what is wrong with my child? ADHD? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 06-21-2014, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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what is wrong with my child? ADHD?

My 7 year old daughter is a perfect angel in school, makes straight A'S, and the teachers love her. However, at home she has violent outbursts frequently on a daily basis ..screams at me, daddy, or sister, will hit and kick us and throw things at us, and recently got so mad she kicked and broke her closet door. She also says mean things to us. She appears to have zero control of her emotions and has often told me she can't help it and she needs to hit. She's also loses stuff a lot..like for example she brought home something from school and misplaced it within minutes of getting home. She will lose stuff she just literately had right before she starts getting upset when she can't find it.Another thing she has issues with is change. When she was smaller she would cry and throw a fit if we rearranged the furniture etc. Now she's older she is better with change.but still occassionally will cry if something is changed. This past Easter she threw a major crying fit because the Easter bunny put her baskst in different spot than normal. Just recently she pouted and got sadwhen she saw my husband packaging up the directtv box. The other thing is sleep at night is a nightmare. She refuses to go to sleep fighting it any way she can. Its like she's wound up at bedtime. She often complains of nightmares, wishing she could sleep with somebody, frequent leg cramps etc. Does any of this sound familiar?? Please help...desperate for answers! Thanks
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#2 of 15 Old 06-21-2014, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If this sounds familiar to anybody, please reach out to me. Her pediatrician has referred her for evaluation by a child study specialist at the children's hospital. We are still awaiting the call with an appt day and time. Thanks
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#3 of 15 Old 06-22-2014, 09:31 AM
 
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Getting an evaluation is a great step. It will give you many answers and probably even more questions.

Do you have a bedtime routine? My kiddo is a stickler for routine and has major issues if it varies. His day is timed almost to the minute.

Good luck and let us know how the evaluation goes.

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#4 of 15 Old 06-22-2014, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes she has a bedtime routine but it doesn't seem to help. I hope to get answers soon. Thanks Chrissy for replying.
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#5 of 15 Old 06-23-2014, 07:33 AM
 
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Its sound familiar is some ways to my younger ds. He is an angel in school. In fact he seems to be so popular that i frequently get comments from parents and teachers ' Oh, so you are 'x' mother! Pleased to meet you!'

The terrible irony is, that at home, he can be aweful. Using the word 'tantrum', or 'oppositional', hardly seems to capture some of his worst moments.

It seems to me though, that as long as he is functioning well at school, then its not a problem, and i wouldnt resort to the long winding road of evaluations, and more evaluations, and labels and mislabels, that i put my older son through, and wouldnt wish it on anyone. My older son has problems at school, but at home, is an angel. (he has trouble following classroom discussions and instructions)

An even more important factor though, is that my younger ds, whose behavior i described above, seems to be directly affected by gluten, oats, corn, and now i will add lactose and sugar to the list. (sugar being the least offensive)

I noticed you mentioned some of your daughters behavior happening around easter-was it all the chocolate she ate? (if she did?)

Look into eliminating gluten first and foremost, i would also keep sugar to a minimum, if not eliminate it altogether. You might see a change. I did with my son.
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#6 of 15 Old 06-23-2014, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Her behavior at Easter happened before she got her Easter basket, so there's definitely no correlation there. The gluten suggestion I will definitely be looking into. Thanks so much!
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#7 of 15 Old 06-26-2014, 10:01 AM
 
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I've certainly seen a few of those things with my ADHD child. Another thing I'm hearing more and more about lately is an allergy to food dyes. We haven't tried eliminating it ourselves, but I have a friend who did and she SWEARS by it for her child. They were pretty sure her daughter had ADHD as well until they eliminated food with dyes. And its true from a bystanders point her daughter definitely seems to be struggling less. Just another idea to throw out there

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#8 of 15 Old 06-26-2014, 01:17 PM
 
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Where do you find food dyes? I get they are everywhere in highly processed foods, usually candy, some of those colorful cereals. But where else? Whenever people say 'eliminate food dyes', i wonder, most conscientious parents dont feed children food dyes most of the time....
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#9 of 15 Old 06-26-2014, 01:25 PM
 
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I think a lot of conscientious parents would be surprised at how many things have food dyes that they didn't expect. Or at least didn't think extensively about... for example many cheeses.

