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Dh filing a complaint against his boss w/human resources

11K views 164 replies 39 participants last post by  shelbean91 
#1 ·
Dh thinks he's being discriminated against b/c of Jake's autism.

I don't think I posted the back story, but Shawn has been working at the same place for almost 6 years. Jake was dx'd w/autism about 2 1/2 years ago. I was a FT student until I graduated last May and last August I began working FT as a teacher, so if something came up, we had to alternate days off.

Shawn hasn't missed an extraordinary amount of work, either to care for Jake or any other reason, but one day last Nov, his boss commented about 'all this time off, maybe having another position (he's a supervisor) would be a good idea'. He felt his job was threatened, so he filed for FMLA protection for anything related to Jake. Jake has therapy every day of the week and we're very limited in care options b/c of the autism (and he's a flight risk) so either dh or I need to take off if our regular provider (mil) or our 2 backups are ill or need a day off for whatever reason.

The day after he filed for the FMLA protection, his boss changed his schedule (from days to nights) and his responsibilities (essentially making him not supervising as many people or functioning as a supervisor). He waited it out from last Nov/Dec to now to see if it was temporary changes (as he was told) or what. He was also told last Nov (before the FMLA was filed) that he would be promoted this summer (no real job changes, but only title change that would make him bonus eligible and give a little raise). No proof of this and his boss seems to be not willing to do this and she's really the only one who needs to approve/deny the promotion.

So, he went to HR today and told the story. He's got a meeting with her today to see the status of his job position, responsibilities, and promotion. We're fairly certain she's going to tell him no, and he's got to deal with it. (She's made other people quit by making them so miserable).

I've checked with the EEOC and dh is protected b/c he's a responsible caregiver of a person with a disability. I think that she thinks he's a white male under 40 so can't be discriminated against and is doing all she can to make him quit. He doens't want to- this is a good company with good benefits and he's now been here longer than any other company. He wants his old responsibilites and schedule back (and this promotion he was told he would get- but there's no proof of that, so we'll see).

I'm really nervous about this. I know we're in the right, but I can't depend on the HR dept doing the right thing. His boss has been there for a LONG time. he's meeting with her right now. I'll update later.

Any support or suggestions would be great!
 
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#132 ·
I'm on my way to bed- last couple of days crazy with school.

After he found out all the reviews had been given, he emailed his boss. She tried to set up a meeting, he said he just wants to confirm the status of the raise. She said he needs the official review and can't talk about it on the phone. Fine. He said he needs HR present, then changed his mind and told her he just wants the review ASAP. Well, now she's decided she wants a meeting w/HR, dh, her and her boss. This can't be good- what good can possibly come from this situation? NONE. So, he emailed HR and bosslady's boss stating he hopes this isn't a meeting to discuss the discrimination, only the review. He wants the review. He doesn't want to discuss the discrimination w/everyone in the room b/c it will end up with a bunch of accusations and he said/she said pissing contest stuff.

So, he has a meeting w/HR alone (she has a question for him, she said-no idea what) tomorrow (Wed) and with boss, boss's boss, and HR on Thursday. He's then off on Fri. He's going to tell them he's filing the complaint and if they end up doing the right thing, he'll drop it, but until then- he has to proceed.

Students return to school tomorrow, (I've been getting set up all week) so I probably won't be back to check in until Friday, but I will post as soon as I can.

Thanks for thinking of us, I appreciate the support.
 
#134 ·
Ok, hr asked him if the first time he asked about FMLA was the email he forwarded to her- he said yes. That was the question for today. Tomorrow is the full on meeting. It's actually only minorly about the review- HR said this is the next step in the process and she can't do anything else without this meeting. So, he will meet with them and not say anything. I told him he can't just say nothing. Bosslady is going to be on major defensive and he WILL be attacked (hopefully not as bad in front of HR, but it will happen). This will be the first direct contact with her (and her boss) on the issue.

On Friday- unless this is settled TOMORROW, he will be calling EEOC to do the intake of the case. I think he'll call a lawyer and set up a consult as well.

This is such a roller coaster- sometimes it seems so good, sometimes so bad. I just want it done.
 
