If one more person says "oh I'm so sorry" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-14-2006, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Why do people think they have to apologize for my son being autistic?????

I have this happen all the time. here is how a conversation went at the hospital today while DS had his blood drawn and she was on the thrid needle stick and not only did DS not flinch or cry he did not respond correctly to her question.

it went like this..

her: how old are you?
Me: oh he is 4.5
her: wow he sure is a brave boy!
Me: yea he is a brave boy.
her: is he deaf?
me: no he hears fine he has autism
her: Oh honey i am SOOOO SORRY!
me: why would you be sorry????? he is a fantastic little boy who is very happy and loving and each day is another learning experince for the both of us. please dont feel sorry for me because I have an autistic child. Be sorry for the people who have no idea what it is and apologize.
Be sorry that our world is over medicating, over vaxing, and poluting the world so badly that 1 in every 166 child are diagnosed with autism.
I would never say I am sorry because your child has brown hair insead of blonde so dont say you are sorry for something you didnt do.

I did this in the lab at the hospital which is connected to the VAX clinic and by the time I was done every one was listening...

I also let her know that instead of being sorry be informed!!!!


ok off of my
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#2 of 9 Old 11-14-2006, 10:46 PM
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Ahem to all that!
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#3 of 9 Old 11-14-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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Good for you.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#4 of 9 Old 11-14-2006, 11:16 PM
 
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good for you for having the courage to say all that. I just say Eli is shy rather than explain why he won't take a chip from someone or talk to most folks.
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#5 of 9 Old 11-15-2006, 01:32 AM
 
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Another thing she should have been sorry for is saying such a rude, insulting thing in front of your child!

Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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#6 of 9 Old 11-15-2006, 06:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree with that mamarhu....
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#7 of 9 Old 11-15-2006, 10:48 AM
 
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Good, maybe you inspired a mom to go do a little more research before sticking their kids!:

I have never said sorry to any parent, but I have sympathized with them when they explain how hard and frustrating things can get. I get more frustrated with the system, all the experts, who can't give me any definate answers, but of course they are paid well to be expert and not knowing.

Wonder what she was sorry for? perhaps she was sorry she didn't know what to say. i'm sure she will think twice after that tongue lashing.
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#8 of 9 Old 11-15-2006, 01:19 PM
 
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Nice job Mama! sup

I get sorry all the time.. I know they are just trying to be nice (I hope) but it irks me too.

The one that irks me more is:
"I would have never known she had Autism if you didn't tell me."
Ugh!
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#9 of 9 Old 11-15-2006, 02:37 PM
 
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Even as someone who has no experience with autism or any kind of special needs, I can see how frustrating that must be for you.

But would you mind giving me a heads up about what would be an appropriate response when someone tells you their child has autism? Is it best to simply say, "Oh" or is there some ideal thing that you wish everyone would say? Would you rather the person not make any comment at all?

Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but I can tell you're really annoyed by what happened, and I while I would never (I hope!!) tell any parent I was "sorry" about their kid's condition, I'd also be a little unsure of how exactly to respond.
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