DS is 4 1/2. He may or may not be on the spectrum (you can decide which doctor to believe, I'm temporarily focusing on issues rather than dx). At this point he is sensory seeking, is a bit delayed in social skills/conversation and has anxiety.
When he was little his therapy was at home through EI. Then he went to school and he's had his therapy there. Last year we did yoga with an OT who started doing yoga for SNs kids. Those were one-on-one sessions and he did NOT want to go in without me. This was completely predictable as he never wants to do a class or anything without me. She just let me come in and do the yoga with him. It was not how she usually did it, but she respected that I did not want to push the issue at that point. We tried several times over the 6 months that we worked with her and he only did yoga without me there once. He really liked her and enjoyed yoga so that wasn't the issue.
So I'm in the process of trying to find a music therapist for DS. And I dread facing this issue. On one hand, I hate to force him to go without me. On the other hand, he is more cooperative at school than at home so I think he would ultimately be more cooperative in therapy and benefit more if I was not there. Additionally, I suspect that eventually he would benefit from group more than individual sessions and my presence would probably not be possible.
My daughter who is 23 months old, goes to PT without me. We just started her going by herself about 4 months ago. In fact her going on her own, is a part of her therapy (she has really bad seperation anxiety and we had to work with the OT for help). She does great! I say "Are you ready to go play with Claire?" She says "Yep!" and takes Claires hand and goes into the therapy room.
No. I drive him to OT (at the OT's sensory playground) and she asks that I participate, so I am physically even in the room, and participating in the hour itself. Everything else through EI comes to us at our home, so I'm here as well. I'm not always directly participating, but we have a very small house and I'm usually in the room or at least in the vicinity.
I would like OT to be without me, I think he might ultimately get more out of it.
I don't plan one way or another. I just do what dd seems to want and does best with her. Every therapist outside of school that has worked with dd leaves it up to me whether I want to be there or participate.
What I usually do is start out going with her, get an idea of what she's doing, then ask her if she's okay going alone. At 5, I feel she is less distracted by being by herself with the therapist, and I feel it encourages her independence. If she's wasn't okay with it, then I wouldn't push at all. She knows that she can ask me to come at any point. I do try to listen in a little when feasible and always get enough information that I can talk to her about what she did in therapy and duplicate bits of it at home.
With Andrew we had a similar issue but with OT. What we did was I went with him as usual and then after the therapist got him really involved I would tell him I was going to the waiting room for a little bit and ease my way out. Then I'd come back after a very short while so the time he was with her he had no chance to get upset and we stretched that time. Toward the end I was going in with him and he had no issues with me leaving almost immediately. If ever he did resist I would stay of course and I do think that happened occasionally. (We stopped for the winter so it's been a while).
Oh, for a while before I left I was also sort of distancing myself from involvement in the session to sort of prepare for my absence. So I would sit an increasing distance behind them...there if he looked back.
My point is what worked for Andrew was gradual. But if at any point he had just refused I would have stayed.
DS did therapy with me there until he was 3 (then he was moved to a SN preschool where he got his therapy). Now he's not in preschool and I take him to therapy. He goes to ST alone but I go with him to OT (see my recent thread about being singled out among SN parents). With his ST I have to walk him to the room (he has to go down an elevator then down a hallway) then I say goodbye and tell him I'll be waiting when he gets done. When he's done the ST takes him back to the waiting room. I'm not sure why but he refuses to go to the room with just the ST, I have to go with him. But after he's in the room he's fine.
Thanks everyone. I am positive that if I leave it up to DS, he will want me to stay. I guess I'll talk to the music therapist and see what she thinks as well.
My youngest has been in ST and OT for 2 years. Since we're homeschoolers I bring his siblings too. We all go in the therapy room every time. Sometimes we help!
Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 11, 10, 8, and 4 1/2
We have in home MT. If my other ds is in school I usually sit in and watch unless it looks like he is getting distracted, then I go in another room. When he first started ST and OT when he was about 2, I would go in with him. But then both of the therapist thought it would be best if I wasn't there. He wasn't so sure about it at the time but once he got back there he was ok. Now he doesn't even look back when he goes, he actually gets upset when it is time to leave!
I did have a friend who is a ST tell me that if the therapist is not coming out and talking to you in detail fir 15 min about what they did and what you should do at home, then I should be in there with him. At least that was her perspective.
DS is 5 and goes in by himself with the therapist now. For the first session, she had me be in the room just so he could get comfortable with her. Then, we had the door open, but me just outside the door so he could still see me and know I was right there. Now he just goes right in with her and does great. Maybe they would be willing work with you to slowly transition to going in alone like our therapist did? My DS is probably PDD-NOS (not a confirmed diagnosis, but that is what the psychologist he saw thinks), and is both a sensory seeker (crashes, throws things, head butts, etc.) and avoider (leaves room, zones out if too much going on). Good luck!
Originally Posted by crl
Thanks all! We set up an initial session for next week and the MT says she prefers parents to stay for therapy. So that settles that for now.
Catherine
I just meant we go with my youngest because we did in the beginning and we haven't changed that. I wouldn't mind sometimes waiting for him in the waiting room and reading a book or something!
I started taking my son when he was 2 1/2. He used to sit in my lap until he got used to going to ST.
My dd2 has been going to feeding therapy/speech therapy without me since she was 18mos. With her OT and PT sometimes I'm there if I don't have other kids with me but other times she's alone or just has her nurse with her. I find she does much better without me there as she's less distracted but I'm selfish and always want to know what's going on.
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