Is there an easy way to have child in her 20's and in much trouble who was borderline IQ in school classified? - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 09-30-2012, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
Thurlow22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have a friend  whose daughter is on drugs, has cancer, has several children she cannot care for,is irresponsible and is selling herself for money when a man is not taking care of her.   Her mother is worried sick all the time and feels responsible because the daughter (age 26) will die soon she is afraid.  She was always told in school that she was borderline IQ. Not quite low enough for retardation. Now that she is not in school, is there any way to use those records or get those records - and use them to help by getting guardianship of her? She is calling NAMI and all the agencies top try to do something.   She thinks she is pregnant again and is drunk and using and is not able to take care of herself, even without those hindrances.  What would be the best hope here? 

Thurlow22 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 5 Old 09-30-2012, 03:33 PM
 
LLQ1011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,007
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Have her committed for observation.

LLQ1011 is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 09-30-2012, 05:39 PM
 
mamarhu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: dining at the restaurant at the end of the universe
Posts: 3,072
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)

Besides NAMI, check with the state Department of Developmental Disabilities (at least that is what it is called in my state).

 

The daughter may be eligible for Social Security to help with the cost of her care.

 

But realistically, what services would help in this situation? Guardianship would grant Mom legal control, but would that help anything? Short of a locked-down facility, the daughter would need to buy into any program offered. I have a dear friend with a daughter in almost precisely this situation. The daughter declines all services, because, from her perspective, they would inhibit her freedom. Yes, we all see that she is using her freedom to have unprotected sex with dangerous strangers, abuse drugs, and put herself in all sorts of compromising positions on the streets. She has been robbed and raped several times in the last 6 months. We have found various supported housing situations, community-based therapeutic programs, rehab facilities, and I can't remember what all else. But the daughter refuses to participate. Even a legal guardian could not force her to comply. My friend has decided not to pursue guardianship, at least for now, because she believes it would weaken the relationship she has with her daughter. As it stands, the Mom is the only safe adult in her daughter's life. Jeopardizing that would do more harm than good.

 

I don't mean to totally impose my experience on someone else's. But I think the first question to ask is what solution would remedy the problem; then figure if guardianship is a step in that direction.
 


Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

mamarhu is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 04-27-2013, 11:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
Thurlow22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you for your answer.  I am sorry I took so long answering. I am 65 and was busy getting through my last year of my 2nd B.S.

Do I remember that you sent me the name of a good legal connection in Bangor, Maine for guardianshp issues? I now have another friend- in another situation (different) who needs that kind of attorney- for a son who has mental illness. Iit is a clear-cut case of needing  guardianshiop, but is not all that simple still. He wants her to be guardian, but forgets and says no sometimes. And then the next day he is all upset that she has not done it.  I have lost the name of the attny for this that someone sent me. Was it you?

Thank you.   Sylvia Moose

Thurlow22 is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 04-29-2013, 08:10 AM
 
mamarhu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: dining at the restaurant at the end of the universe
Posts: 3,072
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)

Sorry I am not the one with the lawyer referral. Perhaps someone else here knows?

 

Congratulations on going back to school! I graduated when I was 50, but 65? Wow, I am impressed!
 


Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

mamarhu is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off