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#121 of 140 Old 08-10-2008, 11:12 PM
 
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Edited to add this to my previous post.

My kiddo fluctuates a lot too. In his case turns out he has a metabolic condition and I think that's a lot of it for him. If a child fluctuates widely I think you have to look into health issues that might be responsible.

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#122 of 140 Old 08-10-2008, 11:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't speak for other parents, just myself. DS has always been the way he is. We wasn't this babbling verbal toddler and then all the sudden was a different kid. He didn't have a bunch of skills and then mysteriously they vanished. He has always been the. I d way he is. We tried the GF/CF diet full force. I mean if it works for so many kids why the heck not? Well it made him aggressive and he regressed at 4yo. We went off the diet and he slowly gained his skills back. Weird, I know. The thing is it's not horrible to try things. You just have to try things that aren't going to hurt them. I still want to try crainiosacral therapy. I don't think it will 'cure' him but it might help with focus. We do omega 3's and we do lots of OT and ST. IMO Vax damaged kids have a dramatic change. Genetic kids don't. Then again this is only my experience. All autistic kids are different.
I am currenty taking my son to Cranio Sacral Therapy at a saltwater pool and it has been SOOOOO good for him. He sleeps better, eats more, he's clamer and more social, he has even begun singing for us! I highly reccommend Cranio Sacral for all people, but I was amazed at what the therapy has done for my son. You can PM me for more information if you want....
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#123 of 140 Old 08-10-2008, 11:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder when I hear the other parents at my son's school talking about curing thier children, if we are telling those kids that because thier personalities happen to be differant and some of those differances are characterized as traits of autism, that those traits are bad. I don't want my son for a second to think that I don't want a world with people like him in it! I know his way of thinking is not only beautiful and precious, but important to our world. What would have happened to all the great inventors and composers throughout history if someone had come along and corrected thier wierdness or forced them to speak? What would have happened if someone had cured Bethovens deafness? Or if some of the other brilliant minds throughout history had been forced to do 40 hours of ABA a week so they could be "typical?" I think Autism should be honored as a very positive way of thinking, and I pray for the day when the rest of the world see's it that way. I have learned alot since I posted my origional question here, and after lots of research and talking to other parents, I think my son's hightened sence of sigular focus is a blessing that should be nurtured! Yes I have him on the BED diet, and yes he goes to Cranio Sacral therapy every week, but I am not trying to cure him. Just to help him be the best he can be! I have really thought long and hard about what he needs, and it's very differant for each child. My son was bashing his head on the floor and hitting himself in the face all the time before we started Cranio Sacral Therapy, that problem was unique to him and the treatment was too. Now I understand that each of his issues need to be addressed one at a time, and that even though we might resolve those particular issues, he's always going to be quirky! I have grown so fond of my son's personality now that he's not in pain anymore that I'm afraid to let him go to school in September because I don't want the ABA they do there to disrupt his unique way of thinking, nothing about him needs correcting!
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#124 of 140 Old 08-10-2008, 11:51 PM
 
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Mama, our son could certainly be placed on the spectrum. However, we are outside the system. We radically unschool.

I love this essay by Anne Ohman about her son, "I AM WHAT I AM" http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/anneo/I_Am_What_I_Am.htm


And this video is poignant and insightful.
http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/
(It is free.)

Click on the purple link and the purple rectangle.


Best wishes. I hope you find the path to peace about this.


Pat

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#125 of 140 Old 08-10-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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Are there any parents of unvaccinated autistic children out there. As in a child who has never had a single vaccine, even the hepB shot they give in the hospital? i have yet to meet a child wth autism who hasn't had at least one shot. I've asked around alot and have come up empty, so now I'm asking all of you......please respond....
my cousin has aspergers and never received a single vaccination.
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#126 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 12:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my cousin has aspergers and never received a single vaccination.
I have learned that the answer to my question is "yes"!!! Autism happens without vaccination or birth trama. I am moving away from the why, and moving on with the now. In the now I see my son's Autism as just another way of thinking. Some things he clearly needs help with (I'm not going to sit by and let him harm himself) and somethings I have decided to let be. I have realized that many of the parents I have met who also have young Autistic children are just desperate to have a typical child. I have never felt that way, I'm wierd and I always expected my kids to be too! I asked this question because at the time I had just had my baby at a birth center were none of the midwives had herd of an unvaccinated homeborn/birth center born baby who had Autism. Now I know that there certainly are! Again I apologise if this question upset anyone, but this discussion is important and I'm glad we're having it. I have learned alot from all of you!
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#127 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 12:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Mama, our son could certainly be placed on the spectrum. However, we are outside the system. We radically unschool.

