with all of this...having a hard time gathering my thoughts.  Just thought I see what other people's experiences are.  Most days I feel pretty overwhelmed and lonely with my kids, and my own issues.  Play dates usually end in meltdowns or me putting my foot in my mouth.

 

My ds was diagnosed first and I followed him a year later once I had his situation stable; we are both on Vyvanse. My biggest stressor was handling ds and dealing with him in school; this has improved greatly over the past couple years with him on medication and therapy. My starting on medication helped as well; weaning my second did a number on my ADHD coping skills and I was getting worn out by all the starbucks I was drinking.

 

Additude magazine has an e-mail newsletter that I think goes out weekly that may help. I also have another forum that has boards for parents of, and adults with ADHD that I will pm you.

 

ADDitude


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#11 of 16 Old 07-26-2012, 06:27 AM
 
Triniity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'd love to take them to a pool but i am so paranoid about ds who has no impulse control. he already jumped into a pool once which was nno big deal because dh jumped right after him, but me and the baby ? 


Trin with DH , DD(7)  and DS(5) ,  DD(2) ,
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
Triniity is online now  
#12 of 16 Old 07-26-2012, 06:48 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Triniity View Post

I'd love to take them to a pool but i am so paranoid about ds who has no impulse control. he already jumped into a pool once which was nno big deal because dh jumped right after him, but me and the baby ? 

 

They both had the bathing suits with the floats built in; I would be in the pool with dd and ds could jump in and swim around me fine with his suit.


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#13 of 16 Old 08-19-2012, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
Oliver'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for the resource, Emmeline!

 

Pools are a favorite for all of us as well.  Exercise seems to be our best medicine for sure.  I run everyday with our high energy dog, dh does yoga and karate, and both boys love to swim and play basketball.

 

All of us really need a ton of structure and routine or else things spiral out of control pretty quickly.  We enrolled ds1 in public kindergarten mostly for this reason.  I'm hoping that with some specialized help, ds1 will thrive.  We'll see.


Enjoying life with DH since 05/04 and our two boys Oliver 02/07 and Theodore 07/10 
        
Oliver'sMom is offline  
#14 of 16 Old 08-22-2012, 02:36 PM
 
lilempressmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Antioch, CA
Posts: 63
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We're also a ADHD family; DH was diagnosed in college and we got a "strong indicators" for our 4 year old. They have the hyperactive portion badly -- DD is a whirlwind and DH is also incapable of sitting (or even sleeping) still; he even bounces his leg in his sleep! We also strongly suspect ADHD (inattentive) in me as I had all the "warning signs" as a kid and rely very heavily on timers, schedules/routines and other things to help keep me focused on the task at hand.


Michelle -- geeky homeschooling mama

lilempressmommy is offline  
#15 of 16 Old 08-27-2012, 05:08 PM
 
andromedajulie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Delaware Valley, PA
Posts: 164
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We are an ADHD family also. My DD age 9 was just diagnosed and is starting a low dose of Daytrana. I was also just diagnosed (after learning about her, and reading Understanding Girls with ADHD) and will be trying Adderall XR. DH has it mildly and takes Daytrana patch also. We have suspicions about our DD, but she is only 2.

 

For a long time I could not understand how we were supposed to follow through with all of the structure and extra help that my special needs daughter requires - understanding why I can't follow through on anything helps! I am hoping that I can get mine under control so that I can help her. I don't know how we are supposed to teach her skills when we completely lack them (focus, follow through on projects, picking up, organizing). It is very overwhelming, a situation that has described my life ever since I had children. I really hope some medications are going to help us.

andromedajulie is offline  
#16 of 16 Old 08-30-2012, 10:25 AM
 
jenni momof4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hello!

I have to say i read ur post and my heart truely goes out to you.  I am a mom of 4, my oldest is 12 and my youngest is 3!  In the middle somewhere is my 8 yr old boy.  When he started preschool i had the same problems as you.  He couldnt focus, get along at all with others, temper tantrums like you've never seen before, and to top it off he never could figure out right from wrong or understand why he would do something repeatedly even though we already told him not to.  he has also confided in me and told me he just felt different on the inside than the rest of the kids.  It broke my heart.  His teachers all said something was wrong with him and I knew it because is father was diagnosed with ADHD!  Because he was so little I didnt want to put him on medication. with the help of his pedi and after alot of research and lifestyle changes of my own we found something that works and I wanted to share it.  We found that putting him on an OMEGA 3 with fish oil (vitamin for kids) and some serious day to day rountines, chores and  schedules so he knew what to expect and when to expect it. He improved dramatically,  he still is a typical boy but he can focus and he get great grades in school, he understands now how to make the "right" choices and does it. temper tantrums are down to what a normal child his age would be doing..  Its been three years since we started it and i'm so glad we did.  He has not had the need for any kind of medicines.  I hope you consider this in your process.  anything is worth the try when it comes to your kids.

jenni momof4 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off