I am so worried! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 09-22-2012, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everybody, 

 

as I said, I am so worried about DD. She is six, going to school since a couple of weeks, gifted with visual difficulties. Maybe ADD. She is coming home from school now, crying, because the other kids won't play with her. She is very verbal, full of phantasy, but not really good in social situations. She has problems with keeping her distance, hugging kids, coming really close to them, being very loud. 

 

It makes me sooo sad to see her so sad. I want to help her, but I feel totally overwhelmed by now with this particular mixture of problems, I just cannot really figure it out. And I feel that the professionals cannot either ! Her psychologist (the new one) says that she does not have ADHD, because she has no problems with her concentration, and really like to do the tests. 

Her OT says she is totally ADHD and her concentration just crashes after around 10 min, earlier if she is not excited by the things she has to do. This OT has worked in a special ADHD clinic for 15 years. She thinks she can cover it up for some time due to her giftedness.

 

She is so cute, and I love her so much, and I don't want her to get hurt! 

 

I see her in her ballet class, for example, where she goes around pulling girls on their tutus, and they totally don't like it and feel and I tell her later that they don't want her to pull on them or hug them in the middle of the lesson. She gets really ashamed than, which I do not intend at all. But she won't change it. And I don't know how to help her. It just makes me so sad, when she gets home, crying and I cannot do anything about it! 

 

Help?! 

 

x-posted Gifted Child forum


Trin with DH , DD(7) dust.gif and DS(5) jumpers.gif,  DD(2) energy.gifdog2.gifbelly.gif(due 5/14)

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#2 of 5 Old 09-23-2012, 10:36 AM
 
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I'm bumping this up in hopes that someone with similar experiences can share what worked for their child.

 

It sounds like she doesn't have a good sense of personal space and boundaries, and that this is causing her problems. She really wants friends, but doesn't treat the other child in ways that they like. Telling her after the fact isn't currently working because she feels shame. Did I get the high points right?

 

I'm not sure how old kids need to be for a social skills class. My DD was a lot older before we did one, but it was open to kids with ADD as well as high functioning autism. But the social skills class did work on things like respecting other people's space and picking up on non verbal cues.

 

It also sounds like she is a complex kiddo, but hasn't had a complete evaluation to determine if she has ADD (or to rule it out). I can't help but wonder if getting a definitive answer to that question, and then providing treatment if she does have ADD, might lead to her being happier.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 5 Old 09-23-2012, 08:36 PM
 
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Can or have you talked with psychologist  about behavioral therapy?  It help my ds to talk about appropriate social behavior and responses with his psychologist.  It was kind of like social skills class, but also allowed child to talk about specific situations and how to handle, cope, etc.  When ds did this his psychologist would sometimes meet with the family to figure out how things were going and to help us restructure some at home to help support through process.  

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#4 of 5 Old 09-24-2012, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, 

thanks for the replies! 

 

Linda, she is evaluated, it's just not clear cut. Unfortunately. 

 

The first pediatric psychologist we saw said: ADHD, Visual impairment, probably Gifted. 

 

The second one (who I trust more) says: Visual impairment, probably Gifted, high-energy and intense, no ADHD 

 

Her OT says:  Not sure about visual impairment, Gifted, definetly ADHD, lack of social skills.  

 

The OT will put her into a group setting from november, I guess that will be something like a social skill class. 

 

@Melissa, that sounds quite good. I'll talk to the psychologist about that one. 


Trin with DH , DD(7) dust.gif and DS(5) jumpers.gif,  DD(2) energy.gifdog2.gifbelly.gif(due 5/14)

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#5 of 5 Old 09-24-2012, 06:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triniity View Post
It makes me sooo sad to see her so sad. I want to help her, but I feel totally overwhelmed by now with this particular mixture of problems, I just cannot really figure it out. And I feel that the professionals cannot either ! Her psychologist (the new one) says that she does not have ADHD, because she has no problems with her concentration, and really like to do the tests. 

Her OT says she is totally ADHD and her concentration just crashes after around 10 min, earlier if she is not excited by the things she has to do. This OT has worked in a special ADHD clinic for 15 years. She thinks she can cover it up for some time due to her giftedness.

 

An OT can't diagnose ADHD and a psychologist shouldn't (imo) on their own--ADHD doesn't not mean the complete absence of the ability to concentrate and there are several diagnoses with similar symptoms. What evaluations (specifically) has she had? There are particular evaluations tailored to specific age groups that focus on specific areas of development that are generally used.

 

For immediate help I'd look for a speech language pathologist that specializes in social skills (social reciprocity and pragmatics).

 

We had a comprehensive evaluation done at a children's hospital clinic with a developmental-behavioral pediatrician, a speech language pathologist, a psychologist, and a social worker when ds was in first grade which covered a lot of what the school's (eventual) comprehensive evaluation covered.

Schoolwise you can access special education services; special education services also include things like OT and ST, not just academic support. My ds is in third grade now (K, which was pre-diagnosis, was horrible) and 85% of his IEP is social skills support; he meets with the school psychologist (LSSP) in her office and she also spends time in his class to observe and help facilitate appropriate social interaction. When we began preparing ds' IEP I realized how much social skills can impact his ability to function in a school environment.

To get the process going with the school you'll need to submit a letter of request and consent to the school (probably to the principle and resource teacher) for a comprehensive evaluation (take note of all contact with the school regarding this as it will help you ensure they keep to the legal deadlines. My ds was initially labled OHI under IDEA (other health impaired) but after the comprehensive eval was completed he qualified as Autistic under IDEA (chiefly due to his social skills deficits; this is supported by our private eval), the latter label makes him eligible for additional services; you have to give your written consent to using those labels.

I recommended getting a copy of "Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy", the information from the book can be found on their website as well; "Wrightslaw: Special Education Law, 2nd Edition". All About IEPs is also a good book to read at the beginning of the processes. The first book is essentially a step-by-step help guide to dealing with the school and organizing your dc's records; it also has letter samples for things like requesting an evaluation. You can also go to your states dept of ed site and find their "procedural protections" guide for parents regarding special education law.

Under IDEA/IEP, if your child has a disability that adversely affects educational performance, your child is entitled to an education that is designed to meet the child's unique needs and from which your child receives educational benefit.


A 504 (from section 504 of the American's with Disabilities Act) is helping your child get the same education that everyone else is getting--more for a student that needs accommodations to help them learn (like sitting next to the teacher) or for behavior, and that they are not punished for things that they cannot control due to the ADHD (like needing to work standing up or not sit inside a group).


[A IEP or 504 is not an escalation or punishment for the teacher/school. It's more about getting all appropriate parties involved and on the same page. The student, parent/legal guardian, teachers, principals, Pupil Services administrators, support staff (i.e. nurse, counselor, psychologist, language/speech pathologist) as well as the student's physician or therapist may be involved in the placement process including the 504 meeting.]


State Parent Training and Information Center - Education Resource ...


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