Typical two year old behavior, or not? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-03-2008, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
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My nearly two-year old son has been testing us, big time. The day seems like an enormous struggle. He throws food and toys, pulls the heater control off the wall, throws objects into the heating grate, pulls up my plants, and bites me and others.

He will sometimes say "don't touch" or "don't hurt mama", but then continues with the activity.

I am so frustrated. It is especially maddening when he sees a child he has bitten and says, "I bit Roxie, " seems sad, and then goes to bite her again! He doesn't seem to be listening to us at all, and it seems to be worsening.

I know that two year olds are trying to achieve autonomy, and that it is normal and healthy for them to challenge us, but at what point does it stop being normal and start to indicate that he might not be processing our requests in a neuro-typical way?
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#2 of 5 Old 04-03-2008, 02:30 PM
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I saw your lone posting all the way at the bottom of the page, with no responses, and wanted to answer with something so you wouldn't feel ignored or alone...

I don't have a terribly useful answer, but I wonder if there's some sensory processing issues going on here? That's my first thought. Also, though, he's still very young, and indeed this could be normal behavior. Difficult, but normal.
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#3 of 5 Old 04-03-2008, 04:08 PM
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Sounds normal for 2. (If my 2 are NT - haha!) DS1 often repeats "get down" when he's climbing on something he knows he's not supposed to climb on! It's like the message is in their brains, but they can't yet control the impulse. That said I don't think it can hurt to channel their sensory seeking into activities that are more acceptable to you. 2 with dd was hard - there were about 6 months of really trying testing - we had the "yogurt wars" - she kept sneaking packs of yogurt out of the fridge when I'd leave the room, opening all of them, feeding them to her baby brother - I could not get her to stop and she could get past locks - finally I gated the entire kitchen and that was the end of it. Good luck to you!
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#4 of 5 Old 04-03-2008, 04:21 PM
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If this is all you see it sounds very possibly typical. There's a stage when kids sort of tell themselves the limits before they internalize them. There's also a point where they know the limits but the self control to stay in them just isn't yet there. He may be playing around with cause and effect and how others react to what he does. Lots of kids bite when mad (though I'm not sure you're describing that). That said, my spectrum kiddo still does stuff like that at 4. He's also sensory seeking and biting is part of that for him..it gives him input rather than being something he does when he's mad.

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#5 of 5 Old 04-03-2008, 04:47 PM
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Hi there! I'm not sure. It could be typical, but I do remember Collin doing that "Get down." thing while climbing or doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. It was like even though he knew he wasn't supposed to do it, he didn't know how to stop himself from doing it. But then again, I think impulse control for a 2 year old is really difficult in general.

It may be too early to get a diagnoses at this point due to the similarities with normal behavior. Maybe you could try to give him alternatives to some of the things you mentioned. Like giving him a sand table and some fake or real plants he could plant and dig up (or maybe you could even plant a little garden with him to show him how fun it is to see flowers or veggies actually grow). Something that he can climb up on to redirect him to when he's climbing. Some little box, even a cardboard box, with little slits in it that he can stuff things into.

A pet to bite instead of other people. J/K on the last. But I hope it gave you a laugh. Sometimes you really need a laugh when dealing with a 2 year old.

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