Sorry this will be so long mamas but I really need some help! Here is a brief back ground..
My oldest son (5.5) was diagnosed ADHD just over a year ago, through a psychologist. My husband is ADD and so we recognized the signs pretty early. He is now on strattera with some success. Prior to his dx we had him tested for speech through the school for EI, they said all of his articulation problems were age appropriate and that we had to wait and retest him in kindergarten. We also had him evaluated for motor delays for EI..same thing, typical. So now, fast forward to kindergarten.
He started school in Sept and 3 days after starting the teacher told me he was "way behind" all of the other kids. She told me that he is "inattentive" and that his speech is "behind". She also told me his motor skills were "primitive" compared to the other kids.
: At this point she hadn't even looked at his history and had no idea he was ADHD and that we had his speech tested previously. I told her and she pretty much blamed all of his "behinds" on not going to preschool. Yea we couldnt afford it and EI wouldn't provide it.
So she put in a request for evals. I went to the meeting with everyone and we agreed on a speech eval and also on OT eval because of the motor delays (I suspect sensory issues, and told them that). I gave them the records for his ADHD dx and signed consent for the evals. They have been evaluating him for the last week, here and there throughout class.
We had conferences on thursday and the teacher told us he is doing really well. He has caught up fast, learning all the things the other kids (who had preschool) already knew. She then went on to say that the problem now seems to be that he cannot get through tasks fast enough. She can only allow a certain amount of time to write their name (for example) and that he is taking too long. We need to work with him so he can follow the directions faster. Does she realize it has taken us YEARS to teach him to slow down and concentrate?
She also told us that his social skills are not "normal" she said children misinterpret his social signs. This I can understand, like I said before, I suspect sensory issues and because of that he has a hard time keeping out of personal space. But, this is not the problem..apparently my son is too "nice" or something. She told me that sometimes he will bump into a kid (yes he is clumsy, sensory issues??) and the kid will get mad at him, so my son feels bad and he hugs the other child, says hes sorry. You see the other kid is right for getting upset and my son is wrong for being "sensitive". I am REALLY ticked off!! How in the world can an empathetic, sensitive child be "not normal"!!!
He has a few boys from his class that we play with a few times a week after school, he has a great time with them but sometimes hurt feelings happen. For example at the park 2 weeks ago, one boy wanted to "play kill" my son and my son told him he didnt like that. The other boy continued "stabbing and hitting" my son until my son finally pushed him away and ran over to me. The other boy said "Elijah pushed me!" all the while my son is getting tears telling me that "he wanted to kill me and I didnt like it". So other boys mom made him apologize (you know, that forced SORRY!), and my son didnt want to have anything to do with him anymore, he simply wanted to go home. The next day they were fine, but still situations like this affect my son.
Now, the school apparently recognizes this as an issue and wants to psych eval him, they sent home these packets I need to fill out asking all about my pregnany with questions like "Was this pregnancy planned"? They also want to know ALL about his home life, family medical history, etc. I am irritated to say the least. I cannot understand why a child who actually has feelings and compassion for other people is "damaged".
: We are ready to pull him and try a new school, with a different method of learning (Montessori). We are also seriously considering homeschooling and private speech and OT, which is crazy because HS is something I always knew I never wanted to do (cause I dont feel confident in MY ability to teach him).
I need some direction mamas, opinions, I just dont know what to do. We meet for his IEP on Dec 7th. Should I fill out the forms and allow them to continue doing the evals? Should I just stop all evals and pull him out? Can I even DO that, or will they call that "neglect". We are really not comfortable with the process that is happening, however, its not something we are familiar with, is this all normal for to obtain and IEP? Thank you so much for you time and responses ladies.