I love this essay by Anne Ohman about her son, "I AM WHAT I AM" http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/anneo/I_Am_What_I_Am.htm


And this video is poignant and insightful.
http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/
(It is free.)

Click on the purple link and the purple rectangle.


Best wishes. I hope you find the path to peace about this.


Pat
I just watched the animal school video from ://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/ and it was so beautiful and exactly how I feel about my son. I would like to learn more about this "unschooling" you speak of. We have been considering homeschooling our son because we don't like the ABA they are doing with him at his school and we want to nurture his unique personality. I was told by his doctor that school is a mediacl neccisity for him and that it would be neglagent for us to keep him out because he needs the social interaction...but I worry about him coming away from the ABA with the idea that we don't want him to be who he is or that we don't want a world with people like him in it......please tell me what you think about ABA and homeschooling for kids with Autism...
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#128 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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There is a whole forum about "unschooling" on MDC. And if you search in that forum, there are families who are unschooling children who have been diagnosed autistic, or on the spectrum. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=439

We do not practice behavior modification, nor ABA. Some here do. You will find a spectrum of opinions, no pun intended, about behaviorism. I prefer Stanley Greenspan's "Floortime" approach, which is more partnered than directive. http://www.floortime.org/index.php You can also find a bunch of threads in this forum about "floortime".

There are many resources online about unschooling.


HTH,
Pat

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#129 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 10:59 AM
 
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I have learned alot since I posted my origional question here!
So have I. I have gained perspective that I would not have had otherwise. I'm thankful for everyone who posted because I was challenged in my beliefs.
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#130 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 11:13 AM
 
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A couple at my mom's church have 4 children- all autistic and three of them never had a single vaccination.

Blessed with two BEAUTIFUL little girls: Kylie (09/06) and Maggie (4/09) :
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#131 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by 7SacredMama View Post
I wonder when I hear the other parents at my son's school talking about curing thier children, if we are telling those kids that because thier personalities happen to be differant and some of those differances are characterized as traits of autism, that those traits are bad. I don't want my son for a second to think that I don't want a world with people like him in it! I know his way of thinking is not only beautiful and precious, but important to our world. What would have happened to all the great inventors and composers throughout history if someone had come along and corrected thier wierdness or forced them to speak? What would have happened if someone had cured Bethovens deafness? Or if some of the other brilliant minds throughout history had been forced to do 40 hours of ABA a week so they could be "typical?" I think Autism should be honored as a very positive way of thinking, and I pray for the day when the rest of the world see's it that way. I have learned alot since I posted my origional question here, and after lots of research and talking to other parents, I think my son's hightened sence of sigular focus is a blessing that should be nurtured! Yes I have him on the BED diet, and yes he goes to Cranio Sacral therapy every week, but I am not trying to cure him. Just to help him be the best he can be! I have really thought long and hard about what he needs, and it's very differant for each child. My son was bashing his head on the floor and hitting himself in the face all the time before we started Cranio Sacral Therapy, that problem was unique to him and the treatment was too. Now I understand that each of his issues need to be addressed one at a time, and that even though we might resolve those particular issues, he's always going to be quirky! I have grown so fond of my son's personality now that he's not in pain anymore that I'm afraid to let him go to school in September because I don't want the ABA they do there to disrupt his unique way of thinking, nothing about him needs correcting!
Wow! What an amazing update. You literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing part of your journey with your son with us. :

 
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#132 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 11:56 AM
 
