my naked girl!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 10-23-2008, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
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my dd's dislike of clothes and shoes was tolerable this summer, but now that it's cold, i'm wearing thin. i figured it was just a phase, and she'd get past it before the weather changed. it's actually gotten worse, to the point that she literally cries when i mention putting on pants or shoes (the mention of a coat is worse.) she's fine to put on a pajama t-shirt, and is happy to wear it all day with a diaper. that'd be fine if we never had to leave the house, but this is the girl who won't sleep if she doesn't get at least one good run per day!! i know this may have to do with her sensory issues, and that's why actually getting her outside is so important. if we make it out the door, it starts all over when we get to the park. if she's able to take off her jacket (zipper, snaps, etc.), it's off - doesn't matter how cold it is outside. and it is a CONSTANT fight to get her to keep her shoes on... this may all sound petty, but it's really getting hard to deal with. i've tried to reason with her, tried to say we have to go home if she undresses, etc., but nothing works. i've asked her to tell me why it bothers her, but she just says, "i don't want to wear that. i want to just stay home."
i'm really hoping any of you with kids with spd (or just toddlers) have some thoughts and advice to share. today i had to liyerally hold her down (while she screamed) to get her coat on. it felt horrible to me, and i'm sure it felt really hard to her, too.
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#2 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 12:10 AM
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This may seem counter intuitive, but have you tried tighter clothing? Like stretchy stuff that's very fitted or even a size or two too small? Even pressure might be more comfortable than random rubbing. If it does feel better to her, you could use thermal underwear and layers to create warmth instead of a coat.

Looseness allows for bumpies and bumpies are bad! (Just ask my poor parents who had to adjust my socks like 15 times until I was old enough to put them on myself.)
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#3 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 01:08 AM
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It's taken a lot of trial and error to figure out what works for my ds. And just when we think we've figured it out, he throws us for another loop. LOL! He only has one pair of shoes he'll wear. He refuses anything with laces, zippers, velcro, etc. He will only wear this specific pair of slip on black and white shoes I got from walmart. They had them on clearance so I bought 3 pairs Of course when he wore through one pair and it was time to switch he freaked out anyway. He went through a looong phase of only wearing white shirts. He would wear any pj shirt, but if it was a daytime shirt it had to be plain white (tagless, of course). Now he's back to wearing colored t-shirts. He still won't wear polos or anything that buttons. He won't wear jeans or khakis, and hasn't in a long time. He wears sweat pants and jogging pants. I don't fight it, it's not worth it. Now we're fighting for sweaters/jackets. He refuses to wear them, no matter how cold. There is one he will wear- a red hoodie, and only because I told him it wasn't a jacket- it's just a shirt. So he'll wear it with minimal fighting.

It's fun, isn't it?

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#4 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 01:12 AM
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Mabe you should try clothes with similar texture with that of her favorite pajama t-shirt and try to make her choose what clothes to wear--presenting only those which are appropriate for the weather
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#5 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 02:19 AM
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I think all the suggestions so far have been great. I wanted to ask you how long you've let her go outside without being clothed? I know you said it doesnt matter how cold it is outside, she'll take her clothes off....but how long have you given it? Do you think that after 20 minutes or so, she'd realize how cold she is and want to put something on?
Also, how cold is it where you are? Hmmm....I'm just kind of thinking out loud here.
Would she wear Babylegs? They are not pants but like socks without the feet.

Have you read "The Out of Sync Child"? It's a must have for sensory issues. Good luck, mama...I wish I had better suggestions

Here's me I married then we had dd15 , dd11 , ds10 , and then and now we and I blog!
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#6 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 11:07 AM
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Have you tried the brushing protocol for helping her overcome tactile sensory issues?

Kim mama to DS 12/2005, Pepper kitty , and 10/03, 1/05;
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#7 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 05:58 PM
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Nayma, I totally could have written your post. Totally.

I finally had to resort to tie-on shoes that she can't get out of. Getting her into them, however, is simply battle-royale!!!! : So fun. As for clothes, it's just a constant putting back on. I think it finally wears her out and she gives up. We're not in coat season yet, but I'm totally dreading it (it was awful last year).

We have a TERRIBLE time with pajamas. They HAVE to be one piece and they HAVE to have snaps (as opposed to a zipper) because of her g-tube. And, now, the short muscle shirt kind of onesie things that had worked for a while (that she calls "lifejackets" for some reason ) are off with a quickness.

Ugh, I'm feeling ya! I might try the long-john thing myself, but I don't think the getting-on part will be any better.

Wendy ~ mom to VeeGee (6/05), who has PRS, Apraxia, SPD, VPI, a G-Tube, 14q duplication, and is a delightful little pistol! I'm an English professor and a writer.
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#8 of 10 Old 10-24-2008, 07:50 PM
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tights and moccasins!
as a child, and even now, i don't like clothes and stuuf touching me, but full contact was better than stuff moving.

try cotton tights and moccasins like these

for cold weather: try long underear on top, with a polar fleece vest on backwards.
as it gets colder, jsut make each layer thicker, graduating to maybe a thck sweater and a proper winter vest.

somehow, with my sensory issues, vests were never as bad as jackets.

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#9 of 10 Old 10-25-2008, 01:15 AM
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Would it make you feel better to know, that my DD has finally stopped stripping at the age of 5? She has been known to get naked and go swimming when it was less than 60 degrees out, and my dad actually had to remover her from the water because she didn't recognize she was turning blue!
I totally second the motion for tights and leotards. DD loves them. they have to be dance tights, though. Not regular dress tights. there is more compression, and less texture to the dance tights. Plus they last a lot longer. I also like the vest idea. Coat sleeves can drive DD wild. She is into heavier sweaters now, but she like as a nice tight layer under them. As for shoes, I recommend Padraig Cottage knit slippers. the soles are tough enough for outdoor wear as long as it isn't wet. The inside is soft fleece, no socks needed. Our second acceptable shoe option is rubber rain boots. The flashier the better. DD's current pair are blue with big chameleons eating bugs on them.

Good luck.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#10 of 10 Old 10-25-2008, 01:42 AM
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Not a whole lot of advice here, other than some commiseration. My ds is 15 and still hates socks, shoes, jackets, etc. After a certain point, I just started to let go a bit and let him go without, hoping he'd figure out for himself that he needs to wear certain items when it's cold out (or a hat when it's hot.) We live on the Canadian Prairies, and he still hasn't gotten frostbite or injured in any way, so I've just accepted that he knows his body better than I do and is smart enough not to freeze a part or two off He will put on proper clothes when it's really, really cold, so I guess he just needs the right motivation.

I second (or third, etc) the suggestion of tighter clothes, seamless clothes, etc. Ds actually had a pair of the Padraig slippers for one winter. I also always picked out clothes that were a little harder for him to put on himself, meaning it was also harder for him to take off by himself (pullover anoraks instead of jackets or parkas, lace up boots, etc), so that he wouldn't go half naked at recess on -40 days.

No advice on actually getting your child into the clothes though, I never really had to wrestle ds, he would just go limp, it was more like stuffing sausage
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