...since having a child with special needs?
I always wanted to have 2-4 kids. I have one child who is 4 1/2 and likely has some sort of high functioning ASD (not yet officially diagnosed but we're in the process). As time went on, after he was born, and my friends were feeling ready for their second (or 3rd) child...I kept feeling increasingly not ready and wondering what my deal was (thinking I just must be bad at this). Looking back, it's obvious that I wasn't ready because my son often requires the effort/emotional energy of 2+ kids and we have no family or long time friends nearby to help out here and there...and we never felt comfortable with babysitters for a few reasons.
Now I'm just so perplexed about our family plans, in terms of having more children or not.
If someone were to tell me that ASD kids are much better off as only children, then I would probably keep my son as an only. I have a feeling it's more of a case by case basis, and that's where I struggle. Since children can take a while and some pre-planning before they get here (either through birth or adoption) , how am I supposed to predict how things will be/feel when my son is a year or two older? I keep assuming things will just get a bit easier as he gets older, but maybe that's not the case.
When I look to the future I think I might regret not having more children. ...and then I also think I might regret having more if it affects my son negatively, in terms of not having the same time and energy to give him what he needs, to help him thrive. ...and then there's the fear of not being able to handle two kids, with one or [potentially] two being high needs.
I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been through this question. I'd love to hear about your thoughts and experiences. Thank you.
I always wanted to have 2-4 kids. I have one child who is 4 1/2 and likely has some sort of high functioning ASD (not yet officially diagnosed but we're in the process). As time went on, after he was born, and my friends were feeling ready for their second (or 3rd) child...I kept feeling increasingly not ready and wondering what my deal was (thinking I just must be bad at this). Looking back, it's obvious that I wasn't ready because my son often requires the effort/emotional energy of 2+ kids and we have no family or long time friends nearby to help out here and there...and we never felt comfortable with babysitters for a few reasons.
Now I'm just so perplexed about our family plans, in terms of having more children or not.
If someone were to tell me that ASD kids are much better off as only children, then I would probably keep my son as an only. I have a feeling it's more of a case by case basis, and that's where I struggle. Since children can take a while and some pre-planning before they get here (either through birth or adoption) , how am I supposed to predict how things will be/feel when my son is a year or two older? I keep assuming things will just get a bit easier as he gets older, but maybe that's not the case.
When I look to the future I think I might regret not having more children. ...and then I also think I might regret having more if it affects my son negatively, in terms of not having the same time and energy to give him what he needs, to help him thrive. ...and then there's the fear of not being able to handle two kids, with one or [potentially] two being high needs.
I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been through this question. I'd love to hear about your thoughts and experiences. Thank you.