did you feel something was wrong during pregnancy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 03-31-2006, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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just wondering if others had this experience. when I was pregnant I felt strongly that something was wrong or would go wrong when dd was born. I would sit and cry and cry because I actually thought she would be stillborn. I didn't think I'd be bringing a baby home from the hospital. I didn't buy anything for her until I was over 40 wks pregnant. when she was rushed to the NICU after birth, I sat there and sobbed and said to DH, "I told you!" because all along he had tried to reassure me our baby would be fine.

sorry if this brings up some negative emotions for others, I just wonder if it was a coincidence or if my soul somehow knew before my mind did.

side note- If I had known then what I know now, I would have rejoiced! having a kid with special needs is wonderful, a beautiful experience and I wouldn't trade her for the WORLD! It was the fear of not knowing *what* was wrong that got me.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#2 of 27 Old 03-31-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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I have talked with several friends and family members about the feelings/fears/premonitions I had while pg and prior to having ds. Before having him, I was always terrified of autism. After seeing the movie "Son Rise" when I was a child, autism scared the living daylights out of me. Before I got pg, I always told myself I could handle any kind of special needs child "except autism," I told myself. "I don't think I could handle autism." While I was pg I was terrified of it, I went back and forth on the whole vax or not to vax issue. I had panic attacks in my last trimester. When he was born I cried in the pediatrician's office, wracked with guilt over vaxing him. When he was a few months old, I asked about him possibly having autism because of his fascination with ceiling fans.

It was always always always in the back of my mind and in my heart. I honestly and truly believe that God was whispering in my ear the whole time, telling me I would have a child with autism. Telling me what was coming. But my refusal to hear it turned into fear instead. I know that probably sounds really weird, but I believe it's what happened. God (or whatever you believe...) was telling me an autistic child was coming to me, and to get ready.
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#3 of 27 Old 03-31-2006, 09:39 PM
 
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I had fears of my dd2 being born with problems. Even though she had a couple of very detailed u/s because of growth concerns (turned out to be nothing) I just couldn't shake the feeling. I had PTL at 23 weeks and a few more times after that. Finally she was born at 38 weeks and I was relieved that she appeared to be healthy and normal. By 3 mos old she had a feeding tube because of reflux and refusal to eat.

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#4 of 27 Old 03-31-2006, 09:59 PM
 
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I had 3 miscarriages before DD was conceived. I suffered anxiety throughout the pregnancy. Every other day I was convinced I was going to miscarry again. I was a mess. This did not ever go away. I was almost certain I'd lose her before she was born. I reluctantly started buying things for her when we hit about the 33 week point. Then the night we brought her home I had a complete meltdown and was convinced I was going to make some kind of mistake that would cause her harm when she was depending on me to take care of her. DH had to talk me down from it since I was afraid to even pick her up.

I don't know that I knew she'd be autistic, but I do think that the struggle to conceive her and carry the pregnancy and the fear of doing something wrong prepared me in a way for what was to come. In the midst of the miscarriage struggles, I was convinced that something about my first child would be special and different, although I didn't know what. I think my fear of losing her, which persists to this day (although much lower key), has kept me watching out for the problems that we've now discovered with her health. And I think getting through the anxiety helped me to steel my resolve in order to be the advocate I need to be for her.
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#5 of 27 Old 04-01-2006, 05:22 AM
 
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Not with my oldest, who is my biggest challenge so far, but with my youngest. She's not quite six months old and as far as we know she's completely healthy but time will tell if the creepy premonitions wre true. All during my pregnancy with her I felt that something was wrong. In early pregnancy I was sure that I would miscarry. Later I was sure that something was going to go dramatically wrong with her birth. I still feel a vague uneasiness occassionally but she is healthy and well, as far as we know.
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#6 of 27 Old 04-03-2006, 06:25 PM
 
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From the very beginning of my pregnancy, I was sure something was wrong. At our 18 week u/s, I remember the tech saying, "oh, the baby looks great and healthy", and me thinking, "no, I think you just didn't find the problem yet." It was a bizarre thought, pretty unsettling, and yet in my soul I KNEW there were problems.

