Denial of child's delays- neglect? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 03-28-2014, 07:17 AM
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In my state, public medical insurance will cover OT, with a referral from the pediatrician, and pre-approval from the payer. Then it will be limited (4 appointments in the next 6 months or whatever). It is never enough, but better than nothing. Finding a provider who can accept the state insurance can also be a challenge...


For what it is worth, I didn't work in the field of special needs kids until YoungSon was well into his teens. For one thing, he couldn't be away from me for years (severe anxiety), but also it was my experience with him, and later as a therapeutic foster parent, that qualifies me for my job, not the other way around. I got a degree online over the years that I was parenting so intensely.


I don't think this thread is really the place to go into it, but someday I will start a discussion about "untherapy". Like unschooling, my boy's life has been 100% child-led. I didn't do therapy, any more than I actively taught history or science. When he met with an obstacle that he wanted to address, we figured out together what we might do about it.


Oh, I really do have to get to work this morning. Another day...

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#32 of 36 Old 03-28-2014, 03:28 PM
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I  would be very interested in hearing more about untherapy....should i start  a thread?

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#33 of 36 Old 03-29-2014, 03:56 PM
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My kids are adopted and will eligible for Medicaid until they are 18. DS received OT for two years to work on sensory and ADHD issues. He went weekly.
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#34 of 36 Old 03-29-2014, 04:28 PM
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My second child was late to talk. She never said a word (other than baby babbling) until she was 2 years 3 months. Not a word. I was starting to get a little concerned but I wasn't overly. In her case it was simply that she didn't need to talk. Her sister never left her side and asked for everything for her. I have a sneaking suspicion she was whispering to her sister but never to us. I wasn't avoiding doing something about it, I was simply waiting until she was two and her sister went to school. I had had her hearing tested and knew that was fine. Once her sister went to school she started talking in complete sentences to us. 

She's 5.5 now and only in the last 8 months has she voluntarily talked so someone she didn't know. She said "Thank you" to the cookie lady in the grocery store the other day and I almost started dancing.

On top of that she had a LOT of behavioural and tantrum issues that surfaced around 1.5 years and lasted until about 4.5 years. We are talking full scale melt downs where I would physically have to hold her so she wouldn't hurt herself. On the outside it may have looked like I wasn't doing anything. But I had seen our family doctor and mentioned our issues and she wasn't concerned overly either. We were aware and we looked into many many many things. However it was just "her". She was always more difficult when we were around other people. Just the other week she threw a fit in the middle of the next town while we were exploring with some friends. To an outsider she can appear autistic, and she's not at all. She's simply stubborn and headstrong. But when she throws a fit where she refuses to talk to anyone (including me, her dad or her sister), she keeps her eyes cast downwards, screatches and screams and physically won't move, it can appear that she has something else going on. 

There's a small chance with her that it's related to a possible food issue. However the major tests are coming back clean at the moment and for various reasons including that she very rarely acts like that any more we are hesitant to "treat" when treatment can be more detrimental in the long run if we are wrong. Depending on my relationship with people many people don't fully know her medical history nor am I apt to just divulge it all, I don't feel everyone is entitled to my child's medical history. My Dr's and I/her dad and her teachers at school are all completely happy with where she is at the moment. But that does not mean that to someone who sees her once in awhile, or had spent some time with her when she was younger and fully in her tantrum phases, is privy to all her medical information nor our concerns at various times regarding her behaviour. 

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#35 of 36 Old 04-14-2014, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by SunshineRocket View Post

This kid lives in two different homes, 3.5 days in each home and attends two different preschools (parents can't even agree on which school he should attend!) he also sees two seperate pediatric doctors.. 


I know it's kinda off subject, but this comment made me very, very sad.  They're literally trying to split this child down the middle.  It does sound like he's possibly on the Autistic spectrum... but his parents' lack of being able to work together is likely to cause some serious issue for the child, if he doesn't have any already.  :(

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#36 of 36 Old 04-15-2014, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by SunshineRocket View Post

I chose to stop socializing with her and her son for a number of reasons, her personality/mood shifts very intensely and quickly and her lack of boundries were probably the biggest reason. She waits around our building for people she knows or DOESN'T know and starts conversations in order to befriend them, then she will leave her child with them in their apartment "just to run and get something from the car" and not come back for an hour or more. She does this to EVERYONE she meets and does it often. She seems extremely overwhelmed with caring for her son, even though she has him 3.5 days per week and he is in preschool all of those days. 

She can be very pushy, knocking on my door and pushing her son in before I've even greeted them and it's impossible for her son to leave without a full-on hour long tantrum. He is a big boy for his age and you cannot pick him up easily when he is kicking, screaming and biting. She knows this is why I no longer allow them in our home- it's a major interuption to our limited family time. Even when he is having a good time, listening to music or looking at a book, he doesn't acknowledge anyone when they speak to him unless it's benefitual to him- like a snack or candy or something.
for some reason no one has really commented on this elaboration of the OPs. This woman is clearly mentally impaired to a degree that is endangering her child. Regularly leaving a barely verbal preschooler for over an hour with random strangers she has met in the street? This is way beyond discussions of "untherapy". This child sounds as if it is in immediate danger, speech therapy or no, and the mothers behaviour needs to be brought up in the court proceedings so the father who is presumably healthy can obtain full custody.
It is possible that some of this childs delays have been created by this toxic situation and he may make unexpected progress once he is removed from it and visits with his mother are supervised.
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