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I can accept the "some kids are vaccine injured which causes autism like symptoms" argument. But to say that vaccines CAUSE autism is to say that it's cut and dried and black and white. There have been studies done that show NO LINK at all, and those are the studies I've always quoted and had faith in.
And then my son turned up with Global Delays, and all of a sudden it was "could I have been wrong? Did I do something to hurt my baby?".
I still don't even know that it's autism - he could have celiac disease or any number of things. But IF it's autism, I think it's genetic. Brendon, at nearly 2, STILL has never waved. My daughter is 9 1/2 months old - she claps all the time, she demands to be held (no complaints here!) she says mama and ba and a ton of other things, and she started waving spontaneously a few weeks ago! I'm not sure she has the concept of exactly what it means, but looking at both of them, I'm thinking "wow! I had NO idea!".
I guess my point is, if you (general) want to say that your kid was vaccine injured, I'm not going to argue. But if you say instead that vaccines cause autism, I'll argue day and night. My little social butterfly has had every vaccination her brother has except for the 1 year and 18 month shots (obviously). She's still a social butterfly, and he still never waved or babbled like she does.
And I think I'm somewhere on the spectrum, my dh is a bona fide geek (he even works in IT!) my mom has few social skills, her mom apparently pushed her away from hugs when she got past babyhood - too much interaction, perhaps? My Grandpa Joe had a brother who was "retarded". Now the guy died at 21 or so, it could easily have been something like Down's. But what if?
Oh, and Shaggy Daddy - you are my HERO!!!!!!!! I LOVE you, man - and you give me hope for my son and for all the other kids we (dh and I) want to have who might fall somewhere on the spectrum. And I am SO relieved, because I thought that seeking out a label meant I was trying to "fix" my boy. But I'm the type of person who NEEDS the label. I need to be able to say, "oh, Brendon has ____. Isn't that cool?" because otherwise, he could be hurting and I'm ignoring it. Or I might simply never know enough about who he is, because I'm constantly worrying over "but WHY does he x, y and z?" instead of just appreciating the beauty of it when he does.
Anyway, hope that made sense. I'm glad I found you guys, this journey is SCARY when you're just starting out.
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#133 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Wuwei, Thanks for posting the links. Before Sid was born, dh and I had already decided that we would homeschool our child. About a year ago, when it seemed that every day was a struggle and I did not understand what was going on with Sidney, I felt inadequate to homeschooling. When I began to suspect that Sid was autistic, I really felt inadequate! But as I have learned more about autism and as I have learned to understand Sidney, I began to believe again that I am the best person to help facilitate Sid's learning, special needs and all. The "animal school" video confirmed this.
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#134 of 140 Old 08-11-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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Wuwei, Thanks for posting the links. Before Sid was born, dh and I had already decided that we would homeschool our child. About a year ago, when it seemed that every day was a struggle and I did not understand what was going on with Sidney, I felt inadequate to homeschooling. When I began to suspect that Sid was autistic, I really felt inadequate! But as I have learned more about autism and as I have learned to understand Sidney, I began to believe again that I am the best person to help facilitate Sid's learning, special needs and all. The "animal school" video confirmed this.
I felt that same fear that I was inadequate, and sent my child to school. It was okay the first few years, in preschool. Unfortunately the school will reinforce the idea that there is no way you can teach your own child. After a horrible first grade, I pulled ALL of my children out of school and it has been amazing. We also unschool, and it has allowed my autistic children to heal so much, and make some great advances on their own.
Look at familyrun.ning.com. It's also an unschooling site, that has a lot of experienced people. Anne Ohman is amazing, she is so wonderful for the way she encourages every parent to accept their child as they are, and help them where they are.

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#135 of 140 Old 08-16-2008, 09:25 AM
 
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My youngest is completely unvaxed and is autistic. I wonder about the causes sometimes

I find a lot of her behaviors endearing, and others just exhaust and frustrate me.

I am in awe of those of you who celebrate autism, and who don't wonder about the causes
Wow, who is that person? LOL I have come a long way just since then, acceptance-wise and that gives me hope that others will too. When my dd's pediatrician said she was autistic (back in June) my reaction was "of course she is." The next logical step was to take her to a specialist to get it confirmed officially. (But in my mind it was official.)

When we were at the specialist and he was saying things like, "Well she doesn't seem retarded so that's good" and "does she feed herself?" I started asking myself what am I doing here? Does he see this child in front of him at all? Of course she can feed herself, her fine motor skills are as good as her 5 year old sister, her gross motor skills are better. She just chooses different activities from her sis. He wanted to do a blood draw and have me talk to a geneticist but I am confused by that. I mean if we already agree that it's genetic, then what is the point?

Yes she has trouble sleeping, but we've worked out a routine and things are better. Yes, she has limited food choices, but supplements put our minds at ease if she eats nothing but triscuits for an entire day. She talks a little, sort of, but I'm coming to realize that speech is just one form of communication. We are not dog (or even pet) people but we are even considering getting a dog because she has a special rapport with them.