Strangely enough, at the time I was pg with #3 (my dd with SN), I was doing daycare in my home and caring for a little boy born @ 24 weeks. He was in EI, had some medical issues, and some developmental delays. I was sooo scared initially to care for him, but I loved him to pieces and grew to feel quite accomplished in caring for him. I often wonder if it wasn't God's way of gently guiding me to recognize the joy in all children, no matter their limitations. I know not everyone subscribes to that belief, but it brought me comfort at the time I needed it.
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#7 of 27 Old 04-03-2006, 06:42 PM
 
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I miscarried the first time I was ever preg, so yes with DS1 I waited and waited to lose him. With DS2 I had some early spotting, caused from sex had an irritated cervix, but I still worried that I was going to miscarry. The he was born and a day later we were rushed by ambulance to the next towns NICU. That was scary his heart rate was dipping in to the low 40's. He spent three day's in there and the whole time I thought we were going to lose him. He is great now his heart is fine nothing wrong with it, they think it was caused from his cord being around his neck and it pinched something in his neck and it took a few days to straiten out. I still worry about him since that even though he is in perfect health.
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#8 of 27 Old 04-03-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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I was sure there was something wrong. I confided this to only one close friend, as I didn't see the need in bothering my husband. At 22 wk we had an u/s, because they had reason to believe there was a tubal defect, much to my shock, it wasn't a problem, it was twins!!
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#9 of 27 Old 04-04-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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I felt something was wrong the whole time. I even mentioned this fear to my midwife, but I kept chalking it up to new mommy fears. She suggested that if I was so worried, I should get an ultrasound and find out. I thought about it and decided not to. I'm glad that I didn't. And I also didn't buy anything for him until after he was born because I was afraid either he would die in utero or soon after. And he came close to death. But he wanted to be here.
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#10 of 27 Old 04-11-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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Yea I too knew something was off. The day I got my positive pregnancy test I had a bad feeling. My dh kept saying oh you worry to much. I kept telling myself its was just first mother fears as well. Then we found out at 19 weeks indeed something was wrong with his brain. Although they never knew for sure how he would be affected. By the end of the pregnancy I had myself convinced nothing was wrong although I was very scared and I was right.

I know when I do get pregnant again I will know for sure ahead of time what is to come.
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#11 of 27 Old 04-11-2006, 02:11 PM
 
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No, but I did have more anxiety about her after she was born, probably due to PPD. The fact that she was 9 days overdue (and the first of mine to be overdue) should have been a clue that Maura was going to do things on HER terms
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#12 of 27 Old 04-13-2006, 02:46 PM
 
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I knew when I could not go to the movies b/c ds would kick the cr@p out of me that he was going to be something special. It was confirmed when I had to leave every church service (our church band rocks!) during the pg due to him causing internal bruising.

We knew from the begining that he was going to be sensitive and he was. Only slept for three min at a time, had to be swaddled till 8 mo old. Could not be put down till he was...did I say he could be put down? Nope 14 months and still lovin it up in our arms

DX is Regulatory Disorder, but I know a few mo ago, it was autism. We stopped him vax schedule and started a protocol and he is much better now. Speech and feeding and social delays still, but much better.

Nik
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#13 of 27 Old 04-13-2006, 09:53 PM
 
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When I was preg with DS we had an ultrasound at 18 weeks and they found a calcium deposit on his heart and let us know that he was at high risk for downs syndrome. I worried a lot about it, until around 6 mos. At that point I let it all go and just accepted that I would love him for who he was, now who I wanted him to be. He was born without downs syndrome but was labeled as colicky, high needs, etc. Now at the age of 3, I'm almost positive he has autism. I think that as a mother you just know that something is off. I knew it from the first day he was born. Now that I look back on my pregnancy I see that he was WAY more active than most.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#14 of 27 Old 04-14-2006, 02:10 AM
 
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I didn't know during pregnancy - my pregnancy was blissful and happy. The premonitions started sometime after Jackson was born. I had a feeling for MONTHS that something bad was going to happen, and even talked to a friend about it. I misread those feelings and assumed that something bad was going to happen to *me* - I went to the doctor 4 times in the months prior to Jackson's diagnosis for dumb little things that I thought were cancer.

