Bipolar children - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-21-2008, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:28 PM
 
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My mother's instinct told me bp, and I was right. LISTEN to your own!!!!
You are right.. and my Mother's Instinct doesn't say BP.. yet... It says.. anxiety..

He has a hugely rich imagination, and I just don't get how talking about flying and being king of the world, etc.. indicates mania.. He knows he can't really fly.. he'll even say "I'm just pretending mom.." He never attempts to actually fly.. or jump off things..

Oh well.. If I saw the mania, I'd agree with her.. but I just don't see it..


Guess we just need to wait to reach the Dr she wants us to see..
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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I agree with following your mama instinct. Mine knows my son IS bipolar but if yours doesn't feel that then listen to it! Mama's are rarely wrong.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:33 PM
 
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Oh I'm so glad I was directed here. It's been a bad, bad night

My 14 yo son has been diagnosed BP (which I suspected for a long time but never suggested). He spent a week in an in patient facility in early December, then did an out patient program and I now I am trying to learn about this disease. It's really changed our lives.

I have a trillion questions and cannot formulate a simple thought at the moment

I have been reading a new book, The Bipolar Teen, that is giving me some insight but Ive only just begun it.

My immediate problem is diffusing him when he gets beligerant and bullying (which he does to me and his brothers). He follows me around, swears at me, and is icy cold and MEAN. Tonight I had to take my 12 and 3 yo sons and go hide upstairs. I finally started to sob and have not been able to stop yet (which is probably a good thing, as I have not really absorbed any of this yet).

I just feel really out of my element. Like I am swimming in a foreign country, I do not speak the language and passers by are just waving and going past. It's very isolating and I dont know where to go.

He sees a therapist every week and then a psychiatrist every 4 weeks to check in about his meds.
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Old 02-01-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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Stinkerbelle: *hugs*
I'm headed out of town.. but will be back on the 10th.. Wanted to offer hugs before I left
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Old 02-01-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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Stinkerbelle: *hugs*
I'm headed out of town.. but will be back on the 10th.. Wanted to offer hugs before I left
oh, thanks so much.

My biggest hurdle at the moment is how to respond to him. What makes him worse/better? I have no idea because it feels like I am doing EVERYTHING wrong.

For example, he has not managed to get up for school on time once in the month of January. He is tardy between 30min to 2 hours everyday.

So far, the school has not addressed this.

Do I let the school handle it and just continue to keep waking him and trying to prod him into motivation in the mornings?

Or do I need to step in and give some consequences for this?

My issue is that I KNOW it's the BP that makes every single thing he does a huge project. I know he cannot will himself to get up and dressed and ready, no matter how early he wakes up. The medications have been changed so it is not grogginess in the morning, it's lack of motivation (depression, I guess).

I feel like everything I do will make it worse. I have no clue!!
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Old 02-04-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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bump again!
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Old 02-04-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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My biggest hurdle at the moment is how to respond to him. What makes him worse/better? I have no idea because it feels like I am doing EVERYTHING wrong.

For example, he has not managed to get up for school on time once in the month of January. He is tardy between 30min to 2 hours everyday.

So far, the school has not addressed this.

Do I let the school handle it and just continue to keep waking him and trying to prod him into motivation in the mornings?

Or do I need to step in and give some consequences for this?

My issue is that I KNOW it's the BP that makes every single thing he does a huge project. I know he cannot will himself to get up and dressed and ready, no matter how early he wakes up. The medications have been changed so it is not grogginess in the morning, it's lack of motivation (depression, I guess).

I feel like everything I do will make it worse. I have no clue!!
1. Re: What makes him worse or better- YOU cannot make him worse or better, only he can make those steps, and once they are teens it is imperative that they take personal responsibility for their choices. I have a 17yo w/bipolar and a 14yo with schizophrenia, our world is like a therapy (nut)house LOL

2. Re: Late for school - I really want to encourage you to let go of this and let the school handle it. It goes back to who owns this problem...him or you? He does. It's his responsibility to get to school each day and on time. The motivation has to be internal or you're just beating your head against the wall. The more you can tell yourself (and him) that it's his problem (yes you grit your teeth the first few hundred times) then the more he will have no choice but to deal with it himself. Bipolar isn't going to go away anytime soon, and he needs to learn to deal with this now so he's able to deal with it as an adult. Also, as a side note, make sure you call the school each morning he is late and tell the office staff it's unexcused. Hearing it from mom makes it more likely they will deal with it. He needs to have the consequences from the school, not from you on this issue. If they aren't or wont address it, talk to the principal and let them know you are not comfortable with the bipolar dx being used as an excuse to be tardy. I guarantee he's not the only kiddo in school with this issue...he's got to step up to the plate too.

3. Safety Issue: If you are at the point that you are hiding from him (we've been there), you are at the point that the police need to be involved during these confrontations, both for safety and documentation reasons. Call 911 (do not tell him), and when the police get there explain that he is a safety risk and bipolar. Once the police are involved you can have them transport him to the ER for a psychiatric hold, then get his psychiatrist involved and you INSIST he is put inpatient while it gets sorted out. You still retain all of your rights as a parent to make decisions regarding medication etc. When my kiddo was inpatient I was still a very involved mama and we have avoided medication whenever possible...but the reality is when they are a genuine threat to the safety and sanity of your home and themselves, despite doing everything you know to do, there is a point where these kids NEED help for their brain to work correctly. If he is currently on medication and he's still like this, consider other options and/or increase the amount of therapy he's recieving. Also, remember that teens are normally moody, hormonal, and have unpredictable emotions. Adding bipolar to the mix makes it even more volatile for them to deal with.

Hope that helps, you can do this!!! Stay strong
((hugs))
Bellevuemama

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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Old 02-21-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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just a bump.. /still/ waiting on the psych report here
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