Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
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My biggest concern is the issue of his two selves: the home DS and away DS, and the fact that the away DS really does seem to be a wonderful, happy child. Why can't we have that child? Why does everyone else get him all the time and I only see glimpses of it from afar?! I know, I know--we're the safe place. But I'm starting to question that. It's hard not to feel like it somehow means that I am the problem.
I think this is actually very common. My challenging dd is the same way. Home is where we are loved unconditionally. We can freak out and be at our worst, and not be rejected. At school or friend's homes, if we act out we run the risk of being embarrassed and the risk of being rejected. I don't think it's necessarily more complicated than that.
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