Also, like all new parents, we took a ton of photos and video of Jackson. I recall thinking on more than one occasion, "This will be good to have if he dies." I thought it was an odd thought to have, but as a new parent I didn't know - maybe all parents have those kind of morbid thoughts? I don't think so - I think, like a previous poster said, that God was whispering in my ear and that my mama alarm was already going off even though my conscious mind didn't see anything wrong.
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#15 of 27 Old 04-15-2006, 02:37 PM
 
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I remember having a conversation with my best friend when we were trying to get pregnant. I told her I felt God might be telling me I was going to have an autistic child. I talked to my OB about this and she told me that if you breastfeed kids aren't autistic. I believed her or wanted to. My whole pregnancy I just had a feeling that I was going to have boys and I feared autism. I prayed and prayed for protection for their brains. I have felt from the getgo that one of my boys would be autistic. I've had concerns about Andrew but I tried to listen to everyone that told me I was imagining it all. We were told last week that Andrew is most likely autistic. I wish I had been wrong!

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#16 of 27 Old 04-17-2006, 01:14 AM
 
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I knew while I was pregnant. Thought he was twins. Got a u/s at 14.5 weeks, about 1 week too early to see the problem with his kidneys. I knew he would have seizures. I still suspect he will lose his hearing at some point or he has hearing loss already and they just can't find it. I would wake up while I was pregnant wanting to go to the ER. I think I was able to handle the hospital stays, the intense sickness, the surgeries, the constant doctor visits because I had already accepted that something was wrong, even if it couldn't be found.

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#17 of 27 Old 04-17-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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Wow--interesting thread. I was most afraid of having a c-section--which I ended up having--unfortunately. I didn't think there was anything wrong during the pregnancy (in fact, all I kept hearing by OBs was how great everything looked)--but I knew the day she was born that something wasn't right. Mother's intuition, that's for certain.
It's interesting to read how many of us had that same feeling--even before we were confirmed by doctors or tests.
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#18 of 27 Old 04-17-2006, 04:35 PM
 
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I think I worried with all of my pg, but when I look back my pg with my middle child was different. He kicked harder and more often than his siblings did. I had heartburn bad during my pg with him, but not during my other pgs. I gained the most weight with him, and he was the biggest of my three babies. He has SID and is FTT. We are still trying to figure out if he has some kind of GI problem that is causing the FTT. He is scheduled to have a colonoscopy on Friday. He turns 5 in June and only weighs 29 lbs.
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#19 of 27 Old 04-17-2006, 05:52 PM
 
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YEP, YEP & YEP!

I knew from the beginning something was wrong but I didn't say much about it and figured it was due to 2 m/c's I had a few years earlier. But further along I got into the pregnancy the feeling of "something's just not right" grew stronger and I noticed he didn't move much. My previous pregnancies with my other kids, ya know, they kicked liked little kick boxers, not Jonathon. He just stretched every now and again and that was it. U/S's didnt show anything, not even a level 2, but his heartrate ran low. He was born having respiratory distress, 3 mths in PICU and came home with a trach and gtube and had open heart surgery at 7 days for transposition of the great arteries. But I love him more than anything and wouldnt trade him for a healthy boy no matter what!
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#20 of 27 Old 04-19-2006, 04:00 PM
 
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I had terrible graphic dreams about a horrible birth experience and a baby very close to death, both of which happened. I always knew something was wrong, so I was very surprised I made it full term with no issues. Around 12 months I picked up that something was going on with her but it took more than 6 months to get a straight answer (Deaf!). We had a lot of strange answers to prayers and blessings that we now understand!!!!
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#21 of 27 Old 06-20-2006, 06:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bri276
just wondering if others had this experience. when I was pregnant I felt strongly that something was wrong or would go wrong when dd was born. I would sit and cry and cry because I actually thought she would be stillborn
Yes, actually, the day I got pregnant with DS (2 years old) I knew something was wrong...no clue what, but I'd go to every appointment/ultrasound expecting to not be able to find a heartbeat...then at 6 weeks I miscarried his twin and I thought that was it, but no, Is till felt it, then there was all sorts of pre-term labour/bedrest/etc, and I thought that was it, but no...I still keep expecting something else to be wrong, and we already have a diagnosis of epilepsy, sever expressive communication delays, moderate-severe receptive communication delays, cognitive delays, and SID...ohh, and his organs aren't in the right places...nothing wrong, they just aren't where they belong...I've never felt this way in regaurds to DD who is almost 4.

