I am really starting to suspect that I have either Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, or something like that. So much of what I read fits me to a T. There's a few things that do not, like the lack of empathy part. I am overwhelmed with empathy and all kinds of feelings that I don't know how to control. Does that fit into it somehow?
Does having Aspergers typically mean you'll be a more difficult child? I know some mamas that have a hard time with their Aspie kids, but I was an extremely easy child, especially when I was really young. I still exhibited those behaviours though, but I always did what I was told. Some of my most clear memories are now the same things that are making me wonder about this. I remember CONSTANTLY correcting my mom when she called the margarine "butter", except I would tell her that she had to call it "parkay" because that's what it said on the lid (that was the brand). That type of thing really bothers me, and it really bothered me then. I have such memories of being extremely literal as a child, and always having to correct people as well. I still do this all the time, but I try really hard not to, when it doesn't seem appropriate. But it's REALLY hard-- it's definitely a compulsion to correct somebody when I know they're wrong. Spelling in particular, not that I'm perfect by any means, but if I know it's wrong, it drives me CRAZY.
Don't even get me started on the social part. I always figured I had social anxiety, but right now this is making better sense to me. I can't keep eye-contact to save my life, especially once I'm thinking about it. I have a very hard time knowing what to say to people or what is appropriate.
I over-analyze the crap out of everything. My brain never shuts up. I've had troubles sleeping since I was a kid.
I don't seem to know my own strength, and have always ran short-distances sporadically for no real reason.
I have a tendancy to get attached to people or things. To this day, I can't sleep very well without a particular blanket that I've slept with since I was a baby. If I'm going to be sleeping somewhere besides at home, I will always take it with me.
I am very sensitive to both light and noise. Music is EXTREMELY important to me, and the only thing that I like loud. Otherwise, loud noises upset me. I have a very hard time going out in the light without my sunglasses.
I HATE being interrupted when I'm doing something. If I'm doing something that I feel is important, I will just get upset. And I have a really hard time going back to what i was doing if I am interrupted. Likewise, I cannot STAND to repeat myself. I almost can't even do it. It takes a great deal of effort to even make the attempt to repeat myself.
My interests are very different than most people's. I don't care about what's fashionable or "in" whatsoever, and don't find the typical things attractive. I see beauty in strange places. Models look like NOTHING to me. I look at the supposedly "attractive" people in tv, movies, and magazines, and see nothing. I can't explain it other than to say that I just don't see anything at all.
I have always felt very different than everyone else.
I have always mumbled a great deal. Lots of people have trouble understanding me. I can't even tell when I'm doing it. No matter how many times I am reminded that I am doing it, I don't realise it. I also apparently often make a sound at the end of my sentences that I can't even hear. My DP points this out to me sometimes, but I seriously can't tell that I'm doing it.
I could go on... Honestly, I'm in shock about how much a lot of this really fits. But then there's some things that don't make sense to me, like the empathy part, and being a well-behaved child.
Anyway, I just had to say something here, because all of a sudden I just don't know what to think...
Edit: Just a few other things that reading other's posts reminded me of.
I read very early on. I know I could read by age 3, and was reading at a 5th-grade reading-level by kindergarten.
I can't stand it when dp starts stroking my leg or arm or something. It HURTS. He doesn't usually seem to believe me.
I almost can't make phone calls to people/places I don't know. Especially if it's to make an appt or talk about a bill or something. I have to spend a great deal of time picturing where I'm calling (like, what it looks like there), and what i will say. Over and over again.
I like words, word games, puzzles, numbers, etc, a lot. Logic games that combine these things will likely keep me very busy.
I have to do things to match my moods. What I eat, read, what film I watch, what clothes I wear (and I do tend to wear the same thing a lot for a period of time) all depend on my mood.
I should really stop myself there... Thanks a million if you read all this.
Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!