What do you consider "special needs"? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-14-2006, 01:23 AM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfmama
christaN, from what i've seen OT for SID is hard to get for any child. you have to prove academic relevance. my son will get OT for dysgraphia but not for SID.

i have to do private OT for sensory issues.
Yep. My ds got OT because they could code his dx as a "sensory based feeding disorder." SID isn't covered. Now that he has the autism dx on top of it all, we can get OT for whatever we need, thank goodness.
Finch is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-14-2006, 01:44 AM
 
mamaverdi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think Christa's experience with her daughter is all too common these days. I remember my own GT classes; they were much like what you are describing Finch.

But I see so many highly intelligent kids with very out of whack development. Sure my 6 year old can understand Astrophysics, but he cries for literally hours after I cut his fingernails....if I can cut them without him hitting, kicking, or biting me. And forget washing his hair or brushing his teeth.

Asynchronous development is one of the hallmarks of high intelligence.

Like I said, I know a guy who is bloody brilliant, but he can barely run his class because he can't remember that he has a dentist appointment scheduled at the same time as class. He can't drive himself to University (he's 55). And he can't remember which room the class is in. What would he do if his wife died, G-d forbid?


mv
mamaverdi is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 02:01 AM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh reminded me of a girl he taught. Possibly one of the smartest he taught. She was gifted- not high needs- but IMO special needs (due to giftedness- no other "issues") quiet kid. Shot herself in the chest at 16. Sadly pretty typical among gifted kids.
Because they:
"don't need anything special"
"everyone would love to have kids like them."

Maybe her parents felt that way... right up to the day before. I want to make sure that's not my child.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 02:07 AM
 
mamaverdi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Baruch Dayan Emes.

"I want to make sure that's not my child."

Me too.
mamaverdi is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 04:08 AM
 
EXOLAX's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tralfamadore
Posts: 766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We don't consider our eldest daughter to be "special needs" or "Special Needs".

Her issues:

- Born with a cleft lip and gumline (cosmetic issue, repaired through surgeries, left with scars and a 'fat lip' but her PS is wonderful and to the untrained eye she looks like she had a recent fall).

- Born with congenital neurologic strabismus (no fix yet with our medical science, surgeries and glasses used to try to patch her brains' misdirection).

- Diagnosed with SID (mild case, we're not pursuing OT, but we take it into consideration still. It mostly impacts her in regards to food and sounds).

- Lots of allergies, known and unknown (resulting in chronic congestion, excema, apnea, nasal voice, cough etc. since birth).

- Diagnosed with delayed speach (we thought mild, and it was, she started speaking at 2.5 and hasn't stopped since. We had opted out of ST.)

- Currently been battling recurring bouts of severe headaches and nausea/vomiting lasting for 18-24 hours. This started in March and happens 1-2 times per week. (She's spent her Spring and Summer going to specialists and being tested, examined, x-rayed etc.. Still awaiting an official diagnosis, or eliminating all possible alternatives before sticking with the migraine theory presented by her neurologist.)

- She's highly intelligent and has difficulty relating to same age peers on an intellectual level (simply, they confuse her).

As I said, neither my husband nor I would call her special needs for any or all of her issues. But isn't that just symantecs? I don't think it matters what I consider to be special needs or what anyone else does. If anyone were to tell me that there child is special needs I would never presume to tell them their child wasn't, for whatever reason. It's all about perspective, and one of the wonderful things about being human, and having the ability and the freedom to communicate and express our feelings is our differences. No one knows what it is like to be me, or anyone else. We have all lived very different lives that have lead to where we are now; with our thought process and choices.

