I have hesitated in responding for want of words.
My heart aches for you.
My first thought in reading your post was that it sounded like you already knew what you wanted to do. Just the way your wrote things it seemed like you felt the "reasonable" thing to do would be to terminate this pregnancy, but that this wasn't feeling right to you.
My second thought was worry for you about the PMs you might receive. I can imagine how vulnerable and uncertain I would feel in your shoes, and I worried most about (a) PMs that would hurt you, and then a little about (b) PMs that would take advantage of this time to consider your options to offer to adopt your child before you are fully able to consider parenting him or her.
I am praying, praying, praying that you are receiving PMs right now from people who have been in similar shoes and who can be sensitive and open and share their experiences in a way that helps you discern what is right for you and your family...WHATEVER that may be.
I have not been in your shoes (I do have two children with special needs, but my situation is so different), so I can't say what I would do if in your shoes. I don't think I would choose terminating the pregnancy personally, but who am I?
I really hear you when you say, "i really wish it made sense to continue this pregnancy but it really doesn't and the possibility of an honest to god nervous breakdown is alot scarier than the thought of even a huge regret." That seems really worthy of consideration. On the other hand, I have known those for whom huge regret eventually became the nervous breakdown. What would bring you the most regret (adoption can too)? Is it possible to even know right now? Like someone said, 9 months is a long time.
I guess the question becomes, what can you live with, in one year, in five years, in ten, in twenty?
I don't think you need to decide between adoption and parenting right now (I say that with some reason, being a mother by adoption and knowing well my children's birthparents). Reserve this time for, "can I live with the termination of this pregnancy?" ...Now, in a few years, many years from now? Maybe ask yourself what you are coming here for...are you looking for someone to say, "It is okay. Abortion is not the end of the world. You can have an abortion and hurt about it and still eventually come to peace with it?" Or would it be more relieving to be talked out of it?
Independent research on effects after abortion have shown that women who experienced real depression or trauma as a result were women who didn't believe in abortion or who had very conflicted feelings in the first place about it. Women who struggled with the decision but who believed in abortion as a truly valid option generally felt some sadness and mild depression and definitely had mixed emotion, but were able to come to peace with their decisions.
If you can't live with terminating this pregnancy, you can sort the rest out later. You will need unpressured space to decide whether you can make parenting this child work.
If you can live with terminating this pregnancy, than I think that answers the main question before you: "can I consider an abortion right now?"
I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.