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Old 10-23-2007, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Now really. It's JUST a schoolbus. But next fall, Mark will attend the school district's early childhood program when he ages out of the EI system, and he'll qualify for bus transportation based on how far away we live from the facility. My husband immediately says "no child of mine is riding the short bus". : Geeeeeeeez. Damn it, I WANT him on that bus. I won't have to truck out to town every morning and screw up Jeff's morning nap, and it will drop him directly in front of our house, so he'll never be walking home in the rain or snow. Hell, I'd PAY for the short bus if I had to!!
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Old 10-23-2007, 04:56 PM
 
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Bah! We can't even get the short bus out here. DS rides the shortest bus of all: a taxi, paid for every day by the school board. That's tax dollars at work right there.
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Old 10-23-2007, 05:34 PM
 
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I am sure that my feelings will change later on, but I can't bring myself to put DD on the bus. I just feel odd about the fact that there are no car seats and that while they have restraints............it just does not sit well with me.

I don't know.

Perhaps when she is more verbal and can tell me what is going on, I may consider the bus.

Also, they do not have AC here. And in the summer there are times it can be 110+ on the bus. She has temperature regulation problems and that spells a trip to the hospital.
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Old 10-23-2007, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do believe that our "short busses" have seatbelts, and I KNOW they have an extra adult that rides with them to keep them all settled and in their seats. Still, I doubt Mark will ride next fall, even though I want him to.
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Old 10-23-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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Wait, since you're the one who has to drop him off, can't you have the majority vote as to whether or not he takes the bus?

Maybe I'm not a nice person, but I would tell my dh that either our son takes the "short bus" or HE (dh) drives the kid back and forth to school.

Or maybe he needs some counseling to deal with the fact that his son has special needs.

Or maybe he should know that around here, kids who go to headstart ride a short bus because they're LITTLE and they have an aide.

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Old 10-23-2007, 09:09 PM
 
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Maybe it's just the very thought that's a bit much for your dh right now. I mean, riding the short bus tends to place a pretty definite label on your kid, at least around here.

I remember when we were getting my daughter's first wheelchair. I put it off until she was 3 1/2 and I could finally admit that a kid who couldn't even stand up was probably not walking anytime soon lol. And then I couldn't think of it as a wheelchair; it was a "wheeled mobility device" for a long time. I almost burst into tears when her wheelchair arrived from the vendor; it stated a reality that I had to face. Now, of course, I love her wheelchair for what it does---it gives Michaela mobility that she otherwise wouldn't have. Sure, it also proclaims that here is a person who can't walk, but I don't care about that so much. That's just a part of who Michaela is.

So the short bus (my son rides one) does make a statement. But, as you know, it also provides a great service, one for which I am very, very thankful. Hopefully, in time, your dh can get past (or maybe just accept) what the little yellow bus represents, and appreciate it for the valuable service it offers to your family. Or, if not, I'd suggest what someone else did, and give him the choice of driving your son to and from school.

BTW, our short buses have seat belts and carseats, for those who need them. There is also always the option of getting a bus aide, should that be needed. Another thing...I'd honestly rather have my son ride the short bus with his buddies than ride a typical schoolbus with typical kids, because I *know* that's he'd get some laughs, teasing, and behind-his-back comments.

Joni and kids, incl. Michaela, 10, poppin' wheelies in her purple chair, and Gabriel, 8, T21 and autism, lovin' the shortie bus
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Old 10-23-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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Would he ride a special needs bus for sure? My NT ds2 goes to the same preschool his Aspie brother went to. Ds2 rides the same bus that ds1 would have rode if I didn't transport him myself. It has harnesses, an attendant and all of that. The bus does not have AC but I just go pick him up on very hot days.
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Old 10-23-2007, 09:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
Wait, since you're the one who has to drop him off, can't you have the majority vote as to whether or not he takes the bus?

Maybe I'm not a nice person, but I would tell my dh that either our son takes the "short bus" or HE (dh) drives the kid back and forth to school.

Or maybe he needs some counseling to deal with the fact that his son has special needs.

Or maybe he should know that around here, kids who go to headstart ride a short bus because they're LITTLE and they have an aide.
Well, we're "new" to all this. Mark JUST got his Early Intervention IFSP yesterday, and it's all moved very quickly for my husband. I, otoh, couldn't seem to push it along fast enough. It's the concept - when he and I grew up, we cracked jokes about the short bus. He doesn't need counseling, he just needs a little time to internalize everything.
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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I rode a short bus for a few years. Just sayin'.:
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Old 10-24-2007, 01:00 AM
 
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IDK - but in our school district - the "short bus" is for SN school aged kids, and head start - because they are equiped with safety restraints (it's a harness system - instead of car seats for the headstart/preschool kids). I would find out if other preschool kids in the district also ride the "short bus"... and help make it less a stigmia thing. Besides - at least around here - kids that age won't "get it" that it might just be a bus for SN students.

Also - maybe you can take your DC in to school in the am - and ride the bus home?

