The game "Trouble" is a full-contact board game in my house - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last night after Ava went to bed Alexander and I sat down to play a game of Trouble. He isn't always the easiest kid to play board games with - like most 6 year olds he wants to win. He started off doing fantastic but then I started to catch up and eventually got ahead of him. If you know about Trouble then you know it is pretty much a no-brainer type of game. You're a slave to the dice in the little popper.

Well as I started to catch up I could see his frustration mounting. He started growling, clenching his teeth, and pulling on his clothes. I reminded him that if he couldn't keep his cool then we wouldn't play a second game and that it was OK to lose a game. Well sure enough I'm about 10 spaces from winning and he's about 1/3 of the way around the board with his last piece. I pop the dice and land on the space he's occupying. That means he goes back to home base.

Next thing you know this primal scream comes out of him and he flings himself towards me like a big cat attacking an antelope. His entire body was in the air at once. As soon as he landed on me he started to pummel me while still making these weird noises. Since he's a measely 40 lbs I just lifted up my arm and he fell to the floor. This evidently upset him because next thing I knew I was being barraged by a flurry of arms and legs - ninja Alex!

At this point I just started laughing - he was absolutely out-of-control. I know the laughing didn't help but I just couldn't control it. About 15 minutes later we finally got him calmed down. Needless to say he didn't get his second game of Trouble last night.
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#2 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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Wow, sounds intense! I get some of the same with my 6-year-old DS who has some self-regulation and rigidity issues, but never quite had the same reaction. You laughed?! Good for you. Maybe not the perfect response, but I wish I would have that much perspective at times.

FWIW, my mom is a Montessori educator (and very wise woman) and she really doesn't believe in competetive games for your average 6-year-old. Maybe for your DS with special needs, you need to steer clear of competition for a few more years.

On another note, my DS is very, very sensitive to feeling inadequate about doing something. I think it stems both from his perfectionism and self-esteem issues related to his LD. Maybe self-esteem is as much the issue, as self-regulation. According to my mom, six-year-olds are their competency. They can't distinguish between its just a game to win or lose vs. I AM a winner or a loser.

I'm still wondering if I should totally steer clear of competetive games with my DS or just do them in very brief, controlled 1 on 1 settings occasionally. I'll be interested to hear others' opinions.
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#3 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We don't play a lot of competitive games because of his reactions. Part of me just doesn't want to bother at all and then part of me thinks maybe he needs to play them more. I just don't know.

He loves playing Connect Four, even if he loses. In Connect Four it might be different because he has some control over the outcome - now when we play we usually end in a tie because he's figured the game out. He has expressed a desire to play chess and for Christmas we will be getting him a chess set. He's also asked to join the chess club at school which he will after the Winter Break. I'm hoping that because Chess is a 'thinking' game that we'll be able to avoid what I saw last night.
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#4 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:10 PM
 
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I'm 35 and can't play competitive board games. I lost to my boyfriend during a game of scrabble when we first started dating and I got so mad (not yelling, but stoic, mad face, not wanting to talk to him) that I thought he was going to break up with me. It was a visceral reaction, and not something I could explain or was proud of.

A game like that just might not be fun for him (and making him play it more doesn't sound very nice.)
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#5 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
A game like that just might not be fun for him (and making him play it more doesn't sound very nice.)
FTR I don't make him play anything. He has a game closet...he went and got the game and brought it to me...it was his choice.

My comment about making him play more was a joke, hence the laughing face at the end. I'm sorry if that was misunderstood.
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#6 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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I could not handle losing when I was little. I hate hate hated games with no control like trouble. I love games like clue, connect 4, Risk, chess etc where there is almost no luck involved. Even then the competitiveness was often too much for me. My brother and I came up with a co-op way to play risk where we would both fight against a common non-player enemy that we controlled with strict rules (like playing the house at blackjack).

Oh and if you had asked me what my favorite game was as a kid I would have said "Sorry!" which is a game with very little control, and resulted in many problems for me... I didn't realize that I don't like that game and never really did till I was much older.
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#7 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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That sounds exactly like Elijah, every part of it. I don't like to play games with him anymore because that is always the result if he doesn't win.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#8 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I could not handle losing when I was little. I hate hate hated games with no control like trouble. I love games like clue, connect 4, Risk, chess etc where there is almost no luck involved. Even then the competitiveness was often too much for me. My brother and I came up with a co-op way to play risk where we would both fight against a common non-player enemy that we controlled with strict rules (like playing the house at blackjack).

