special needs inapropiate teen - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 07:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i watch a special needs teen on occasion who i noticed he started to touch himself continuosly like he wanted to masturbate in front of me and he wanted me to sit or be near him  while he was doing it. You can really tell he is developmentally changelled but i never thought i would see something like this on him, to me he is just a child, but his behavior said otherwise. I told the mom and she totally understood but i wonder if i want to watch her son again, m not freaked out but its disturbing to me. what should i do?.

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#2 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 07:54 AM
 
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Do you work for an agency?  If so you could ask your supervisor.


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#3 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 01:06 PM
 
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Did you ask the mother how to handle the situation?


 
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#4 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i dont work for any agency. I'm just a sitter. 

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#5 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didnt, but she told me what to tell him when he is trying to do that, to tell him is not appropiate and that will notified his mom of his behavior. She asked me if i would sit for her again and i said yes, but on the other hand i am lil worried of going back.

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#6 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 07:49 PM
 
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Then I have you have to make up your mind whether you are comfortable enough with the situation to do what the mother is asking you to.  If not, you need to tell her immediately.  It can be a real challenge to get a sitter for a child with special needs, so you need to give her time to look elsewhere if necessary.


 
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#7 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 09:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cinalm1279 View Post

i watch a special needs teen on occasion who i noticed he started to touch himself continuosly like he wanted to masturbate in front of me and he wanted me to sit or be near him  while he was doing it. You can really tell he is developmentally changelled but i never thought i would see something like this on him, to me he is just a child, but his behavior said otherwise. I told the mom and she totally understood but i wonder if i want to watch her son again, m not freaked out but its disturbing to me. what should i do?.

 

 

No matter how young a person seems developmentally....the body is still growing and developing often at a totally typical rate. A special needs teenager is just that...a TEENAGER with special needs. He is still a person with sexual feelings and impulses. Part of your job if you are going to be caring for him is to know how to set firm limits and provide info on what is appropriate. "Johnny, please stop touching yourself, its not something we do in front of others" or some such language...i'd go with his mother's lead on this so you're all on the same page. I used to provide direct care to young adults with special needs and they were FAR from asexual beings...in fact one girl ended up pregnant and having a child. I know when someone seems "childlike" you can forget about this other aspect but its pretty normal.


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#8 of 11 Old 01-02-2013, 10:28 PM
 
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Is there another activity that you can use to help "redirect" his energy? Games he'd enjoy playing? Going on a brisk walk/stroll? Please excuse my ignorance, but, this interesting topic got me stumped too. I also need to surf the Internet for some better suggestions. People who genuinely kind in helping and working with those that have special needs are the BEST people in this world.
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#9 of 11 Old 01-04-2013, 02:22 PM
 
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This is extremely awkward, but very common behavior in adolescents, and you see it in school settings a lot.  Basically the way we (teachers) deal with it when it comes up, is a simple non-emotional verbal reminder "no hands in pants, please", or some kind of redirection, "right now we're doing math", or maybe even "do you need to take a break?"  The important thing is to not make a big deal out of it (or it becomes a bit of a game). 

 

Definitely ask his parents what they do at home (because it probably is happening there too). 

 

It's pretty unlikely that he is doing it to alarm you or to be "creepy", it's just a common human behavior that he needs to learn to enjoy privately.  You'll have to gauge your own comfort level in being a part of that process.

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#10 of 11 Old 01-04-2013, 02:32 PM
 
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When I was 19 I sat for an 11 year old; he did this a lot. My response was, "This isn't the time." I would try to do it in a friendly voice without smiling or looking stern. So upbeat but neutral. Not excited or nervous. That changes the dynamic. 

 

If you practice in front of the mirror it gets easier. :)


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#11 of 11 Old 01-05-2013, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow lol, and im preparing to be a teacher with special needs, but i dont think ill be working with adoslecents, although you never know. ill try the "no hands in pants please" lol

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