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#10 of 15 Old 06-26-2014, 01:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
Where do you find food dyes? I get they are everywhere in highly processed foods, usually candy, some of those colorful cereals. But where else? Whenever people say 'eliminate food dyes', i wonder, most conscientious parents dont feed children food dyes most of the time....
I think more things than not, have artificial colors in them. Even foods that are white, like many vanilla ice creams.
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#11 of 15 Old 06-27-2014, 01:49 PM
 
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When you say most foods, dont you mean most 'processed food'? would this include breakfast cereals like cheerios? Organic gmo free breakfast cereals? I wouldnt trust ice cream unless i had read all the ingredients...the high fructose corn syrup is already a major problem there...
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#12 of 15 Old 06-27-2014, 01:52 PM
 
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Sure. But, most people don't completely avoid processed foods. Even conscientious parents.
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#13 of 15 Old 06-28-2014, 06:24 AM
 
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It sounds like there is a lot more going on than ADHD. The issues with transition, change, and anger seem outside that scope. I think getting her evaluated now is a great idea, even if she isn't having problems at school at this point. School gets more trying for kids as they get older an the issues you are seeing home may leak over to school. Also, it sounds like what is going on is affecting the whole family and I think home is just as important as school. Hopefully an evaluation will give you some answers and ways to deal with it.

 
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#14 of 15 Old 06-30-2014, 03:18 PM
 
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I would love to hear what you find out. I don't have any answers but I am in a similar place with my 4 1/2 year old. Total angel at preschool. I often get comments of how sweet he is to everyone. ...and at home it's a different story.



His preschool teacher mentioned the possibility of sensory processing disorder, and we suspect some ASD, and possible ADHD. We're also having an full evaluation done, but the wait is terribly long where I live.


I feel like I understand your daughter from personal experience. It sounds like there is possibly some anxiety going on. The last few years I had been diagnosed with anxiety/depression, but this last year I was diagnosed with ADHD. The anxiety/depression were by-products...as well as this insanely frustrated feeling....that made me just want to break things....and just generally feeling bad about yourself. I also got good grades and was great with my class mates. I think ADHD is harder to spot in girls because they tend to just try and cope/hide it, without fully realizing it. Heck, I was just diagnosed as 30 year old. It's easy to keep everything in when you're out of the house....and then it just comes out on all of the people you feel safe with. My mom would sometimes force me to go on a run, and then I would feel better. That is just my unprofessional opinion and I cannot relate to difficulty with change thing....but I do see those qualities in my son.

Last edited by GuavaGirl; 06-30-2014 at 03:31 PM.
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#15 of 15 Old 07-01-2014, 06:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellokitty876 View Post
My 7 year old daughter is a perfect angel in school, makes straight A'S, and the teachers love her. However, at home she has violent outbursts frequently on a daily basis ..screams at me, daddy, or sister, will hit and kick us and throw things at us, and recently got so mad she kicked and broke her closet door. She also says mean things to us. She appears to have zero control of her emotions and has often told me she can't help it and she needs to hit. She's also loses stuff a lot..like for example she brought home something from school and misplaced it within minutes of getting home. She will lose stuff she just literately had right before she starts getting upset when she can't find it.Another thing she has issues with is change. When she was smaller she would cry and throw a fit if we rearranged the furniture etc. Now she's older she is better with change.but still occassionally will cry if something is changed. This past Easter she threw a major crying fit because the Easter bunny put her baskst in different spot than normal. Just recently she pouted and got sadwhen she saw my husband packaging up the directtv box. The other thing is sleep at night is a nightmare. She refuses to go to sleep fighting it any way she can. Its like she's wound up at bedtime. She often complains of nightmares, wishing she could sleep with somebody, frequent leg cramps etc. Does any of this sound familiar?? Please help...desperate for answers! Thanks
Hello There,

Sounds like my son, age 6.5.

He would hold everything in trying to cope with the demands of school and then 'let it all out' when he came home. Every child is different and I am happy for you that she is 'sailing through' at school.

In an effort to explore what might be going on

MY TOP TIPS OF THINGS TO CONSIDER ARE:
1. Diet. People have been giving wonderful suggestions on this thread. Food intolerances (different to food allergies) well worth looking into - can affect behaviour immensely. Did you know your child can have an emotional outburst due to something they ate up to seven days previously? Hideously expensive are CYREX ARRAY 3 and ARRAY 4 intolerance tests. There may be cheaper ways to explore this.
2. Retained Primitive Reflexes ( This UK website gives a good overview www.suehyland.co.uk). Our son cried in pain with tendon tightness (like guitar strings ) at the backs of his knees at night for years. When he started doing exercises to address retained primitive reflexes - the pain disappeared.
3. Book "Disconnected Kids". This gives an insight into what difficulties some children have and what can be achieved without medication but rather an exercise and learning-based 'neuroplasticity' approach.
4. Parenting style (what works best?). Classic parenting wisdom, unfortunately, doesn't seem to work with highly emotional children. Only parents that have them understand this one!
5. Giftedness. (Some people think that gifted students have it all easy) Not always so.

Don't be surprised if your paediatrician doesn't entertain the idea of (or hasn't heard of) TIP NOS. 2,3 or 5. Go with your own instincts!
Good luck with your jigsaw puzzle - hope you find all the pieces!
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