That said, just because someone has it worse then me or our DD it doesn't take away from what we go through with her, what she has gone through and what trials she has yet to face. Just because someone hasn't experienced all that we have doesn't diminish what they go through with their children. Do we really need to define special needs on a board such as this, while in our day to day lives we struggle for the rights of our children (children with and without issues alike)? I worry when it comes to issues like this; feeling the need to classify phrases to fit our own standards or that of a majority that it will end up diminishing someones personal plight. By some people's personal standards our DD is sn, or even SN, by other's she isn't sn at all. I am personally not concerned with the perceptions of others, but am concerned that placing those standards out there could be exclusive.
EXOLAX is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 10:17 AM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaverdi
b

But I see so many highly intelligent kids with very out of whack development. Sure my 6 year old can understand Astrophysics, but he cries for literally hours after I cut his fingernails....if I can cut them without him hitting, kicking, or biting me. And forget washing his hair or brushing his teeth.
That's SID, not giftedness.
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 12:40 PM
 
ChristaN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,159
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Finch, I admit that my experience is limited to my child, but the psychologist whom we consulted regarding dd is nationally known for her work with gifted children. She stated that most gifted children show signs of SID due to the innate sensitivity of their brain wiring. In other words, some degree of SID is part and parcel of being gifted. I don't really see it as a separate issue in my dd, but rather as part of the whole package of her primary issue.

Similarly, she's got training wheels on her bicycle and is very cautious physically not b/c she has some other issue but b/c she is hyperaware of the potential consequences of injury and is afraid of doing things b/c she could get seriously hurt or die. I don't try to tease all of these things apart b/c they really aren't separate issues.
ChristaN is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:10 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristaN
Similarly, she's got training wheels on her bicycle and is very cautious physically not b/c she has some other issue but b/c she is hyperaware of the potential consequences of injury and is afraid of doing things b/c she could get seriously hurt or die. I don't try to tease all of these things apart b/c they really aren't separate issues.
That was SO me. It DID impact my life. There were tons of things that "normal" kids did that I never would have considered.

MV's son's SID is BECAUSE of his giftedness. They're intertwined. They're one and the same.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:22 PM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
MV's son's SID is BECAUSE of his giftedness. They're intertwined. They're one and the same.

-Angela
Huh. Never read that in any book about SID, nor have any of my son's therapists who specialize in SID said that SID and giftedness are "one in the same." SID is SID. Gifted is gifted.
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:34 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finch
Huh. Never read that in any book about SID, nor have any of my son's therapists who specialize in SID said that SID and giftedness are "one in the same." SID is SID. Gifted is gifted.
Perhaps you should read more books on the special needs of gifted children. This is documented.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:37 PM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
Perhaps you should read more books on the special needs of gifted children. This is documented.

-Angela
Not worth it. Dig your heels in. Have fun.
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:38 PM
 
fullofgrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New England
Posts: 15,416
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Giftedness does not negate or override other diagnoses.

So your children are gifted AND likely have SID (I say likely because only a SID trained OT can either diagnose or truly rule that out. I have not yet heard of a clinically trained and licensed SID psychologist, but I could be wrong. Please hear that with the sincerity I'm saying it. I hate message boards with their lack of tone.) And you know what? There's absolutely nothing wrong with having SID AND being Gifted. Giftedness and SID are both a part of who they are and how they navigate this world. The SID does not need to be 'hidden' (for lack of a better term right now) under the Gifted label. Gifted + Special Needs is highly documented, as well. (Deidre Lovecky's work for example)

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

fullofgrace is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:39 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
SID can exist in other situations, but in gifted kids it's often because they're gifted. Just like developmental delays can exist in lots of kids, but in kids with downs syndrome, it's because of the downs.

I'm sorry this is so difficult for you to understand.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:40 PM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess we're not gifted.
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:43 PM
 
monday's child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 1 mile W of Insanity
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So does this mean my child isn't gifted b/c he doesn't have SID?

Sorry, couldn't resist Going back to lurking...
monday's child is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:47 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
So does this mean my child isn't gifted b/c he doesn't have SID?
Of course not. Just like all kids with downs syndrome don't have all the issues (some don't have heart issues... for example) But it IS documented to sometimes/often go along with it.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:51 PM
 
monday's child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 1 mile W of Insanity
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
Of course not. Just like all kids with downs syndrome don't have all the issues (some don't have heart issues... for example) But it IS documented to sometimes/often go along with it.

-Angela
Obviously you didn't get the subtlety of my humor there, though I did include a to show that I was joking.
monday's child is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:51 PM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So they "often" go together. "Often" going together does not make them "one in the same."

