This is a timely question for me, as my daughter (5) with sensory issues has to have 4 teeth extracted on the 17th. We go to a pediatric dentist who has been very good with her - my daughter likes to go to the dentist! They talk the kids through everything that they are doing, are very calm, fun, etc. But my daughter has very healthy teeth and they have never had to do anything like a filling, etc.
However, I was a little nervous when the dentist told me that the teeth need to come out (adult teeth coming in, baby teeth showing no signs of budging) and she's only using nitrous. And she initially did not want me in the room (my daughter has major separation anxiety), which I vetoed.
The dentist thinks I am an over-anxious mother. She doesn't know my daughter as well as I do (who can often present very typically developing), and I just have to remind myself of that so I am not offended. She has extreme reactions to pain of any kind, and can work herself up into phobic frenzies. The dentist doesn't know this because they have never even had to scrape tartar off her teeth.
But I want to give it a go with this dentist because she has done great in the past, and the teeth need to come out asap, and I don't want to find another dentist. I think a different dentist would add another level of apprehension for my daughter.
So, pediatric dentist is a definite, and I would talk to them to be sure that they understand your child's special needs.
Best of luck,