Oh and if you had asked me what my favorite game was as a kid I would have said "Sorry!" which is a game with very little control, and resulted in many problems for me... I didn't realize that I don't like that game and never really did till I was much older.
This is good to know - he asked for Risk for Christmas as well. I like the co-op idea as well - if we get Risk I'll have to remember to do that.

Interesting about "Sorry!" - too bad you didn't realize you disliked it sooner, could have saved some grief hehe.
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#9 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:41 PM
 
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This is good to know - he asked for Risk for Christmas as well. I like the co-op idea as well - if we get Risk I'll have to remember to do that.
Keep in mind that I don't believe there is an "official" way to play Risk Co-op. We just basically pre-made decisions for the non-player team before the game started.

Eventually we replaced this with co-op Starcraft, a video game that is very much like Risk (although a bit more violent, and a bit more involved) that offers a co-op mode.
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#10 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Keep in mind that I don't believe there is an "official" way to play Risk Co-op. We just basically pre-made decisions for the non-player team before the game started.

Eventually we replaced this with co-op Starcraft, a video game that is very much like Risk (although a bit more violent, and a bit more involved) that offers a co-op mode.
I'm one of those "gamer girl" types. My husband is a big fan of Starcraft and is excited about the release of Starcraft II next year.
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#11 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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the release of Starcraft II next year.

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#12 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#13 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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Wow, it's so interesting that so many people find it more difficult to lose at games of chance than games of skill. I'm completely the opposite; I could never hack chess. I feel like my intelligence is being called into question.

My ds does also take it very personally when he loses, but oh, the gloating when he wins!! I'm the one who has to tell myself, it's just a game, it's just a game. . .
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#14 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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I remember giving Trouble to my niece and nephew when they were about 4 and 6. The next time I talked to my sister, her comment was: "Well, that game is aptly named! It's been nothing but trouble at our house!" (And her kids are NT.)

I remember a story about another nephew who flung some sort of board game at his sister when he lost, threw himself on the floor and began sobbing "I never win. I always lose. And it all began with Uncle Wiggly." (The first game he learned to play at my parents house.) It's really, really hard not to laugh.

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#15 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 05:36 PM
 
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losing at a game of chance is just losing. You never lose at chess, even when your king is captured, because (hopefully) you now understand the pitfall that you walked into and can learn and improve.

The greatest chess players know all the best ways to lose.

I remember when I was very young, my older brother sacrificed his queen to lure me into a 2 move checkmate trap. It was the best game I played up untill that time, because it taught me that preserving all your pieces isn't good a strategy. Calculated loss is what chess is all about, and I knew even then that if I hadn't lost to a sacrifice strategy I would have never learned that lesson.
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#16 of 21 Old 11-30-2007, 08:11 PM
 
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Wow what a night! I know what you mean about not being able to control the laughing. I wish it wasnt such an immediate responce.
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#17 of 21 Old 12-01-2007, 03:11 AM
 
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I know what you mean about the laughing, too. Well, I didn't laugh when DS went after me at that age--cause he also bites and try to bang your head with his--those 2 things (and hair pulling), can add a lot of damage potential for a 40 lb attacker. Fortunately, at 7, it is much, much better.

It might be helpful if you can talk about what happened the next day. This is a situation where my DS, at least, does not get upset talking about it the next day and can often offer some insight.

Sherri
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#18 of 21 Old 12-01-2007, 03:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Sherri! We talked about it today but he brought it up - we get home from school and he says to me "Let's play Trouble! I won't freak out, I promise." When I giggled and told him I wasn't sure I was ready for it he said "I can play it by myself then, I know how!" So tonight was a solo-Trouble night for him hehe.
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#19 of 21 Old 12-01-2007, 09:46 AM
 
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What an interesting thread!! My 6 year old is my NT child, and he's really unpleasant at games of chance. He pouts, sulks, whines...he LOVES games in general, but unless we've already determined to play several games in a row, chance games are hard for him. He's so much better, like so many posters have mentioned, at games where he has some control over the outcome. Othello, checkers, chess, Uno, even Go Fish. Anything were he's not waiting for a roll of the dice or a card to determine his direction. Mousetrap, I might add, is a surefire way to ruin a really good evening!

It's all about control!
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#20 of 21 Old 12-01-2007, 10:08 AM
 
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Smart guy! Playing it by himself is a really great way to enjoy the mechanics of the game (you know, popping the popping thing, counting and moving) without the frustration.

Sherri
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#21 of 21 Old 12-01-2007, 10:19 AM
 
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I agree! And again, my NT 6 yo LOVES to play chance games by himself!!
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