Help violent outbursts in aspergers kid - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds is 8 almost 9 and he's been violent outbursts, hitting other kids at school, threating to stab his teacher, repeatidly kicking an aide (all happened last Thursday, but have happened seperatly before). When he doesn't get what he wants his first response is anger, yelling growling threatening, slamming doors.
This morning he attacked me because he was tired and didn't want to get ready for school. I ended up having to pin him down on the floor to get him to stop We have a 2 year old and two 8 month olds in the house.
DS has an asperger's dx, has weekly therapy, and a meds nurse (he's on concerta and trileptal). DH talked to the meds nurse this morning and she thinks ds might have to go to a live in facility. That's really not what I want but I don't know what to do, if he can hurt me what if he turns violent on the little ones? Meds lady said to keep him away from children and animals unsupervised for the time being; he has an appmnt with her this afternoon. She's going to try to get ahold of his therapist and talk to some other people that she knows.
I feel like a big part of his outburt today (and just about every Mon) is because he spends the weekends with his father he well, lets him do what ever he wants. Ds stays up until 10 sometimes 11pm gets up when he wants, has no chores and pretty much gets to do whatever he wants with no responsibilty or punishments. DS's father says that ds doesn't understand what he's doing so he should be punished when he does something wrong and we should just give him whatever he wants to keep him happy. Also becuase no, or very little, outbursts happen at his house that it must be something that we're doing here.

I don't know what to do. DH is in favor of sending ds to the hospital, I was this morning but for an evual maybe a couple of days inpatient but not a live in. DS is becoming dangerous and everyone is at their wits end her so things can escalate pretty quickly.

Anyone have any ideas? suggestions?

ds is with mil right now, she was a special ed aide and worked with a kid with asperger's (a non-violent asperger's kid) for years.

I know I can refuse to put him in a live in facility but how do you know if its the best thing for him? What can I do to keep him from getting so out of control?

eta: one of the twins has been sick, in the hospital a couple of times and has to go to a lot of dr's visits. We have been very concerned about him and his health and some of the stuff with ds#1 did get put on the back burner for a few months,which I'm sure didn't help any. So I don't know if that is affecting him too. The baby is doing much better btw

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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#2 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 11:47 AM
 
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wow. sorry to hear all about your situation. a few days of eval may not be a bad thing. you could gain more answers and insight thus make the best decisions for your son. but as for the live in situation...did you check it out first? some places are good and some are not. some places he would just watch tv all day, or be with older kids and not feel comfortable.

being put in a strange place isn't good for anyone's mental state IMO. but maybe a few apart for the eval will put things into a new perspective for you, father, and DS.

is he on an IEP at school? what do the teachers think?

good luck.
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#3 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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he is on an iep in school, but we're in the process of trying getting it re-evualated. What does his teacher think? I think that about sums it up.
She's not very helpful or supportive in anyway. We're still fighting the school to get him a 1:1 aide, or any aide at this point; this battle has been on going all year : We finally have an indep evual stating that he needs an aide so he isn't dangerous to himself or others, we're just waiting for an iep meeting

The actual live-in programme hasn't been discussed just the idea of it. I don't imagine that there are many, if any, live in programmes for children his age.

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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#4 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.

The only thought I have is the school situation....many high functioning kiddos have a lot of trouble in the school. Often they won't tell an adult what is happening and I've read several biographies of aspergers kiddos that indicate big problems start as kids get older. Is he being bullied by any chance? Just being a school/social situation you cannot handle could be enough to cause all this I would think. On the other hand, I'd be looking at the meds to see if aggression is a side effect...and have you ever considered either enzymes to help with gluten casien or a trial of removing them from the diet?

Just random thoughts from someone who hasn't been in that situation or even has a child that age. I just can't read and not say something and sometimes even if another person's thoughts aren't especially helpful they can make you think of something that is. I'm so sorry and hope you can figure out the very best thing for him.

Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys! 

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#5 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 06:50 PM
 
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Sheri. I'm so sorry you are going through this. One thing I know you don't need right now.

One thought - it seems like the school is a big issue right now. Is there anyway you could pull him out for awhile and see if things settle down? Maybe he's coming from a calm, relaxed weekend and having some anxiety about the school week coming up that he knows is going to be hard.

That's my only thought and please disregard it if it's unhelpful. I don't know if this would be of any use, but Violet's doctor specializes in Asperger's - maybe she could do a phone consult or something?
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#6 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 06:58 PM
 
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to you!

My son has verbal outbursts when his routine is disrupted. Maybe the lack of structure at his dad's and coming home - that transition might just be too much for him and he is acting out.

My son is now 12 and he feels better if he can keep a schedule book/dry erase board with his schedule for the week. We sometimes get very very detailed. He said it helps him feel good knowing exactly what is coming next.

My son tends to yell and be hateful verbally. He has threatened other children twice at school when he was bullied verbally and older children were making fun of him. Perhaps you can check into that in his school?

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#7 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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MY Ds has outbursts as well. What has really helped is keeping a reliable schedule and providing that to him. Transitions and inconsitency trigger his outbursts. Also having sensory stimuli available helps a lot as well. Does he have sensory integration issues at all or has he been evaluated for it? A lot of Autistic/Aspegers kids also deal with Sensory issues that can conflict and set off outbursts as well.

Hugs! I JUST got our school to finish everything and come up with a game plan for my DS so I don't have much classroom advice yet. Hopefully I will soon and can reply more with whats working for us.

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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#8 of 9 Old 03-19-2007, 11:42 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. We're dealing with some aggression in our 4yrold Aspie right now that's really hard to take. We're going to be putting him on meds soon because of his ADHD...hoping the focus will help him learn to use different behavior. BUT...the doc did mention that some stimulants actually enhance aggression. I'm sure you've already thought of this...but thought I'd mention it.

I'll be thinking of you...
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#9 of 9 Old 03-20-2007, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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His meds were changed recently. After spending all day yesteday helping my il's pack, he looked tired when we picked him up he looked tired but after we gave him his nightime dose he was wide awake. I ended up having oto give him some benadryl at 9:30 to get him to sleep I'm starting to think we're having major meds issues and maybe it isn't all his father's fault (though the lack of routine there doesn't help : )

We've tried the dairy free/glueten free thing and that didn't make any diffrence

DH dropped the full evual off at the school this morning and they looked it over quickly and said it looks like there's going to have to be a lot of changes made. Hopefully they actually do.

He does have sid and has ot for that in school, with the new iep we're going to push to get that upped from 1x/wk to daily.

I think there is a bullying/picking on situation going on in school too DS is not very good with the who/what/when/why/etc questions so its hard to get more out of him than "I don't like X" or "X is mean"
Another thing we're going to push for at the iep meeting is for him to come out of his classroom.

Annie, thanks for the offer We gave a copy of his report to mil who is going to bring it over to her old boss (at the special ed office) to look at and give recs based on what she would want if ds were her child. MIL's school had a few AS kids, there was only one who they couldn't keep under control and he ended up at a special school for as kids. MIL is going to get us info on that school too.
MIL has also been taking ds quite a bit since she was a 1:1 aide for an AS kid. One BIL is a paranoid schiphrenic and socicopath so she has experience with violent kids too.

DH also has a call in to the meds nurse to talk about the meds today so maybe we'll get some more answers there

Thank you all for the support. It just seems like everything has exploded at once

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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