Whatever. You're the expert. You know it all, and we're just screaming mimis. Have at it. I quit.
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 01:54 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
Obviously you didn't get the subtlety of my humor there, though I did include a to show that I was joking.
sorry.... it's just been a bit harsh around here... :
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 02:02 PM
 
fullofgrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New England
Posts: 15,416
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
indeed.

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

fullofgrace is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 02:03 PM
 
monday's child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 1 mile W of Insanity
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
sorry.... it's just been a bit harsh around here... :
But sometimes, you just have to realize that you've made your point and then walk away. Not everyone is going to see things from your pov. I'm not in any way taking your side of the argument, because I too am not understanding why they'd put gifted children in the same forum as children with developmental/physical disabilities. I'm not saying that they both don't have special parenting challenges, but they are different in very many ways - more differences than likenesses.

What I am saying is that sometimes, it's not worth it to always have the last word. It just riles things up more and doesn't solve anything.
monday's child is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 03:09 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I will not walk away until parents of gifted kids have a safe space on MDC free from attacks. It's not right that we have to keep explaining and defending that our children DO have special needs. If you don't want us in the forum with medically fragile children, then create a forum for medically fragile children. If you don't want us in a forum with disabled children, then create a forum for disabled children. But, like it or not, it is widely accepted that gifted children DO have "Special Needs" and it's not right that parents of these children have to defend their existence in the catagory.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 04:01 PM
 
Treasuremapper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I like and respect all these parents of gifted kids. Angela and Darshani in particular have attracted my attention on numerous occasions because of their thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate posts on various subjects. In the case of Angela, I have even quoted her in real life and on boards (her famous and brilliant "I am the mama" is classic). I have always enjoyed Lady Marmalade's style of writing and her insights.

I want Angela to be happy. I can't even believe I disagree with her about anything ever since most of her posts cause me to go "oh my gosh, is how does she even think of such great ideas!!" or "right on!" I have even seen threads where Angela has not yet posted, but that are just crying out for her special touch and thought "where is Angela? she needs to be on this thread."

But in this case, I very respectfully disagree with Angela. The term "special needs" doesn't have much special significance for me on a personal level. My opinion is just based on the traditional use of the word, when it was first coined to be a euphemism for children with disabilities or medical or educational needs. My feeling is that if the mothers of kids with disabilities want to use that expression, which has long been the pc expression, then why not just go ahead and let them use it? Parents of gifted kids have their own challenges. They deserve to have their own space, not long meandering threads. How about a subforum of special needs? Would that work?
Treasuremapper is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 04:02 PM
 
Finch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NC!
Posts: 9,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.....where did I put those puppets?
Finch is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 04:37 PM
 
Treasuremapper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Finch, did you write that fabulous essay in your sig line?

Either way, it's very interesting.

Now, back to our regular thread.
Treasuremapper is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 06:26 PM
 
monday's child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 1 mile W of Insanity
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
I will not walk away until parents of gifted kids have a safe space on MDC free from attacks. It's not right that we have to keep explaining and defending that our children DO have special needs. If you don't want us in the forum with medically fragile children, then create a forum for medically fragile children. If you don't want us in a forum with disabled children, then create a forum for disabled children. But, like it or not, it is widely accepted that gifted children DO have "Special Needs" and it's not right that parents of these children have to defend their existence in the catagory.

-Angela
I guess you missed a line I wrote, so I'll quote myself -

Quote:
I'm not saying that they both don't have special parenting challenges, but they are different in very many ways - more differences than likenesses.


What I have found interesting in this whole debate is that people want to be catagorized within special needs yet feel that their children shouldn't be labeled or that ALL children are gifted/have special needs.

Obviously none of us can agree on anything.

But this isn't a forum for "medically fragile" children. A child with speech delays is not at a medical risk persay. Also, a child with allergies can be considered "medically fragile" yet not be considered "special needs" - special diet, yes.

Labeling the forum "disabled children" is also not a good term, mainly b/c I think it would be confusing - would it mean physically disabled? mentally disabled? Both? Would one consider an autistic child "disabled"? Some of their parents may not agree with that.

Again, in risk of repeating myself - I never said gifted children don't have special needs. Nor did I say or even imply that the parents should be kicked off of MDC. I don't see anyone doing that - in fact, it looks like their issues are being addressed so they can have a forum of their own where they can hold real discussions instead of being limited to one or two threads. And let's be honest, some gifted kids don't have the emotional/psychological issues like SIDS or anxiety that others do - they're just "normal" kids with higher than average IQ's, and maybe their parents don't feel right posting on a "special needs" board, but would enjoy a "gifted children's" board.

But obviously, it is an issue, the two groups both here on one board. It has been stated that it pains people just to see the gifted kids thread - not read it, just see the header of the thread. Should their feelings not be considered as much as the gifted parents feelings? Do they not have the right to express themselves also? Should one groups feelings be considered more important than the others?

Or should a happy medium be found?

Yes, all the parents here are dealing with special challenges. But they're for the most part, two different ends of the spectrum, two different sets of challenges. Equal challenges? Maybe? Equally important to the parents involved? Definitely. However, it's sort of like women complaining about their breast size. Yes, we all have breasts, but it's vastly different to live with large ones or extremely small ones. Yes, we both have problems in the fitting room of Victoria's Secret, but they're different problems. It's the same problem - unhappiness with breast size - but two different camps, different complaints, dilema's, clothing issues.

How's that for an analogy?

Again, I do feel like this is beating the proverbial dead horse at this point - maybe since you feel so passionately about this, your time would be better served addressing your issues with the moderators than picking apart each and every thread. Or even explain to us what special needs your gifted child has - maybe we can better understand where your coming from with that.
monday's child is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 06:36 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
What I have found interesting in this whole debate is that people want to be catagorized within special needs yet feel that their children shouldn't be labeled or that ALL children are gifted/have special needs.
I have no problems with lables. I find them useful. And I don't think all children are gifted or have special needs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
But obviously, it is an issue, the two groups both here on one board. It has been stated that it pains people just to see the gifted kids thread - not read it, just see the header of the thread. Should their feelings not be considered as much as the gifted parents feelings? Do they not have the right to express themselves also? Should one groups feelings be considered more important than the others?
Of course their feelings should be considered. I have no desire to cause hurt to anyone. However, what if we're given a sub-forum under special needs- will that cause the same hurt? Will we be right back here a year from now with the same argument? Because a year ago this discussion was had, we were allowed threads in SN and here we are. We didn't go into other threads and "brag" we were in our own thread. It's the mere presence of that thread that is causing hurt. How will a forum not do the same?

Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
Again, I do feel like this is beating the proverbial dead horse at this point - maybe since you feel so passionately about this, your time would be better served addressing your issues with the moderators than picking apart each and every thread. Or even explain to us what special needs your gifted child has - maybe we can better understand where your coming from with that.
I have addressed the issue with the moderators and given them my ideas on what may or may not work and some factors in that. As to my child, I hardly feel comfortable opening myself up to that, since it's been made very clear that I would be bragging as my child can not have special issues because of being gifted.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 06:57 PM
 
monday's child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: 1 mile W of Insanity
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
However, what if we're given a sub-forum under special needs- will that cause the same hurt?
I was under the impression that Special Needs was a sub-forum of Parenting, and that Gifted Kids would just be a sub-forum of Parenting as well. I could be wrong, but that's the impression I got b/c people brought up the same issue that you did - that putting it as a sub-forum of SN's would cause issues.

Quote:
As to my child, I hardly feel comfortable opening myself up to that, since it's been made very clear that I would be bragging as my child can not have special issues because of being gifted.
How can it be bragging when I've asked you? I didn't mean "List everything your child is capable of doing" but what her special needs are. Does she have SID? Does her intelligence cause her to be more aware of things around her therefore causing her to be more anxious? Is it hard to keep her from getting bored?

How about I start then? My second grader reads (and comprehends) at a seventh grade level. He is fascinated by wildlife and meteorology will correct you on the different species of frogs and the proper names of clouds. But he has no clue how to raise his hand and ask to use the bathroom in class. Or remember to turn in his homework. He couldn't understand why he needed to wear a coat when it was 30 degrees out, yet recognizes the egg sack of a spider and knows not to touch it. If he becomes a professor someday, he will be the proverbial absent-minded one. He's also in speech therapy because of slight pervasion language disorder.

