Handling the stress of special needs parenting? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-20-2012, 11:16 PM - Thread Starter
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We are going through a lot right now with my son and I am so stressed out.  It is 2am and I can't sleep bc I am too worried and too busy researching trying to find some way to make his life easier or to somehow fix things.  How do you handle parenting a special needs child when things aren't going well?  In some ways I feel resentful of those with "normal" kids and I know that isn't right.  But I would love for my biggest worry to be which lessons to sign my child up for or what teacher they are getting.  I am too busy worrying about how to keep my child out of the hospital and what kind of future he can even have.  I know everything is relative but I suppose I am having a bit of a pity party right now.  My youngest child also has special needs but we are so busy worrying about our son that we haven't even tried to get her help yet and that is guilt inducing as well.  I have one child who isn't special needs and I can't imagine just having three like her.  Life would be such a breeze.  A family member emailed me that Welcome to Holland poem recently bc of everything that is going on with the kids and while I appreciate the sentiment - I didn't want to go to Holland!  And I don't like it now that I am here! Okay, pity party over for the moment, I'm going to go attempt to sleep aka stare at the wall in the dark until the craziness starts all over again in approximately 5 hours. 

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#2 of 5 Old 08-20-2012, 11:22 PM
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Right there with you with on everything. hug.gif

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#3 of 5 Old 08-21-2012, 10:07 AM
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Yeah, sometimes it is overwhelming.  Then I focus on making it through just that day, sometimes just that hour.  I think eventually we adapt to the stress, because DD is only more complicated now, but I don't feel as overwhelmed as much.

Wife to M , Mommy to DS aka Captain Obvious  (06/06) and DD aka Lissalot  (03/09, anoxic brain injury)
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#4 of 5 Old 08-21-2012, 04:36 PM
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We are in a very easy phase with out SN kiddo but it is still super stressful so I can only imagine how much more yours is :(   Finding even just a small amount of time helps me relax quite a bit.

Cassie, mom to Alex(7), Aidan(5), Andrew(4)

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#5 of 5 Old 08-22-2012, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post

It is 2am and I can't sleep bc I am too worried and too busy researching trying to find some way to make his life easier or to somehow fix things. 


I used to do that too, but it's unlikely you will find "the" solution combing the internet until the wee hours. I find it better to admit that I will not solve anything 'tonight' and do whatever I can to get myself relaxed/rested; like do some yoga (Wai Lana), take a bath, watch some escapist TV, drink some Sleepytime Extra tea, and take a melatoninsmile.gif--leave the search for a solution until the sun is up and you've had some sleep. I've also realized that having some "authorities" available reduces my stress--it feels less that it's all on me; I finally got ds' back with his developmental-ped and found him a new therapist.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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