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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Old 10-24-2007, 11:11 AM
 
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Where we live, the buses tend to be more short than long. Shorter buses equal less students equal shorter routes. If it helps, I've found that the more senior, experienced drivers are on the short buses. They're considered more desirable routes, and so you tend to get the really fantastic, responsible drivers.

There is a stigma, and that's hard, but I'd use the bus for a while and see if it really is just SN kids (nothing wrong with that!) or if there are lots of SN and NT kids coming to school on the short buses. You might be surprised.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
Maybe I'm not a nice person, but I would tell my dh that either our son takes the "short bus" or HE (dh) drives the kid back and forth to school.
That is what I would tell my DH if he had a problem with DD riding the "short bus". He has the problem he needs to be responsible for the alternative arrangements which don't include you doing the transporting.
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Old 10-24-2007, 01:12 PM
 
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I think for some people, the idea of the short bus is painful.. especially if they themselves have been guilty of making fun of it in the past. I will admit that I definatly did when I was younger. "Short bus" jokes were right there along with calling someone "retarded." They are rude, and horribly hurtful and I don't know about other people... but when I hear those words I'm reminded about how cruel I was as a child, and how it would hurt me so much to hear people saying those things around or directed to MY children now.

I can understand the reluctance to face that. Its not an easy thing.



fwiw, I would let my children ride the short bus here if they qualified to do so. So much about being a parent in general means a lot of reframing things that you thought you knew about, but really didn't.

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Old 10-24-2007, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The "short bus" IS the bus he'd ride, should we choose that option. They can't put the younger children (preschool, ages 3-5!) on the long busses with the older schoolkids, and the preschool runs at different times than the traditional schools, with a morning and afternoon session.

Those of you telling me to make DH do the transporting - please remember, we've just started this whole journey into sn parenting. We're brand slap new at it all. PLEASE try to remember your own feelings and adjustments as you found yourselves in a situation you'd never imagined, and in which you may have had little previous experience. We'll get Mark to preschool in the manner most appropriate for him, whatever that may be. The bus DOES have seatbelts, a/c and a bus aide. It's the stigma of riding the short bus that my husband doesn't want attached to his son. Surely you can appreciate that sentiment.
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Old 10-24-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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Does it help at all if your DH is reminded that this isn't the "short bus" short bus, it is the preschool transport bus? Heck, *I* take the short bus in that case.
(We have what's called a community bus for the outlying areas that is a 15-passenger van, rather than send a full-sized city bus)
The "short bus" stigma seems to apply far more in older grades. It's not like a 10 year old is going to say "haha, look at that little 3 year old! He rides the short bus!" No. Really, he wouldn't. He would probably be wondering where the swarm of ankle biters came from suddenly.
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Old 10-24-2007, 08:17 PM
 
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My Dh also won't let our son ride the bus but it's because Nate isn't verbal enough to say "Stop touching me!"

I really can't argue with that logic although it would be nice not to drive him 5miles to school and turn around 2 1/2hrs later and go get him.

Maybe in a few months your DH will change his mind
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Old 10-24-2007, 11:11 PM
 
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Sorry, my post was a little harsh for your dh.

I guess, given the way you phrased things, while I understand your husband's issues, I'm having a hard time being sympathetic to them. HE is uncomfortable with the stigma that goes with the 'short bus', and therefore, he'd rather have YOU and your other son drive into town every day, interrupt your schedules and your son's nap.

Have YOU put it this way to your husband? "I don't want to truck into town every morning, and screw up Jack's nap." If you haven't, but have only expressed these feelings here, that's a very different conversation than if you have told your dh these things and he still says "no child of mine will ride the short bus." If that's the case, then I do think that something like a support group, or group of other parents that have kids with special needs would be a good idea.

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Old 10-25-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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Are you positive it will be a "short bus"? My 3 yr old DS is SN and he rides the bus to his school because he asked to ride it. It happens to be a long bus and only picks up 10 students total. The first 2 rows of seats are car seats so my DS rides in one of those. Now he cried for about 6 weeks every time he got on the bus. Now he is fine with riding it and even looks forward most days to going for a bus ride. I chose the bus for the same reason you did. I have a newborn and the drive is only a 20 minute drive to school but since DS qualifies for services he can ride the bus which does not cost me gas or time or interrupt my newborn's nap times.

I do agree with the pp that offered a support group for other SN kids in your area. Would your husband be willing to even do this? I know I am still looking for one for us but it would definitely help us.

If not the bus, then maybe you could carpool with another SN mama if you have the room? Or maybe you could even have someone watch your sleeping baby while you drive your other son to school? That way his nap would not be interrupted. I hope you are able to find a resolution you both can agree on here.
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Old 10-25-2007, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually..................he'll probably be riding with a neighbor of ours, on the same short bus! And yes yes yes yes yes, it's always always the shorter busses for this preschool. Period. But he'll be riding with David (an NT kid who attends b/c his SN brother attended and his parents loved it as it's an inclusive preschool), and since this won't happen until springtime at the earliest, I'm not going to worry about it.
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