My biggest issue with him this year was his flaky teacher who decided he was a disorganized kid (true) who wouldn't pay attention (not true - he does pay attention, just doesn't appear to be.) The biggest problem I think was that since he didn't require a lot of attention from her as he was doing so well academically on his own and is not a trouble-maker, that she just didn't make an effort with him or give him the right attention. And he knew she wasn't paying close attention to him so manipulated that situation. The speech therapist even intervened and told the teacher that we were parents who were willing to work with her on issues if she let us in on them - but we wouldn't hear of issues except for notes on the report card that he wasn't turning in homework, or not even that (I had to hear it from the ST that he wasn't doing his journal work - b/c the teacher didn't check it.)

Would I consider him special needs? No. He's special, that's for sure. And he does require creative parenting. Maybe others would classify him as having special needs, and that's okay, but I don't see it in him.
monday's child is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 07:06 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by monday's child
I was under the impression that Special Needs was a sub-forum of Parenting, and that Gifted Kids would just be a sub-forum of Parenting as well. I could be wrong, but that's the impression I got b/c people brought up the same issue that you did - that putting it as a sub-forum of SN's would cause issues.
It's been suggested a couple of different ways- either as you say above, OR as Special Needs then with a subforum under it of Gifted (which IMO would be the most accurate way to do it, though either is fine with me)

HowEVER it is done I think we need some no-nonsense stickies protecting mamas who post there from flaming, etc.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
Old 07-14-2006, 07:25 PM
 
krissi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,001
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Of course their feelings should be considered. I have no desire to cause hurt to anyone. However, what if we're given a sub-forum under special needs- will that cause the same hurt? Will we be right back here a year from now with the same argument? Because a year ago this discussion was had, we were allowed threads in SN and here we are. We didn't go into other threads and "brag" we were in our own thread. It's the mere presence of that thread that is causing hurt. How will a forum not do the same?
All this stuff doesn't bother me on the same level as it does for some people but I do agree that parents of gifted children deserve their own forum. Yes, I believe gifted children have special needs and special challenges. I do not think they have a whole lot of similarity to the challenges of children with disabling special needs, which is all the more reason why they deserve their own forum.

Here's another analogy. I moderate a miscarriage forum on another site. I once dealt with a problem that someone had a signature file in that forum that had a photo of a baby. Some members were upset. Images of babies in someplace that is supposed to be a support forum causes pain for some women who have had miscarriages. So I asked people to disable their signatures and not post photos of babies in that forum. Members would never have gone on the rest of the site and demanded that no one be allowed to post photos of babies anywhere and that babies not be allowed to exist, but they wanted that forum to be free of photos of babies because it hurt them to see reminders of what they did not have. I did not think it was an unreasonable request.

I think that's what people here are saying. Not that parents of gifted children shouldn't dare to exist and have a place to post, but they want this forum to be for special needs of the disabling variety. I haven't seen anyone saying that parents of gifted children shouldn't have a place to post at all. I would think a dedicated forum would be much more supportive for parents of gifted children too so that they shouldn't feel obligated to restrict all of their posts to one or two threads...and they could also feel free to discuss their children's accomplishments without offending anyone.

I know gifted children have special needs. I was a gifted child. I test with an IQ of 140 on a bad day and 160 when my brain is working at full capacity. I wouldn't call it a disability but I would call it a major source of stress. I hated school and only completed college because I discovered distance learning. I can't stand to work in an office because I struggle greatly with typical social interaction. I have trouble talking to people, even DH sometimes, because I can't formulate my thoughts into spoken words so I come across in person as being weird because I can't engage in friendly chit chat without sounding and feeling totally awkward and don't have a whole lot of interest in that type of conversation, which has always made it hard to make friends even online. So I know there are plenty of special needs involved in being gifted. But my view of the term "Special Needs" when I hear it is that it is the PC term for what used to be called "handicapped" or "delayed" or "disabled." Giftedness is a different kind of special needs than the former and these parents deserve their own space.
krissi is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off