when do kids stop playing with dolls? How do I know whats age appropriate? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know this will sound a big jumbled, I apologize ahead of time.

How do I know what is age appropriate for my daughter? Should I even care if its something she enjoys?

I wanted to buy her a new waldorf doll and then I got to wondering if 8 yr olds still play with dolls? If they dont, should i not get her the doll?

She loves polar bears too, and recently got a polar bear stuffed animal from build a bear. I saw tons of kids her age in the store.

My dd doesnt have friends. Ok, she has one. With all her limitations most kids dont want to play with her because she cant really do anything. She will listen intently to other kids, answer questions (with eye blinks) and laugh at their stories and jokes, but she cant do much more. Most kids are very active and want to go go go, not sit and talk to dd Oddly enough its the babies and toddlers that usually love to hang out with her.

Still, its very important to me that she 'fit in' or at very least look like other kids her age. I make sure she is dressed fashionably and has cute hair and glasses. I dont want people to notice her (negatively) for what she looks like. The question becomes, how do I know what other kids her age like? Should it even matter? Even Though she is non verbal I know that she is very cognitively aware. She is very responsive and sometimes I am amazed at the things she gets. I just honestly dont know at what level she is functioning. I tend to assume its age appropriate most of the time, but I could be wrong.

How do some of you tackle this? Any thoughts? Am I just wierd to even care?

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#2 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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I played with dolls until I was 12.

I still love dolls and I am 28 years old.

Let her enjoy what she likes.

I would not force her to be like the other kids. Let her be herself and enjoy what she likes.
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#3 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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My friend's daughter is about to turn eleven and she loves the American Girl dolls. When I took my dd to the American Girl Place there were tons of ten-year-olds. Also, another eleven-year-old just got a Waldorf doll for her birthday.
Your dds are both gorgeous, btw.

:Mama to 2 :
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#4 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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it seems totally age appropriate to me too!
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#5 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 10:16 AM
 
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At therapy my older children love to play with the baby and toddler toys and they are 8, 10, and 11! (We take my youngest who is 4 1/2 to ST.) It doesn't bother me or the therapists'.

You'll know if she has outgrown something by the interest and amount of attention she shows to it.

My children don't have many friends either because there are only infants and teenagers on our street. My children play with the toddlers at the park when we go during the daytime because they play with whoever is there. On the weekends they play with children their age since that's when the schoolchildren can be there (we're homeschoolers and tend to go to the park when children are in school.) They are in a Saturday art class at our local art school until the end of Feb and they have made friends there. Don't confuse friends with acquaintances who happen to be at the same place you child is at the same time!

We moms worry about everything!

Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 4 1/2, 8, 10, and 11
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#6 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:04 AM
 
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My 7 yr old dd is still in love with every other doll she sees. I was ten when the first Cabbage Patch Kids came out - I got two (boy and girl - my little brother and sister were twins, so they sort of represented them). Pictures from that birthday party show a bunch of girls and in every one, either a doll or a baby was being held.

Honestly, I've never outgrown my love of dolls. I still have my three favorites from childhood. I love being able to buy my girls dolls. In college, I had the Pookie Bear, that my friends would borrow in times of crisis to hug and pet Pookie still exists, he now belongs to my friend, who got into a car accident and had to leave school...so I sent Pookie to her and she cried when she got him.

Anyway, as long as she wants dolls, let her have them. Some of us girls never lose our love of them

But I do understand where you're coming from. My 11 yr old still takes his Pikachu doll around with him and I worry he'll be made fun of. But he does it more subtly now - he'll have a younger sib carry it, lol!
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#7 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:09 AM
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my son is 9 and he loves stuffed animals and even has a life sized doll. i think its completely normal.
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#8 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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I still sleep with a teddy bear. In fact, I can't sleep without it. He even went on my honeymoon. Tee. Hee. I think I played with dolls until around 10 and only stopped because my friends were a few years older and stopped.

I do understand your fear. We all want our kids to fit in and be liked. My son is the opposite in that he has zero interest in superheros or other things boys his age seem to like. I am ashamed to admit but I sometimes try to steer him towards those things because I want him to have some common denominator with his peers. He gets interested for about 5 seconds max.

Jen, Mom to DS (8) , DD (5) & Alli
(1-04) (8-09)
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#9 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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I played with dolls regularly till I was 12 and sporadically until I was 14 (not that I'd admit it...). FWIW, I was homeschooled so I did what I wanted at my own pace and though I had friends in public and private school, I didn't have a ton of peer pressure to "grow up" too soon. To a PP: I slept with a teddy bear till I was married, and now I sleep with my hubby and two little kids, they are so squeezy!
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#10 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2mygirl View Post
My friend's daughter is about to turn eleven and she loves the American Girl dolls. When I took my dd to the American Girl Place there were tons of ten-year-olds. Also, another eleven-year-old just got a Waldorf doll for her birthday.
Your dds are both gorgeous, btw.
I was just going to say, I think the age guidelines for AG dolls are 8+, so I'm sure they still do play at that age. I think she has several more years before anyone will think she's "too old."
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#11 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone for making me feel better

I think I need to get over this fitting in thing. Celeste is different. Its obvious when you look at her, I need to stop pretending otherwise. I should just relax and just let her enjoy what she enjoys. A small part of me still worries that other kids her age will make fun of her though

