Would you share your daily routines for your ADHD child - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-19-2014, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, 

I am still struggling to set up daily routines with my kids. 

 

I am planning to start a routine/chore system like "accountable kids" - but have to do it myself since shipping to were I live would be horrendous. 

 

I am still not sure how much structure they need. Does it have to be like every minute of the day in structure? How much free time should be offered? How much time should be spend with chores? 

 

It does not make life easier with this everchanging structure that we have right now, due to my pregnancy problems. (had to stay in hospital, my mom was here to help, DH is seriously overwhelmed and not managing his own ADHD well enough...) 

 

Kids come home around 4p.m. - normally they walk the dog (after a huge fight every.single.day) and than have a snack - afterwards playtime until dinner, getting ready for bed, bedtime. 

 

They don't really do chores...I need to change that ...


Trin with DH , DD(7)  and DS(5) ,  DD(2) ,
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
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#2 of 7 Old 02-20-2014, 09:53 PM
 
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Can anyone share?
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#3 of 7 Old 02-26-2014, 09:27 PM
 
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A routine helps all kids! I have one ADHD kid and possibly a 2nd and another that is quite literal. Our schedule:
630 wake up and potty and brush teeth, then get dressed
700 eat breakfast
715 leave for school
230 pick up from school and have a snack
300 I have my 6 yr old on a pooping schedule so he sits on the potty then wink1.gif
315 everyone starts homework
400 outside time
530 dinner time
630 we start baths
715 tv time
745 read bed time story
800 brush teeth then bed

It's not super rigid and sometimes we are off a little bit depending how much whining happens during homework.

Cassie, mom to Alex(7), Aidan(5), Andrew(4)

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#4 of 7 Old 02-28-2014, 11:49 PM
 
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We have found with my daughter that while it's important to have routines, setting up incentives for her to get through particularly difficult parts of the day has been helpful.  

 

Last year, she was always late to school and I was always late to work until I set up a system where if we both were out the door by a specific time for all the remaining school days (I gave her 3 strikes) then she would get  a certain toy she wanted at the end of the year.  It was very effectve.  A cranky, yelling time was transformed into both of us getting our stuff done.  We don't need it this year.  She still wanders off right in the middle of brushing teeth or putting on her shoes, but after some motivated time of doing the routine and getting it down pat, she's much more efficient when she is focused.  

 

My son does not have ADHD, and he does not respond the same way to rewards.  It just seems like the thought of something positive can be like a line my daughter holds onto as she careens through challenging parts of the day.

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#5 of 7 Old 03-04-2014, 06:38 PM
 
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We have a routine, but it is not a rigid structure as much as a framework.  Here is a typical school  day:

7:30 am - wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast

8:15 - out to wait for school bus.  If DS finishes above early, we have outside play while waiting for the bus

4:00 - DS gets home, we immediately go over his day and adjust his privileges ladder accordingly.  Then he gets 30 minutes for snack & play time

4:30 - Homework time - the faster he does it, the more time he gets to play afterward

6:00 - Dinner time, followed by bath time, then more play time

7:30 - Bed time

 

He is limited to 1 hour of screen time a day (if he has that privilege), so if he has time, he usually watched TV after dinner and before bed.  we have a chore chart.  It is a dry erase board, with the chores on stickers.  he has chores he is required to to (empty bathroom trash cans on trash night, sort recycling, pick up his toys), and chores he is paid for.  I do insist he does his "required chores," but I do not force him to do the others.  If he does not do them, he does not get paid.  He marks them off every night on the dry erase board and he gets paid on Sunday.

 

It works well for us, but what works the best for us is prepping him and use of a timer.  So he comes home and I say, "you have 30 minutes to eat a snack and play before we start homework, and then I set the timer for 15 minutes.  then I say, you have 15 minutes left to eat a snack and play, then I give him a 5 minute warning.  While doing homework, I will let him know how much time the assignment should take and where he is.  When he goes to play from homework, I tell him how long until dinner, and give him a 5 minute warning.  I do the same for bedtime after dinner & a bath.  It seems like a lot, but it is habit now.  It keeps meltdowns to a minimum.  He has also learned that if he just gets it over with quickly, he has more play time.


Wife to M , Mommy to DS aka Captain Obvious  (06/06) and DD aka Lissalot  (03/09, anoxic brain injury)
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#6 of 7 Old 03-05-2014, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
 we immediately go over his day and adjust his privileges ladder accordingly

How do you do this? Do you use some kind of program? 

And what do you mean by "pay him for chores" - do you pay actual money or points, and how exactly? 

 

Sounds like a really good approach!

 

@Letitia: 

 

Quote:
 a certain toy she wanted at the end of the year

Did this work well? I mean, it sounds like a bit of a waiting period in between, did she only get this one toy and only at the end of the year, or did you have little "prices" in between?

 

@Cassie: 

 

Thank you, that sounds like a good routine, any tips on staying on them?


Trin with DH , DD(7)  and DS(5) ,  DD(2) ,
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
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#7 of 7 Old 03-12-2014, 07:49 PM
 
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I actually got the idea of a privileges ladder from an article I read on the internet.  I made my own ladder (with numbers and pictures).  The bottom of the ladder is a pic of a sad boy and the privileges are doing chores, school work, and thinking time.  Level one is books, level 2 is stuffed animals, level 3 is board games, level 4 is crayons & coloring, level 5 is his playroom, level 6 is educational screen time (still limited to an hour), level 7 is Legos, level 8 is recreational screen time, etc.  It started out with 10 levels, but we have pruned as he has gotten older.  Good behavior - focusing on homework, being respectful, doing his chores without being asked, a good day at school are all rewarded by moving up the ladder (thus gaining more privileges), negative behaviors - refusal to do homework, direct disobedience, being disrespectful, etc, are punished with loss of a level (usually after a warning that it is coming).  It has worked very well for us.  I made the ladder on the computer, we went over it, and put it on the fridge.  He has a magnet that he moves up and down to see what level he is on.  It took a little while for us all to get the hang of it, but it works very well for us.  The hardest part is not letting him do things that he does not have privileges for.

 

As for the chores, we used to use monopoly money and pay him, then he could redeem the money for additional privileges.  This year (he is 7), we bought him Financial Peace Jr, by Dave Ramsey, and started that.  He has a chore chart that he fills out every week (it is dry erase).  There are mandatory chores (since we are all part of a family and have to work together), his is emptying all the small trash cans on trash day, and sorting all the recycling.  Then he has other chores that he can do and get paid for, like getting dressed without being told in the morning (10 cents) which he can earn every day, and cleaning the playroom (well enough so I can vacuum and everything has to be in its place) for $1, that he can only do once a week.  We pay him in coins every Sunday, and he puts 10% into his tithe envelope, 50% into his savings, and puts the rest in his spend envelope to use as he pleases.  Money he gets for his birthday or gifts is his to spend, or save toward something big.  Since we decide what the chores are, we can limit how much he can earn (which is $5/week, but he has never actually earned more than $2).  He might earn more in the summer when he has more time.  It was really more about teaching him the value of money.  It also means I do not buy little trinkety stuff, he has to use his own money.


Wife to M , Mommy to DS aka Captain Obvious  (06/06) and DD aka Lissalot  (03/09, anoxic brain injury)
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