Would I ever be able to raise children? :D I'm autistic - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-25-2017, 12:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would I ever be able to raise children? :D I'm autistic

Hi can I please have some helpful answers please? My autism is slightly more severe than Aspergers you might not notice by how well I type but believe me I am autistic. I love the idea of gentle discipline and I don't believe in any form of physical punishment. I ADORE CHILDREN but I literally have no road sense and I sometimes punch myself in temper I've never hit anyone else only myself I LOVE CARTOONS and I've been quite depressed lately after reading some cruel spanking stories on the internet I only read them because I'm trying to find why these parents are so heartless and cruel and mean. If I had a child I would tell them a bedtime story every night. I would never spank them no matter what. I would buy them lots of toys. I would hug and kiss them and spoil them with love. I would teach them to use there imaginations and I would teach them to do acrobatics and I would encourage any hobby they have (within reason). And as punishment if they done something naughty I would make them listen to it's a small world Disney song for 5 minutes with headphones on while they must do a handstand against a wall while listening to it's a small world and if they can't do a handstand then I would but a trapeze bar and make them hang upside down while listening to it's a small world song for 5 minutes. BEST PUNISHMENT EVER :P it's unique also I would not be strict on them at all and I would accept them no matter how they are. I would buy them toys and sweets and I would let them play hide and seek in the house and I would try to make them laugh and I would love them unconditionally and they could talk to me about anything and everything. I would play with them and forgive anything they done wrong. I love kids but I am autistic and I've never even had a girlfriend before I'm 25 years old.
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#2 of 13 Old 05-25-2017, 03:00 PM
 
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I'm sure the creative punishment you describe is a joke, and I don't think kids need candy, but I do believe many different types of people can be loving and successful parents. I don't know you personally so I can't whether or not you would make a "good" parent, but I feel fairly confident saying not all persons with autism would be incapable of parenting, if that makes sense.

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#3 of 13 Old 05-28-2017, 01:37 PM
 
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Hi can I please have some helpful answers please? My autism is slightly more severe than Aspergers you might not notice by how well I type but believe me I am autistic. I love the idea of gentle discipline and I don't believe in any form of physical punishment. I ADORE CHILDREN but I literally have no road sense and I sometimes punch myself in temper I've never hit anyone else only myself I LOVE CARTOONS and I've been quite depressed lately after reading some cruel spanking stories on the internet I only read them because I'm trying to find why these parents are so heartless and cruel and mean. If I had a child I would tell them a bedtime story every night. I would never spank them no matter what. I would buy them lots of toys. I would hug and kiss them and spoil them with love. I would teach them to use there imaginations and I would teach them to do acrobatics and I would encourage any hobby they have (within reason). And as punishment if they done something naughty I would make them listen to it's a small world Disney song for 5 minutes with headphones on while they must do a handstand against a wall while listening to it's a small world and if they can't do a handstand then I would but a trapeze bar and make them hang upside down while listening to it's a small world song for 5 minutes. BEST PUNISHMENT EVER it's unique also I would not be strict on them at all and I would accept them no matter how they are. I would buy them toys and sweets and I would let them play hide and seek in the house and I would try to make them laugh and I would love them unconditionally and they could talk to me about anything and everything. I would play with them and forgive anything they done wrong. I love kids but I am autistic and I've never even had a girlfriend before I'm 25 years old.
Right now, I don't think you should be a parent. It sounds like you are working through a lot of stuff right now, and I don't think you quite understand what it takes to raise a child properly. It takes a lot of love, patience, and discipline to prepare a child for adulthood. Perhaps you could raise a child in the future if you work through your issues and take some parenting classes, but, not right now.

I am not trying to be mean, or anything like that. I'm just saying that I don't think you would be able to raise a child very well right now.

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#4 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Right now, I don't think you should be a parent. It sounds like you are working through a lot of stuff right now, and I don't think you quite understand what it takes to raise a child properly. It takes a lot of love, patience, and discipline to prepare a child for adulthood. Perhaps you could raise a child in the future if you work through your issues and take some parenting classes, but, not right now.

I am not trying to be mean, or anything like that. I'm just saying that I don't think you would be able to raise a child very well right now.

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Thanks But if I did have a child I can promise that the child would be loved with all my heart and I would never let any harm come to her/him. I know I'm not a perfect person and I have autism but an advantage to me being a parent is that I'm like a kid myself so the child will always have a kid to play with. I'll play with him/her and another thing about me is that I'm a very gentle person. I would never hurt my child no matter what. One problem though is that I can't go out without an adult with me because I have problems understanding dangerous circumstances like cars and stuff. But I would love my own child someday *God bless you*
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#5 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 03:25 PM
 
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an advantage to me being a parent is that I'm like a kid myself so the child will always have a kid to play with.
This is actually a disadvantage. Parents are parents and peers are friends. Your child would need you to act like an adult. If your plan is to act like a child with your child, you are not ready to be a parent. This is true as well for persons who do not have autism.

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One problem though is that I can't go out without an adult with me because I have problems understanding dangerous circumstances like cars and stuff.
If you are unable to go without a caretaker because you are unable to protect yourself from danger, you are in no way capable of being a parent.

Again, this doesn't mean all persons with autism should refrain from procreating. But it does very much sound like you are not up to the task.

Can you look for some volunteer opportunities in your area that your caretaker could take you to? How well do you read? Maybe you could read to a kindy class. Or volunteer with an after-school group at a Y or Boys' and Girls' Club? Or pair up with a Big Brother and sort of be the "Middle Brother" who goes along on visits with the Little Brother? These are possible option for you to enjoy time with children without assuming a lifelong responsibility you are not prepared to handle.

