I know you are well-worn on these posts, so please accept my apologies for adding to the mountain. I also know it helps so much to be able to "talk" about what's going on and to be heard by those who understand. I know you can't give me an answer, but I do know you can give me support and a listening ear. And if I do happen to be one of the very few who come out of this with two healthy babies, I'll be here with you a lot! I have two weeks until my early ultrasound at 6.5 weeks, when we will be looking specifically for a headcount. I know it will be a challenging two weeks for me!
Some of you may recognize my username from a while ago. I was wondering about twins during my last pregnancy (pg #4), for which I had no real clear indications, just a kind of suspicion. She was just one. So I've been burned by this before, and I'm definitely wary and wondering if I'm in fact crazy
Anyway, here goes. We started talking about adding another child to our family of 3 kids as a hypothetical. About a week into the conversation my fertility returned, surprisingly as I was only 9 months postpartum and breastfeeding 3 children! After much debate, we did decide to "open the door" and I began tracking my basal body temps. The day I started to ovulate, with clear feelings from my ovary, my grandmother died. I was under a lot of stress the next four days, and my ovulation was delayed. I felt it gearing up and down each day and it was really quite frustrating and a little painful! Finally, on the day of her absolutely magical funeral service and my 30th birthday, I ovulated. The next day my temp shot up. I had felt ovulation pains on both sides, but thought little of it. Then 7 days later my temps went up again into a triphasic pattern, which has never happened to me. I felt my ovaries pulsing back and forth rhythmically that day, definitely both of them were secreting progesterone from separate corpus luteums. On 13dpo I got a BFP, a blood draw, and felt my ovaries do a similar tango back and forth. My temps shot up again after that. My blood work showed:
13dpo hCG: 146, prog: 24.5
15dpo hCG: 482, prog: 20.5
doubling time: 27 hours
Now I expected my progesterone to be higher than that with two corpus luteums (lutea?), but from my research I've found that progesterone levels vary widely throughout the day and so a single draw is only marginally useful as a snapshot (as in it could be 15+ pts higher at another point in the day, or lower). I am pretty convinced that my body managed to ovulate from both sides, although I know that does not necessarily mean there are two healthy babies in there. The hCG numbers do line up much more nicely with the twin pregnancies at www.betabase.info
, with 86% of single pregnancies at 13dpo having lower numbers, and 96% of single pregnancies at 15dpo having lower numbers, but I know I could be out of the norm. But that paired with the near certainty of dual ovulation does have me imagining seeing that ultrasound screen in two weeks with two sacs looking back at me. The irony would be that we always said we would have 5 kids before having our first, then backed off to 3, and then to 4.
I do believe strongly in reincarnation, and so I believe that whoever is with me has been drawn here by the pull of their energies to our family. And if there are two, that is beyond me to question, as is the case if there is one, or if no one stays around. Basically, it's none of my business! I can't be attached because what is happening is part of the path of that person's life. Does that make sense? I may be babbling now. I am so swimming in hormones.
Just for reference, I'm a medical researcher who spent a year in med school and I LOVE learning about this process, so I do get caught up in all the details even though at the basic level I am trusting of the bigger picture.
So am I totally wacko? Maybe! Only time will tell. I very much want the quick peak via ultrasound because it's important to me to know for certain if two lives visited me, to give myself permission to mourn if one should leave. I'm not okay with just seeing who pops out later, or relying only on my intuition side to tell me. Besides, the ultrasound will also be able to tell me for sure if I have a corpus luteum on both sides! I think that's the thing that's most itching at me, because it involves a message my body is giving me and I want validation for that interpretation. Whoever is there is a celebration regardless, and while I know it would be incredibly challenging, I also know we have are very fortunate to have a lot of support and we'd be okay managing twins.
Sigh. Sorry for the novel! I will come back and keep you posted. My ultrasound is 1/12. Your opinions, support, and general chattiness is most welcome.