Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with Irishmommy
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Well, if you mean he truly never has any regard for anyone else... that doesn't sound normal. But you did say he says sorry and kisses you if he accidentally hurts you, and that sounds really perceptive on his part.
You described my ds perfectly when he was 18 mos -2 years and 3/4. And he doesn't have autism.
We never spanked or hit, but he seemed to lack a regard for other people much of the time at that age. He would hit and shove and hurt playmates (and us) for no reason at all. All the time. When I talked to him about it I never seemed to get through.
Ds outrgew this by 3, after we had been working on it for a long, long time.
Sorry if this isn't more helpful. I just wanted to point out that the actual behaviour *can* happen in a child who is not autistic. I think with ds, he had many traumatic medical procedures done to him by the time he was 18 months old (heart related) and he may have just not known how to process it all.
But I have talked with moms of kids with *no* medical history, and they went through this too.
I guess if I saw a child doing this still by 4 or 5, I would be more comfortable saying "Okay, probably not normal". I just can't say by 3.
I agree that you should go with your instinct. If you really feel an overall lack of connectedness, I would check that out. When ds wasn't being aggressive, I did feel very connected with him. So maybe that is a better way to assess your situation with your ds? Not just that behaviour (awful that it is), but the overall relationship?
Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray