Just left Family Fun Day in tears! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-22-2003, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought I'd post at this board, since I think all of you mommas probably know what I am feeling right now.

A little background. DS is 2 and have very limited speech. He is in ST, but I am not thrilled with it. He is just starting to repeat words. We also think he has some sensory issues, as he is so rough with kids for no reason. He has an OT eval scheduled for 4/1. And finally, he has been having seizure like fits, where he looses control of his body, falls down and shakes. He is scheduled for an MRI and and EEG next month.

Our city had a Kite Day in the park today and we went as a family (DH, DS and I). DS was having a ball, and so was DH - who usually has to be dragged to things like this. We ate lunch, played on the playground and then attempted to fly a kite. Ds had a blast chasng me around as I tried to fly a kite. And then he ran over to another kid and grabbed his shirt for no reason. I apologized and redirected him. DS then ran over to a little girl, around 18 mos) and just pulled her hair so hard. She was crying, I am pulling DS off of her, her mom is chastising him, I am saying sorry. Finally, I get DS away from her, and we leave the park. During the long walk to my car, I still hear the little girl crying. DS is clueless - he is still having a fun day at the park. I held on until I got in the car and then I just started crying. I cried all the way home. Why does he do this? What is wrong with my son? I can never enjoy playgroups or anything, wondering when he is going to attack another child.

On top of this, his teacher sent home a note yesterday that he was being aggressive at school (he goes to Montessorui daycare 3 days per week) and she wants to schedule a conference.

What can I do about this unprovoked "aggression"? I am not going to hit him. I redirect, apologize, nothing works!

Thanks for letting me vent that all out.

Jenn - sad mommy today of a sweet boy (unless he is around kids)

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#2 of 8 Old 03-23-2003, 03:56 AM
 
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your son sounds like he may act aggressively when he's overstimulated~ he was having FUN & probably wanted to "make friends" w/ the other kids. WE know pulling hair is not the way to do that, but your son has to learn. plus if he has limited speech he can't tell the little girl, i want to be your friend; what's your name?

does that make sense? i gat teary eyed reading about how you cried all the way home. YOU know your son is not mean, or bad. please post after his evals. i hope the therapists can give you lots of info & help!

take care, jenny
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#3 of 8 Old 03-23-2003, 09:44 AM
 
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(((Jenn)))) Big hugs to you.
Some kids with sensory issues really can not tell the difference between "soft touch" and hurting someone They hit when they mean to pat, pull hair when they really meant to just touch it.. Therapy does do wonders for sensory issues.
I agree with joesmom, in that I feel he was trying to make friends with those children, but with his age and some of his "issues" is at a loss as to how.
Please let us know how he makes out on 4/1
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#4 of 8 Old 03-23-2003, 01:05 PM
 
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Hi BensMom,
The thing that popped out at me from your post was that DS has problems with speech, and that he is aggressive. I don't know if your speech therapist has told you this, but it is not at all uncommon for children who have difficulty communicating verbally to become highly frustrated and to use physicality to express themselves. For the sake of your DS, sit by yourself awhile and think if this makes sense to you. For him, communication may consist of everyone using a language he understands (words) but can not respond in. What's a two-year-old to do? Of course he is going to resort to a language that's available to him. (Physical interaction.)
When he starts to lose it from over-stimulation, can you pull him out of the activity until he's back in control, THEN if you need to take him home it's not a case of being dragged kicking and screaming to the car. It can make all the difference to him to leave calmly, if he can manage it. If he can't, of course, sometimes it's better to just cut your losses and run.
Chin up; don't compare how your family works to other moms with children the age of your DS. That's just my advice. Do what YOU need to do with DS. Bright blessings from one who's been there, Calgal
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#5 of 8 Old 03-23-2003, 02:02 PM
 
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although he is VERY verbal: , if he is playing w/his cousins, 4.5 & 2.5, he does really well 98% of the time. but he likes to make up stories, if james, the older one, won't listen to the story, or is purposely trying to agitate joe by teasing, joe has been biting him. which is not ok, but it only happens when he feels like james is not listening to him. hasn't done it in a while, hopefully he's over it, but it fits w/ the whole frustration/ over-stimulation thing.

love, jenny
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#6 of 8 Old 03-23-2003, 02:21 PM
 
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{{{Bensmom}}}
The other moms here have already said what I was going to. The combination of sensory issues and speech problems can definately lead to problems like this. I have learned with my kids that they can only take a short period of stimulating fun (like the park day you went to). Our motto on such trip is "Leave while everyone is still happy". We have found that cutting the fun short helps us to keep the experience good for all, even when we feel like we can handle more.
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#7 of 8 Old 03-24-2003, 04:29 PM
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and just to add...some kids just don't get "it". By it I mean social cues/appropriateness. I have 2 like that. If you breath stinks or you have a pimple you better believe they are going to tell you! LOL! I think the other moms are right about the speech-thing causing frustration, however if you don't get teh results/feedback you want just keep plugging away. My chidlren were in Early Intervention for 2.5 years and never properly diagnosed. Whne they were 4-4.5 they were FINALLY diagnosed with PDD-now things are startig to work out a bit better.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-24-2003, 04:35 PM
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and just to add...some kids just don't get "it". By it I mean social cues/appropriateness. I have 2 like that. If you breath stinks or you have a pimple you better believe they are going to tell you! LOL! I think the other moms are right about the speech-thing causing frustration, however if you don't get teh results/feedback you want just keep plugging away. My chidlren were in Early Intervention for 2.5 years and never properly diagnosed. Whne they were 4-4.5 they were FINALLY diagnosed with PDD-now things are startig to work out a bit better.
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