#135 ·
The meeting for today with everyone today was cancelled b/c boss's boss was still out of town (was supposed to be back in yesterday). Dh talked to HR and asked basically what was going on- she said she didn't see what he was claiming and they needed to have a big meeting to discuss. She said the bosslady had emailed her 'not long' before dh filed for FMLA to ask about his 'chronic illness' (he called out 2x in 1 week b/c of a sore throat). IMO, that proves our case even more, but she didn't see it that way. So, he's having the official 'you suck' meeting on Monday. He already has an appt set up with the EEOC on the 31st of the month.

He did think up a 'win-win' situation that he mentioned to hr today- his dept is getting bigger- there are 2 basically separate entities in the 1 dept and one of those entities are getting large enough to split off on it's own. He said bosslady won't be able to keep working w/dh, so if they split, he can have the 1, she can have the other and they'll be equals. She can still be miserable, but at least won't effect his career path.

So, I was REALLY pissed off when I heard the meeting was cancelled. He's calm about the whole thing and I've calmed down, too. We have the EEOC meeting, we'll call a lawyer (or the EEOC will provide one if they feel it's justified).
 
#139 ·
I'm pretty sure they wouldn't allow a lawyer at the meeting- since it's only an internal investigation. I'll suggest it, but I think HR being there is the closest thing to a neutral party. It looks like we're going to have to really fight this- though we're not really surprised.

That's ok- at this point, it's just bosslady, with them denying the discrimination, that makes them guilty as well, so we can go after both. And, maybe dh will either be able to get a better job there (not likely, I know) or a job closer to home. As of right now, he drives an hour each way to work.
 
#142 ·
It is a very common misconception that HR personnel are either neutral or on the worker's side. The very opposite is true. HR persons are hired to protect the interests of the company.

I also want to warn about your DH signing any papers or being told to write a statement. Have either of those items looked over very carefully by your own lawyer. I myself was a victim of discrimination in my last job, but in my hurt and haste I signed a document that eventually led to my NOT being able to win a suit.

All the best. I've been checking in on this thread and have been and will be rooting for you.
 
#144 ·
We know HR isn't neutral and they're out to protect the company. Of course, they're out to protect the company. The problem is by not doing anything, they're now condoning the discrimination and will be part of the lawsuit instead of just bosslady being named.

He's got an appt for the EEOC and we're still looking for a lawyer. He won't sign anything and if they offer anything, he 'will think about it for a while and get back' with them.

Thanks all for the support. I have to say, I'm not surprised- just a bit disappointed. I was hoping they'd see what a clear cut case this is and manage it appropriately. Anyone outside of the company will be able to see it- counter point or not. It's just a matter of time.
 
#148 ·
He had the meeting today- couldn't give me much detail b/c he had just gotten out and was still at work, of course. He's going to call me from his cell on his lunch break. It was pretty much what we thought it would be, from what I could get out of him, but I really want details. Most likely it was a huge, heaping pile of horse shit trying to keep them out of trouble, but we know what it really is and will go forward w/EEOC.
 
#151 ·
Well, pretty major update here. Everything went as we thought it would- 'explanations' for everything that's happened. If these 'explainations' had existed before today, we probably wouldn't have been there b/c the boss's boss was very convincing. So, appt w/eeoc will be kept. If the explanations are true, there are valid reasons for everything, the only thing is these 'explainations' only came up b/c of this discrimination issue. (I'm really tired, hope that makes some sort of sense).

HOWEVER- apparently, there is a rumor (though from a very reliable source) that there will be MAJOR oursourcing, including dh's dept and most others by years end. This is good news for him b/c he's been wanting to find something closer to home and he has the opportunity to look while still employed, which is always nice. Bosslady won't know what hit her if/when that happens and I derive a sick pleasure in knowing that. I don't like to wish ill will on anyone, but what comes around goes around, yk?

Of course, it's ALL speculation at this point. But, I told dh we should at least keep the eeoc appt and decide what to do from there. He's at peace with the situation (for now) and I'm not going to push him. As long as he's happy (content) at work, that's enough for me.

Of course, if anything else comes up- I'll post, but it sounds like it's going to be dropped, except for the eeoc filing. Hopefully, it will follow bosslady wherever she goes.
 
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