3 yr old not asking/ understanding why? - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-17-2006, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd will be three tomorrow. She started in speech therapy at 14 months and made such great strides that she was discharged from the EI program at 2 1/2. However, the one thing that still bothers me is that she doesnt ask why questions. She was late asking other kinds of questions too (not until about 2 1/2 did she ask her first question). But what REALLY bothers me the most is that she doesnt even seem to understand why questions. For instance, the other day she kept picking up toys and throwing them at her little sister. (Not in an angry way; in a silly way.) My dh asked her several times to stop doing that/ if she wanted to throw something to throw a ball/ etc. After the third time, he made her sit in time out. (I know lots dont agree with it; we dont use it often, but it does seem to work fairly well for our family right now. Usually.) After two minutes, she got up and we asked her why she was in time out. Total look of befuddlement. She just repeated, "Daddy made me." So I said, "Anna, you were in time out because you threw toys at your sister. Why were you in time out?" Total befuddlement. She could not answer a why question that had just been told. This is not the only instance; many not involving her doing anything wrong. (She falls down in her room and is crying; Im not in the room with her. I ask her, "Anna, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" She just says, "Baby kitty (who she's pretending to be) is crying." I finally get out from her 18 month old sister that she fell down jumping on the bed.) She consistently doesnt get this. Now that shes almost three tho, it seems odder to me. She was just evaluated by the speech dept of the public school bc of her previous EI therapy and did very well. Its just this one issue. Any ideas?
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Old 11-17-2006, 06:22 PM
 
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My son is going to be 4 next week and he does not ask why questions either, he never has...I asked his teacher ( he is in an ESE program at the elementary school with developemental,speech delayed and autistic children)
and she says he is not developmentally where I think he is yet...that it will come in time. but its a neuroligical delay..I do the same thing..I will tell him something and then ask for the answer I just gave him and he will just look at me or look away and laugh..I guess I don't really have a good answer for you just wanted to say I know what your going through.
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:58 PM
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Reasoning is a four year old skill, so maybe it's a bit early. Plus, the cause-effect thing in discipline situations is the hardest for any child, let alone for someone who is not quite there yet. My son didn't always realise why exactly he is being disciplined even as a teenager! 'Daddy made me' is actually a very good answer for this age (as far as why goes, discipline purposes aside). She is getting there, just needs some more time and maybe explaining (it is getting dark - why? - because the sun is gone; it is time to have lunch - why? - because we are hungry, etc...)
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:41 PM
 
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My 4-yr old son doesn't ask or seem to understand "why" either.

Canadian mom to Boo (Aug '02), Bug (Aug '04) and Bear (Dec '06).
Jesse (July '09)
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:49 PM
 
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I think maybe it's a bit early for her to understand that. My oldest is 4 1/2 and she just started answering "why" questions with more than just "Because" or "I don't know."
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