terminating pregnancy because of family siutation. - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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Special Needs Parenting > terminating pregnancy because of family siutation.
LavenderMae's Avatar LavenderMae 09:33 PM 07-04-2008
I just wanted to add my support. I fully support your decision to have an abortion and I completely understand why adoption isn't an option for you. If you need to talk about it please feel free to PM or email me.

UptownZoo's Avatar UptownZoo 09:54 PM 07-04-2008
Oh, mama, what a painful, difficult decision. I hope you find all the love and comfort you need to get through this hard time.
2boyzmama's Avatar 2boyzmama 10:26 PM 07-04-2008
For your baby

For you and your family :
QueenOfThePride's Avatar QueenOfThePride 11:38 PM 07-04-2008
May you find peace with your decision.
mama41's Avatar mama41 12:01 AM 07-05-2008
Hi -- I'm so sorry to hear of the added complication -- this cannot be easy for you or your marriage.

My situation is less complex, but I wanted to let you know that I'd make the same decisions. We are not superhuman, and when we try to carry more than we can, our children feel it, too.

I would rephrase your header as "terminating pregnancy because I love my family and understand my limits."

Wishing you peace.
lotusdebi's Avatar lotusdebi 02:11 AM 07-05-2008

Thinking of you, and wishing you peace and strength.
Jilian's Avatar Jilian 02:43 AM 07-05-2008
Originally Posted by 2boyzmama View Post
For your baby

For you and your family :
I'm so sorry : I can't stop crying after reading this thread. Thinking of you and the baby.
lil_miss_understood's Avatar lil_miss_understood 05:43 AM 07-05-2008
I'm praying for you and your family to have the strength and gentleness you all need during this difficult time.
Praying too that your mind and heart are at peace with your decision.
GoBecGo's Avatar GoBecGo 06:41 PM 07-05-2008

Thinking of you.
uptowngirl's Avatar uptowngirl 12:38 AM 07-06-2008
Hugs! You will be ok from this! I wish you peace!
Devaskyla's Avatar Devaskyla 12:59 AM 07-06-2008

KBecks's Avatar KBecks 09:06 PM 07-06-2008
I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope that you do not feel pressured into any path. I wish you strength and peace, and prayers for your family.
KarenEMT's Avatar KarenEMT 10:35 PM 07-06-2008
You are in my prayers as you make this incredibly tough decision
Kitsune6's Avatar Kitsune6 10:59 PM 07-06-2008

I can't imagine being in your shoes. You are such a strong mama to be able to open up and talk about this. You are doing what's best for yourself and for your family. Whether you go through with it or back out so be it.

QueenOfTheMeadow's Avatar QueenOfTheMeadow 12:00 PM 07-07-2008
Originally Posted by thebarkingbird View Post
thank you again all so much. i will not be considering adoption. i cannot handle all of the emotional and physical stress of carrying a pregnancy to term and not coming home with a baby. my husband is not and likely will not ever find open adoption a viable option. closed adoption was good enough for his parents and he says it's good enough for him. beyond that my oldest son has gotten a new brother and a new dad all in the last year and 1/2. i do not think he could understand or handle knowing that a baby i made left and was not going to come home with us. yesterday we kind of hypothetically asked if he might want a new baby. he said no new baby! want brother! he thought that if we got a new baby we'd get rid of his brother. i feel like an ass because brother went to grandma's today and ds was totally freaked out.

i think adoption is a wonderful thing for many people but it really isn't for me or my family at this point in time. it is not an alternative to abortion. it is so so different.

i know i made an open call for advice and that everyone has been very respectful but i am saying now that i will not be considering adoption anymore. i gave it some thought and discussed it with my husband.

i have made up my mind and am trying to heal from this loss. if i make it to the clinic and just can't do it then i won't but as of now termination is the plan. i could not have done quite as well making this decision peacefully and without shame had i not had access to a full spectrum of experiences from generous women who shared here.

i am not a christian but i do believe that your prayers work. i have religious beliefs that may sound strange or even offensive to some but i know that any prayer said to a god who is believed in has real effects. if you are a religious person or one with a very strong opinion please consider just praying for me and my family rather than pressing me to change my mind. all of your suggestions were very much welcomed and appreciated. i think i got as much out of them as i can. for the record, i didn't feel pressed by anyone before because i had not said outright that my decision was made. i asked and you spoke. i thought and decided.

if you want to PM me that's cool or if you've already done so about this then i will continue the discussion via PM. you have all been a great help. i understand that this is a terribly charged topic and i don't mind people starting their own debate/discussion thread. if it's labeled as such i can choose to read or stay away and i accept the rights of others to speak their minds. thank you for respecting my safe space here.
I am going to close this thread, since it has run its' course. Peace to you.
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