10-24-2008, 09:51 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alpha Centauri
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I'm hoping the mods won't move this to parents as partners because its about my DH and I think I'll get more help here. Besides, have you ever seen ShaggyDaddy in Parents as Partners? See what I mean? The cool people are over here.
DH doesn't get playful teasing at all, and he is currently in a blue collar workplace where that's pretty much the only way men interact with men. They particularly like using the handheld radios to come up with the most scathing, and thus most affectionate, insults to each other. He thinks they are insulting him and making fun of him, and he comes home every night feeling absolutely terrible. One incident in particular a co-worker who was trying to do some ritual-like bonding with him smacked him on the back in a playful manner, and DH came completely unglued, screaming at the guy and accusing him of assault. They kind of give DH a wide berth now, cause they don't really understand him or can predict his behavior very well, and DH thinks they hate him.
I tried to explain playful teasing and blue collar bonding rituals to the best of my limited ability to him, but he becomes very upset and defensive, and thinks I am taking "their" side against him.
Anyone have any links to blogs or articles dealing with this issue? I found some stuff for kids - learning to distinguish teasing from bullying - but nothing that really talks about blue collar culture and how it works. Or anyone have any ideas how I can help him with this? Its not just this job, its a recurring theme for him, unfortunately. Even a neighbor just being friendly is sometimes perceived as insulting him.
Edited to add: He just came home from work early and says he has been laid off
Since we're going to be looking for new employment, any suggestions what kind of work he might enjoy more as an unskilled but very hard-working, very loyal, very honest aspie?