terminating pregnancy because of family siutation. - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 75 Old 07-04-2008, 08:33 PM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 13,477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to add my support. I fully support your decision to have an abortion and I completely understand why adoption isn't an option for you. If you need to talk about it please feel free to PM or email me.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
#62 of 75 Old 07-04-2008, 08:54 PM
 
UptownZoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: In the monkey cage...
Posts: 2,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, mama, what a painful, difficult decision. I hope you find all the love and comfort you need to get through this hard time.

computergeek2.gif

UptownZoo is offline  
#63 of 75 Old 07-04-2008, 09:26 PM
 
2boyzmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dayton, Oh WPAFB
Posts: 5,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For your baby

For you and your family :

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
2boyzmama is offline  
#64 of 75 Old 07-04-2008, 10:38 PM
 
QueenOfThePride's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the frigid north
Posts: 4,716
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
May you find peace with your decision.

Tis the season, for hot apple cider!
QueenOfThePride is offline  
#65 of 75 Old 07-04-2008, 11:01 PM
 
mama41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi -- I'm so sorry to hear of the added complication -- this cannot be easy for you or your marriage.

My situation is less complex, but I wanted to let you know that I'd make the same decisions. We are not superhuman, and when we try to carry more than we can, our children feel it, too.

I would rephrase your header as "terminating pregnancy because I love my family and understand my limits."

Wishing you peace.
mama41 is offline  
#66 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 01:11 AM
 
lotusdebi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Facebook
Posts: 6,653
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thinking of you, and wishing you peace and strength.

You can find me on Facebook. PM for info.
lotusdebi is offline  
#67 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 01:43 AM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,349
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
For your baby

For you and your family :
I'm so sorry : I can't stop crying after reading this thread. Thinking of you and the baby.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#68 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 04:43 AM
 
lil_miss_understood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm praying for you and your family to have the strength and gentleness you all need during this difficult time.
Praying too that your mind and heart are at peace with your decision.
:

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
lil_miss_understood is offline  
#69 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 05:41 PM
 
GoBecGo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Thinking of you.
GoBecGo is offline  
#70 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 11:38 PM
 
uptowngirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Urban SE, USA
Posts: 240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hugs! You will be ok from this! I wish you peace!
uptowngirl is offline  
#71 of 75 Old 07-05-2008, 11:59 PM
 
Devaskyla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in my great new home
Posts: 4,693
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

Devaskyla is offline  
#72 of 75 Old 07-06-2008, 08:06 PM
 
KBecks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,002
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that you do not feel pressured into any path. I wish you strength and peace, and prayers for your family.
KBecks is offline  
#73 of 75 Old 07-06-2008, 09:35 PM
 
KarenEMT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,456
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You are in my prayers as you make this incredibly tough decision
KarenEMT is offline  
#74 of 75 Old 07-06-2008, 09:59 PM
 
Kitsune6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,828
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


I can't imagine being in your shoes. You are such a strong mama to be able to open up and talk about this. You are doing what's best for yourself and for your family. Whether you go through with it or back out so be it.
Kitsune6 is offline  
#75 of 75 Old 07-07-2008, 11:00 AM
 
QueenOfTheMeadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: with the wildlife
Posts: 22,530
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebarkingbird View Post
thank you again all so much. i will not be considering adoption. i cannot handle all of the emotional and physical stress of carrying a pregnancy to term and not coming home with a baby. my husband is not and likely will not ever find open adoption a viable option. closed adoption was good enough for his parents and he says it's good enough for him. beyond that my oldest son has gotten a new brother and a new dad all in the last year and 1/2. i do not think he could understand or handle knowing that a baby i made left and was not going to come home with us. yesterday we kind of hypothetically asked if he might want a new baby. he said no new baby! want brother! he thought that if we got a new baby we'd get rid of his brother. i feel like an ass because brother went to grandma's today and ds was totally freaked out.

i think adoption is a wonderful thing for many people but it really isn't for me or my family at this point in time. it is not an alternative to abortion. it is so so different.

i know i made an open call for advice and that everyone has been very respectful but i am saying now that i will not be considering adoption anymore. i gave it some thought and discussed it with my husband.

i have made up my mind and am trying to heal from this loss. if i make it to the clinic and just can't do it then i won't but as of now termination is the plan. i could not have done quite as well making this decision peacefully and without shame had i not had access to a full spectrum of experiences from generous women who shared here.

i am not a christian but i do believe that your prayers work. i have religious beliefs that may sound strange or even offensive to some but i know that any prayer said to a god who is believed in has real effects. if you are a religious person or one with a very strong opinion please consider just praying for me and my family rather than pressing me to change my mind. all of your suggestions were very much welcomed and appreciated. i think i got as much out of them as i can. for the record, i didn't feel pressed by anyone before because i had not said outright that my decision was made. i asked and you spoke. i thought and decided.

if you want to PM me that's cool or if you've already done so about this then i will continue the discussion via PM. you have all been a great help. i understand that this is a terribly charged topic and i don't mind people starting their own debate/discussion thread. if it's labeled as such i can choose to read or stay away and i accept the rights of others to speak their minds. thank you for respecting my safe space here.
I am going to close this thread, since it has run its' course. Peace to you.

 
QueenOfTheMeadow is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off