She is healthy. She is intelligent. Yes, she has sensory issues, but guess what? We can work with her so she can be happy.

Finding an Aspie babysitter has been huge. It never occurred to me that my friend was on the spectrum. She is quirky, but hey, we're all quirky, aren't we? What is normal? I certainly have no idea and if it exists it's probably overrated.

But she gets my kids and she helps me see that acceptance is the way to go. Along with Shaggy Daddy (congrats on TWINS btw!!!) and Kristine, and all of the other calm intelligent voices in a sea of despair. I don't mean to make light of parents' who have stages of shock/grief to go through when they find out that their kid is autistic, my husband is certainly processing this differently than I am. But I am hoping that they will see what I have come to see.

I am not going to lie, it's not easy being a parent to a kid who has a tendency to run away, and who is a picky eater, and who is very stubborn and has her own opinions/agenda and her own style. At the end of each day I am exhausted and my house is a wreck. But man! If you all could just spend 5 minutes with this kid you would fall head over heels in love and start wondering just what the heck needs to be cured.

-Vijay
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#136 of 140 Old 08-16-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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He wanted to do a blood draw and have me talk to a geneticist but I am confused by that. I mean if we already agree that it's genetic, then what is the point?




-Vijay
Vijay,
Sounds like you've really come to peace about it all and have found great ways to work around the hard parts--all in a short time! Yay.

I wanted to say about this though that I'm impressed actually. There is no blood test for autism so it isn't confirmation of that at all. The doctor is probably looking to rule out underlying issues that might cause autism symptoms. That's a good thing in my opinion; I wish someone had done that for us and maybe we would have been able to treat my son's metabolic condition sooner.

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#137 of 140 Old 08-16-2008, 09:34 PM
 
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Vijay,
Sounds like you've really come to peace about it all and have found great ways to work around the hard parts--all in a short time! Yay.

I wanted to say about this though that I'm impressed actually. There is no blood test for autism so it isn't confirmation of that at all. The doctor is probably looking to rule out underlying issues that might cause autism symptoms. That's a good thing in my opinion; I wish someone had done that for us and maybe we would have been able to treat my son's metabolic condition sooner.
I agree. That's why I'm not complaining about all the testing we're going through with Brendon. I'm willing to bet he's on the spectrum and it's as simple as that, but if he's also partly deaf, or not getting proper nutrients or something else, I want to know that, too.
It's always best to rule out the medical stuff first, because that way nothing gets missed.
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#138 of 140 Old 08-17-2008, 01:44 AM
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I just wish we'd stop focusing so much on the reasons when it comes to autism, for all the implications lying behind that needing to know. It's one thing to pursue answers for one child - if your child is physically suffering in some way, if you suspect metabolic issues, etc etc. But this focus on the general Why with a capital 'W'... too many reasons to do so that are only disturbing to me.
If no one questions "Why?" then there would never be any cures, any prevention, any answers. Do we question "Why?" when it comes to why did my child get cancer? Yes, we do and therefore we can help to cure it.

Why not?
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#139 of 140 Old 08-17-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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If no one questions "Why?" then there would never be any cures, any prevention, any answers. Do we question "Why?" when it comes to why did my child get cancer? Yes, we do and therefore we can help to cure it.

Why not?

But the difference is that a lot of people here don't believe that Autism can or should be cured.

And cancer is a really poor comparison IMO because they are vastly different.

Nicole, mom of 3. Mitochondrial Disease.: Epilepsy
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#140 of 140 Old 08-17-2008, 01:54 AM
 
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If no one questions "Why?" then there would never be any cures, any prevention, any answers. Do we question "Why?" when it comes to why did my child get cancer? Yes, we do and therefore we can help to cure it.

Why not?
Because autism is not cancer. Autism is not a disease. Autism should not be cured nor prevented. It is an equally valid way of being, not something to be questioned and stopped.

If, as of tomorrow, no one else developed cancer, ever, this would be wonderful. People would be freed from a devastating disease that damages health and shortens lives.

If, as of tomorrow, there were no more autistics... this would be a horrible loss to society and the world. And I don't say this (only) because I am autistic, nor because I am the mother of autistic children. I say this also because I know that human diversity, in all its forms, is essential not only for human growth and progress, but for human survival.
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