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#6 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 03:35 PM
 
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Since you like children so much, why don't you work in a daycare?

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#7 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 03:38 PM
 
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Thanks But if I did have a child I can promise that the child would be loved with all my heart and I would never let any harm come to her/him. I know I'm not a perfect person and I have autism but an advantage to me being a parent is that I'm like a kid myself so the child will always have a kid to play with. I'll play with him/her and another thing about me is that I'm a very gentle person. I would never hurt my child no matter what. One problem though is that I can't go out without an adult with me because I have problems understanding dangerous circumstances like cars and stuff. But I would love my own child someday *God bless you*
Unfortunately, love alone won't raise a child. You must get a job to provide them with a safe place to live, healthy food, and help them get a quality education. It doesn't sound like you are able to do that right now.

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#8 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 05:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is actually a disadvantage. Parents are parents and peers are friends. Your child would need you to act like an adult. If your plan is to act like a child with your child, you are not ready to be a parent. This is true as well for persons who do not have autism.



If you are unable to go without a caretaker because you are unable to protect yourself from danger, you are in no way capable of being a parent.

Again, this doesn't mean all persons with autism should refrain from procreating. But it does very much sound like you are not up to the task.

Can you look for some volunteer opportunities in your area that your caretaker could take you to? How well do you read? Maybe you could read to a kindy class. Or volunteer with an after-school group at a Y or Boys' and Girls' Club? Or pair up with a Big Brother and sort of be the "Middle Brother" who goes along on visits with the Little Brother? These are possible option for you to enjoy time with children without assuming a lifelong responsibility you are not prepared to handle.
Thank you very much. The answers I've got has made me sad a bit but you people are truly lovely and I do adore children lots and I want to at least do something in my life that helps children. I don't want to change my entire personality to became a parent and that makes me sad I'm sorry Also didn't Jesus say that we must become little children to enter heaven? (I'm not a super religious person. Just was saying as an example) and I'm a very childlike person. All the kids in my family love me and I love to play with them. My younger cousins actually fight over who gets to play with me and I honestly hate how strict adults can be with kids So maybe being a parent isn't for me I probably couldn't watch as many cartoons or my other hobbies if I had a child anyway

Three questions?

1. Am I still welcome on this site even though I'm not suitable to be a parent? Please Please please let me stay here? The other sites have to many harsh parents who believe in things that upset me This site is the most gentle one I've seen sorry

2. Is it really bad that I'd rather be a nice childlike parent than a strict boring one? All the kids in my family are obsessed with me and they fight over playing with me. I have a 7 year old cousin who asks to play with me everyday I truly believe that children are the absolute best thing in this whole universe and I would never want to be strict on them

3. Instead of becoming a parent can I instead become a hero to children someday? What can I do for kids in my life and still keep my own personality without becoming a parent? I want to be a person kids look up to I adore them and if I'm not suitable to be a parent then what other options can I have that will let me keep being myself but still help children somehow? I want to be remembered as a person that made kids happy

Also I want to be a superhero and stop child abuse
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#9 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please forgive me to? I'm scared that I've done something wrong sorry

Sorry if I would make a bad parent I truly don't want that I would never want that but please believe when I say that I adore children with all my heart.

Also I get very upset when kids don't like cartoons like what? I love watching cartoons but the older kids in my family think there to cool for cartoons and it makes me mad not very mad of course haha

Also I'm never going to be a parent. I've never had a girlfriend before and I'm autistic and I still play with toys and I can't go out on my own so please don't hate me or anything Sorry and also I THINK YOUR BOTH SUPER LOVELY AND WONDERFULLY NICE PARENTS *God bless you and your amazing kids*
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#10 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 05:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry everyone again
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#11 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 06:34 PM
 
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didn't Jesus say that we must become little children to enter heaven?
Yes, but he was referring to the quality of humility, not maturity level, intellect, or recreational interests.



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1. Am I still welcome on this site even though I'm not suitable to be a parent? Please Please please let me stay here? The other sites have to many harsh parents who believe in things that upset me This site is the most gentle one I've seen sorry
You are most certainly welcome! Please don't go.


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2. Is it really bad that I'd rather be a nice childlike parent than a strict boring one? All the kids in my family are obsessed with me and they fight over playing with me. I have a 7 year old cousin who asks to play with me everyday I truly believe that children are the absolute best thing in this whole universe and I would never want to be strict on them
I like to think of myself as a strict, non-boring parent. It isn't so black and white, although I do understand reasons why you might tend toward seeing that way. An ideal parent can easily move between a strong hand and a soft heart as circumstances require. IT may come easier for some than others, but most parents learn the skill over time. That's why we call our first-born our "practice child"! LOL

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3. Instead of becoming a parent can I instead become a hero to children someday? What can I do for kids in my life and still keep my own personality without becoming a parent? I want to be a person kids look up to I adore them and if I'm not suitable to be a parent then what other options can I have that will let me keep being myself but still help children somehow? I want to be remembered as a person that made kids happy
Read my post above for some ideas. I think you would make an excellent hero to kids! Have you ever thought about dressing up in a costume to visit kids in the hospital? What about training therapy dogs and taking them for visits to a pedo ward?

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Also I want to be a superhero and stop child abuse
That alone makes you a hero already!!!
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#12 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 06:36 PM
 
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Please forgive me to? I'm scared that I've done something wrong sorry
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Sorry everyone again
You have done nothing wrong and you have nothing to apologize for.
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#13 of 13 Old 05-30-2017, 08:00 PM
 
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"2. Is it really bad that I'd rather be a nice childlike parent than a strict boring one?"

It's great that you want to be a nice parent, but you must not be childlike. Children need their parents to be authoritative role models, not their best friend.

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