Jillian wife to Ryan and mommy to Janelle Ashlynn (9/09/2002), Kincaid Chance (3/29/2004), Travis Neil (8/13/2007) and River Anderson (5/02/2009).
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#22 of 27 Old 06-20-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USAmma
I had fears of my dd2 being born with problems. Even though she had a couple of very detailed u/s because of growth concerns (turned out to be nothing) I just couldn't shake the feeling. I had PTL at 23 weeks and a few more times after that. Finally she was born at 38 weeks and I was relieved that she appeared to be healthy and normal. By 3 mos old she had a feeding tube because of reflux and refusal to eat.
I had a similar experience. I also had extra u/s for a different reason. She was born at 37.5 weeks and seemed fine, I finally relaxed. I figured maybe that fear all along was that should would be a tiny bit early, my only kid born before 40 weeks. Then later it turned out she had SID and severe silent reflux, she didn't gain weight for awhile. So I 'knew' with her.

With my ds I didn't think anything was wrong and he turned out to have high functioning autism. I knew when he was a tiny baby something wasn't right but I didn't feel anything with his pregnancy.
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#23 of 27 Old 06-24-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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My entire pregnancy was a rough one as it was but i had feelings that something was going to be wrong, i did not know what tho. As soon as he was born tho and i looked at him my second thought { my first was how beautiful and perfect he was to me} was what is wrong. I knew instantly the second i looked at him but it did not matter, i think i knew all along and that sortof prepared me. i knew tho the second he was born that he was PERFECT to me. He still is, sometimes people ask whats wrong with him etc... I look at them and say well i know whats wrong with you your an a**, my son is fine.
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#24 of 27 Old 06-25-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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YEP, YEP & YEP!

I knew from the beginning something was wrong but I didn't say much about it and figured it was due to 2 m/c's I had a few years earlier. But further along I got into the pregnancy the feeling of "something's just not right" grew stronger and I noticed he didn't move much. My previous pregnancies with my other kids, ya know, they kicked liked little kick boxers, not Jonathon. He just stretched every now and again and that was it. U/S's didnt show anything, not even a level 2, but his heartrate ran low. He was born having respiratory distress, 3 mths in PICU and came home with a trach and gtube and had open heart surgery at 7 days for transposition of the great arteries. But I love him more than anything and wouldnt trade him for a healthy boy no matter what!
I had a similar experience with Megan (her story is linked in my sig below). I just knew something was wrong w/ her, even though the ultrasound (L2) said she was okay. It got much worse after she was born - I started having all of these weird dreams and images of her in my arms, but shrinking until she dissappeared. Really freaky.

Anyway, she was sick, really sick. She still has continuing cardiac issues, but she's doing okay.
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#25 of 27 Old 06-27-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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My husband did. I had absolutely no thoughts of anything being wrong. Compared to my first pregnacy hers was a breeze. I was healthy and felt great. Everything was going fine until we actually got to the hospital.

I knew something was up when I had to have an IV because DD wasn't responding much to contractions. As soon as I saw her I knew something was different about her.

I still wish we had had a better ultrasound done. Not to know about the Down syndrome but to know about her heart issues. Some pretty serious stuff and we would have delivered at a different hospital and had different outcomes all around.

Anyway, I had no idea and never thought anything like this could or would ever happen to our family. She is the best little light in our family and joy to us all.

Christi
DS1(12), DD(7)blessed with T21, DS2(2), and DD2 - newly arrived 1/28/11
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#26 of 27 Old 06-28-2006, 06:00 AM
 
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Not joking.. I went to the hospital almost EVERY week of my pregnancy bc I "felt there was something wrong"

my WHOLE pregnancy with my daughter I was worried..... always. ALWAYS thinking about her.... and why she hadnt kicked, and why this and why that..

I had about 30ultrasounds my pregnancy with her, and everything ALWAYS looked fine.....

I feel that I just knew something was going to happen... and sadly it did.
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#27 of 27 Old 06-30-2006, 12:48 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with dd#2, I also worried about the pregnancy, mainly because I could feel her shaking in my belly (I'm pretty sure she was having seizures) I would ask my doctor about it, and he always just told me things looked okay and not to worry. Looking, back, I should have pushed for another ultrasound, or SOMETHING. But, really it wouldn't have changed anything. After she was born, I convinced myself she was fine, she didn't look "normal" but I made myself believe that she was. DH knew that something was wrong with her. It wasn't until she was 7 weeks old that we found out the extent of her problems, when she started having seizures while nursing. It was awful. Something that I'll never forget.
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