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Old 02-16-2009, 01:24 AM
 
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I couldn't read and not give some hugs. So:
, mama.

You are living my worst fear. I want to get pg again, but I am terrified that it will be twins again. I wish I had something more helpful to say, other than that your feelings are totally and completely valid. People love to say how cute twins are, but nobody who hasn't had multiples really gets just how much it takes out of you. So you do what you need to do.

Wishing you strength and clarity of mind. You are a brave, brave mama. If I lived near you, I would come over and watch your lo's for a while.
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:26 PM
 
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Dear Melanie. What a situation! I remember the day of panic and depression I had when I first found out I was having twins. Calculating all the logistics and how we would manage. I can only imagine what you're going through hearing that news a second time, and with your first set so young! Denial and optimism pulled me through my "twin shock", and things have been better than I expected. If you go through with this pregnancy, I hope with all my heart that things are good for you too. You'll always have our ear and our support!

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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I really feel for you!!! If I lived closer I would be more than willing to help out!!! I can "kind" of relate to what you are going thru.

When our twins (they were adopted) were 3 months old I found out I was 4 months pregnant. Boy did I panic!!!! I did a LOT of praying that I wasn't pregnant with twins. Thankfully god was listening because I seriously don't think I could have handled two more babies. I wasn't the slightest bit happy about being pregnant. In fact I was VERY upset I was pregnant not to mention extremely scared.

My oldest was 22 yo and living on her own and here I was with not one, not two, but THREE babies to take care of. It was overwhelming to say the least!!!

All the anger and fear disappeared the minute Caitlyn was born. The twins were were 8 months old when she was born. Things were kind of insane for a while. If it wasn't for all the help I had I would never have made it through.

Now that the youngest is almost 22 months and the twins are 30 months, life is much, much easier. I am so enjoying them right now. This has been my favorite age!!! There were many days the past 2 1/2 years where I wanted to pack my stuff and run away, but I was afraid they would just come after me

Mom to, Cassi,, 25 yo daughter, 4 yo twins, Carson & Camryn 3 yo Caitlyn and my wonderful 14 yo neice, Carlie
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:08 PM
 
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Oh Melanie, what a shock. I send you big hugs. If you live anywhere near Charlotte, feel free to PM me, and we can meet.

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
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Old 03-03-2009, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I want each of you to know how much I sincerely appreciate your words and encouragement. DoomaYula I live in Carrboro/Chapel Hill, but sometimes go to Charlotte because that's where my husband's family lives. I'll PM you next time we're there.

Since posting what I did in this thread I've not really been able to "revisit" my feelings. Well I HAVE in that it constantly consumes me in my thoughts, but I just couldn't go back and read responses cause it triggered the R-E-A-L-I-T-Y.

the only way I'm "coping" now is denial. I don't mean that to be cute or funny. I just have to pretend that I'm okay because what else can I do? I can't cry like a maniac in front of my children. It's almost like I jumped on a cloud that's overriding the ugly beneath and I can't see it. I REFUSE to go under because there is a responsibility at stake to my existing children.

again, you all are a GODSEND. Your words have touched me. I still don't (will never) understand why this has happened. You would think it would strengthen my faith but it's just lessened it. I know that sounds sad but maybe it's just a "bad season" of my life. One day I'll be able to make sense of all this?

funny how I have 2 living beings inside me and yet I feel so much grief like I've lost something

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 03-03-2009, 11:57 PM
 
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Hey! We're moving to CH/C next weekend, and after we get settled a little, I'd love to meet up sometime and help you in any way I can.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey! We're moving to CH/C next weekend, and after we get settled a little, I'd love to meet up sometime and help you in any way I can.
WOW! Of course get yourself settled first before diving into my mess . Seriously it would be soo nice to meet you! I joined your facebook group

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:00 AM
 
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Thanks for the update... you often come into my thoughts and I always send good wishes your way when you do! I think you are doing exactly what you need to be doing right now to cope, survive, live, move forward (and I imagine I would be getting by with denial and basic survival as well). I hope you have a wonderful community IRL to support you as well...

Thinking of you.
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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Wow. I would honestly say that if I was in your shoes, I would be crying too. The first year was so hard for me, I'm still not sure how I survived it. I have no words of advice for you. All I can send you is strength, love and encouragment that things will work out in the end...

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PurpleMonkey View Post
I joined your facebook group
If I knew which one you were, I'd add you as a friend. Frankly, I'd add all my MDC mamas as friends if I knew which ones were which.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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Old 03-04-2009, 12:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If I knew which one you were, I'd add you as a friend. Frankly, I'd add all my MDC mamas as friends if I knew which ones were which.
me! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...61&ref=profile

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 03-06-2009, 02:17 AM
 
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I second the advice about trying to join a local moms of multiples group if you haven't already. They tend to be pretty mainstream, but you will meet mamas IRL who are or have been where you are, and they will offer you support, and hopefully help that it sounds like you could really use.

Just my personal opinion, but I think you are probably an amazing mama to your beautiful girls, and that is why you have been chosen for the blessing/challenge once more

sarah, mama to e & j 8/08, and big brother 8/06
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Old 03-09-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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I'm glad to hear that even if you haven't been able to get happy, you're finding a way to cope on a daily basis. I think that is the most one could ask right now.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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