Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: with the wildlife
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Have you ruled out sleep apnea?
Dairy causes aggression in many children. How is his diet related to artificial colors?
Rachelle, mommy to 8 year old boys!
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oh mama, you're doing your best but it sound slike your own tank is running so low. go do more for yourself. Get out while he's asleep. walk or read or shower or call firends, whatever you like to do, it doesn't have to cost money. Breathe deep and count blessings and whatever you know will recharge you. I know how tough it is, though I'm not to year 9 yet. things are rough, but you always endure.
I thought he sounded bipolar-y but you said something about the spectrum... not knowing his story I don't know... if you think he needs more assesment or more therapies, then I'd say focus on finding it. That's an investment in a happier future for both of you.
Mama, we are all on classical homeopathy and it does help our coping with all of it. It addresses all behavioral, physical, emotional and mental characteristics by strengthening the immune system/vital force. Also, have you tried Bach flower remedies?
Check the remedy finders (first 3 links) for selecting a Bach Flower for your particular situation:
Try some Elm or White Chestnut Bach Flower remedy. The first is for 'when you temporarily feel overwhelmed by responsibilities' and the second 'for when thoughts go round and round in your head'.
Could you creates some mantras for yourself? Mantras are mental shields. They help to protect your thoughts from going into those black holes of despair. Something like 'There is plenty of time. We can work it out.' I know I have a lot of self-imposed pressure to "fix it", and giving myself permission to be in a space to THINK and BE can amp down the emotional charge of a situation.
Mine is "All is well. Everything is working toward my highest self. Out of this situation only Joy and Awareness will unfold. We are safe." I have it written down and carry it in my purse, in the car, on the refrigerator. I recite it to myself and it soothes the urgency to solve. It brings me peace in the moments of conflict and distress.
I go through this cycle as well. Last week I felt just as you described. It always takes me a few days before I can get back to hopeful thinking.
I think the worst part is after we've had a long stretch of feeling "normal" then things turn. It is always unexpected and shocking to me. I always look for what I've done wrong and blame myself.
Hang in there.
The way that I'd approach it next time it happens is to direct him to take some cool off time by himself, then when he's ready to be nice again he can come back. When he's cooled off, try asking what caused him to angry and frustrated to see if you can narrow down what the underlying trigger is.
Often times with kids who've been diagnosed with ADHD, the common outburst inducing issue is they were focused on doing something and making progress, then something happened like a parent interrupted to ask the child to do a chore or a sibling wanted to ask their brother or sister a question, or a teacher wanted the child to be doing something different... or it could even be something really minuscule like someone walked into the same room to grab an item and once that interrupting event occurs the child is flooded with a really overwhelming feeling of frustration and an outburst of yelling and/or tantruming can ensue.
The best thing you can do is to teach the child how to react constructively when they're feeling frustrated. Teaching them that if someone interrupts you and you feel frustrated, it's okay to to say to stop and say, "I'm sorry, I feel frustrated right now. Can I take five minutes to calm down and collect my thoughts?" because it's a better way to handle something than to throw a tantrum or to yell at someone.
That said, you're not a bad mom. : It's really hard not to get frustrated when your son is constantly throwing fits.