Behavioural issues - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-21-2013, 07:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is 3 years, 3 months old and going for an assessment in one month with a developmental pediatrician

I am not 100% sure he is on the spectrum, but his speech is delayed (can use 2 to 3 word sentences spontaneously, and expresses his needs very well, but has a hard time with functional language) although he loves the park, swimming, books and colouring, he doesn't play with toys by himself properly. H is very social with his family but not his peers, his eye contact is only so so,, and he is very

he has been so bad lately!

He bangs on stuff hard like he is drumming (sometimes on me!) constantly goes through drawers, unplugs stuff, tries to remove vents, takes doorknobs off closets, climbs stuff, chases the cat, throws crayons down the vents, screams, yells, demands, freaks out and cries whenever he doesn't get his way. He doesnt full on tantrum, just cries and stomps. It passes quickly. Unless I or his dad are fully engaging him in something, like bubbles, or going to the park, or swimming, colouring, he is a reckless crazy hyper kid to the extreme. It's constant. Im looking for advice! He isn't violent or aggressive, jut hyper!

I have no idea if this is due to his delays or he is just a bratty defiant 3 year old and I was wondering if some of the ASD moms could weigh in discipline approaches. Or anyone?
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#2 of 3 Old 07-21-2013, 08:22 AM
 
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I'm not an ASD mom but I was a teacher with ASD students and am now a mother of a 35 mo boy and your DS's behavior seems pretty normal to me! Some kids (my oldest included) have more energy and curiosity than a typical kid and just need to find a way to let that out. Exploration of their world is very normal for them to do. We have found avenues to channel our DS's energy and tasks and activities that allow him to work and focus. Raising an energetic toddler can be very tough!

Since I don't personally know your child I can't say this for sure but the behaviors you described seem like an average 3 yo's. His speech does seem delayed though, I agree with you there. Hope you get some insight and understanding with the appointment you have set up!
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#3 of 3 Old 07-22-2013, 10:40 AM
 
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The stuff you describe sounds pretty typical for a 3 year old boy. They are active and yes, they can drive you crazy. :-)

 

But they are never "defiant and bratty". A child acting that way needs something, has no idea what that is or how to get it, and is acting on autopilot. 

 

If your child was on the spectrum or had sensory issues, for example (and, other than the speech delay, nothing else you described suggests that) it could be, for example, that he needs noise to feel calm (banging on things, knocking things over). He may be sensory seeking. He may have a need to "fidget" to self-soothe. Or he may just need you and hasn't figured out a better way to get your attention.

 

Tantrums are a normal part of development. Frustration SUCKS. Some adults don't deal well with it, so imagine how hard it is for your son: he can't identify what is going on with his body (think about how your body feels when you get angry or frustrated - now imagine how upsetting that would be if you didn't know what "emotions" were and could not figure out why your body was feeling that way). he doesn't understand the cause of his body feeling this way and he certainly has no idea how to fix it. And of course if he is tired or hungry it makes it worse (ever notice how little things can set us adults off when we are overtired?). Tantrums are when your child needs you the most.

 

And hugs to you: 3 can be a tough age.  :)

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