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#12 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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#13 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 12:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sesa70 View Post
Thank you everyone for making me feel better

I think I need to get over this fitting in thing. Celeste is different. Its obvious when you look at her, I need to stop pretending otherwise. I should just relax and just let her enjoy what she enjoys. A small part of me still worries that other kids her age will make fun of her though

Keep in mind, even if she was the most normal of normal kids - other kids her age would still make fun of her over one thing or another. Make sure she's happy with who she is, and it won't matter what others think - that self-confidence will shine through.
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#14 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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My oldest is 11 and still plays with dolls. I was 11 or 12 when I stopped.
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#15 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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I myself never played with dolls, except to run them over with my toy dumptruck. Not making this up. BUT, my sister had them until she was oh, ten or eleven years I think. Totally ok, I'd think, for an eight year old. What does your dd think about it??
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#16 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I played with dolls regularly until at least 12-13 and off and on until 16!

Nicole, mom of 3. Mitochondrial Disease.: Epilepsy
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#17 of 25 Old 01-25-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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Reading your/Celest's story made me so deeply sad for her. I truly hope that changes for her as she gets older.

As for your question; I think "age appropriate" should be thrown out the window. If you were trying to buy for someone ELSES child and you didn't know them well, age appropriate would be a helpful guideline. In this case, ask her if she still likes to play with dolls; and if she confirms that she does; then go ahead and buy her dolls. If she played with dolls until she was 50, it wouldn't phase me at all....whatever makes her happy!

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#18 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 01:10 AM
 
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Both Waldorf dolls and Build-a-Bear animals, usually anything that can have a nice wardrobe are popular with 8 y.o. girls that I know.

I agree with other posters who say it's more important for kids to have the things they love than it is to seem as much as possible like their peers. I wouldn't have wanted to be denied toys because they weren't appropriate to my age or gender.

While I was not a child with special needs, I was sort of a weird kid and got teased quite a bit. Sometimes kids were very mean, even the ones I hung out with and considered friends. There are things I still get sad about if I play it back in my head, but I don't think, "Oh, I wish I hadn't been so weird and had been one of the popular kids that everyone liked." I just wish that people weren't so cruel to one another sometimes.

Sherri
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#19 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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I just read the link for Celeste in your sig. I'm not familiar with Make a Child Smile and was intrigued by the part about her liking reading her smile mail. How does this work.

Oh, and after reading that--no doubt you have the right gifts in mind for her. Amira will love bringing them to her. And maybe if someone she likes from American Idol lives near you they would pay her a visit.

Sherri
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#20 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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I played with dolls until about 13 I think, I still have most all of my dolls from when I was younger.

Busy Mom raising 5 kiddos, 7, 6, 5, 2  and a brand new bundle!! (5/15/11)  cd.gifribbonpb.gifnovaxnoIRC.gif

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#21 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 01:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodama View Post
I played with dolls until I was 12.

I still love dolls and I am 28 years old.

Let her enjoy what she likes.

I would not force her to be like the other kids. Let her be herself and enjoy what she likes.
, im 24 and still like dolls

who cares whats "normal", let her have her own likes and dislikes........ marie osmond still loves dolls
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#22 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 09:26 AM
 
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Most of the girls in my 4th grade class got some kind of doll as one of their holiday gifts this year. They are 9 and 10 years old.
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#23 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 12:23 PM
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girls don't seem to play with dolls as long as they used to but honestly, i think that's kind of sad. i never liked dolls but i was a very strange kid. honestly, a child who never did "mommy" pretend play at all is way more abnormal than a kid who likes playing with dolls longer than average. my mother had them until she was 13. my cousins used them until they were 12 or so.

really, if the other kids have made it clear they're not interested, forget them! get her what she likes! i think that's true for any kid.

someone made a post a while back about alternatives to barbie. there are these wonderful dolls they sell at target that are barbie sized but look like regular 12 or 10 yo girls. their bodies are soft and completely possible. they come with clothes that look like what little girls ware today. also, i think you can find a wheel chair for them to fit into which she might really enjoy.
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#24 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 12:26 PM
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#25 of 25 Old 01-26-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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I was still playing with Barbies at 16. (although I started hiding that fact when I was about 11 or 12) I wasn't playing with them the way I did when I was a little kid, but I still pulled them out and played with them. I probably played with them in more of a "Play therapy" kind of way come to think of it. I was also more into making clothes at that age. (and my dolls usually acted out books. theatre dolls. )

I honestly don't think there is an age where doll playing is inappropriate. There wouldn't be so many doll collectors out there if it was. It might morph into more "socially acceptable" things, like collecting, but I would bet money that a lot of the "collectors" will pull out the dolls and play with them at times. (this goes for boy's dolls too...how many star wars/star trek collectors are out there...same thing)

I also struggle with "age appropriate" labels too, and I suspect it is only going to get worse. While I know that I will get him things that he likes, regardless of whether or not he is "too old" for them, it is just another reminder of the difference and it is harder on days when I am feeling more vunerable.

Mom to 10yo Autistic Wonder Boy and 6yo Inquisitive Fireball Girl . December birthdays.

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