Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
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No, but I've read Raising Your Spirited Child, I think written by the same people, and it was extremely helpful for us!!! I always recommend it to other parents. I'm glad you like Explosive Child!
Thanks for that link!...I know see what 'baskets' is hehe
I have never read the spirited child book. I do not think that fits DS at all. The highly sensitive child is much more him. But he has some serious frustration issues and these bursts, in these many mini meltdowns..he just seems so angry! And then its over. And its clear he had no control at all over what just happened.
I am looking forward to reading the rest of the book. But right now I have to say I am feeling really helpless. The book seems to come at a place where we already are. (so I sort of feel I am already at the end of the tunnel, but am still seeing no light iykwim) I did not start off with your 'mainstream' parenting of punishments/rewards/time-outs/etc. (I wont even go there - I know it wont 'help' either for more than one reason!) We live, try our best at least!, consensually.
I think the problem actually tends to be more with me. My patience surprises me but its like...it builds up and up and up and then I just cant take it anymore and end up shouting or something and its like we are back to square one. Its hard to have empathy during one of his meltdowns. But I know that this is my issue and not his. I am also reading 'Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves' which seems to cover some of this.
I guess my fault is that I am trying to find a way to fix this. To help his meltdowns eventually cease. I guess this is not possible? I dont know. I feel like I do everything right and then he comes out with something like kicking and hitting me and I am like wtf! - where did he get this from?! Why is he so angry!
Ugh...can you tell we had a bad day? lol
|I became angry and resentful at dd2, at myself for not figuring it out how to get through to her. Her intensity, her negativism, her clinginess, her chronic meltdowns is what made me turn punitive for a while. I was at my wit's end, and even went on antidepressants for a while, because there was a rage building inside me (partly due to hormones too because I was still breastfeeding my then 2 year old who was having her own issues - her speech delay caused her to scream at me often because I did not understand what she wanted half the time). A rage started to build in me because no one had to see or deal with some of the things she did. Where opening up a granola bar package the wrong way sent dd into a 15 minute meltdown complete with tears and wails. Where walking two blocks ended up in a wailing meltdown and a refusal to walk any further until I picked her up when she was almost 4.|
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